Hi, My Name Is Trouble
by Miss Ace Thank You
Summary: Jazmine Dubois is Miss It, now. Everybody loves her. She has the perfect life. She has the perfect boyfriend,the perfect car, the perfect everything. Or at least, that's what it looks like on the outside. And soon, Jazmine will learn perfect-the hard way.
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

"_Can't apologize cuz that ain't my style." - Usher_

* * *

_I looked good. I knew I did. Everybody loved me, and everybody wanted me. Not that it mattered. The people who I really loved the most? I had turned my back against them for a title. I wasn't even sure if I wanted it anymore. Now, it all seemed so superficial and shallow. Something jumped inside of me. That stupid little voice had decided to voice its precious opinions once again, and I couldn't argue with it. I feel bad for even thinking it's stupid sometimes. Because deep down, I know it's right._

_People want popularity. They don't understand the sacrifices that we make to impress a crowd. All the things we do? All the things we are? Each and every one of us has had to give up something to become the talk of the school. It isn't easy, but to me, it's worth it. Sounds extreme, I know, but that's just the way it is. After all, one day I was just Jazmine Dubois. Now, I'm The Jazmine Dubois._

_Everybody thinks they know me. People watch me walk into a room and fidget under my gaze. I can wear sweat pants from the dumpster, and somehow, everybody would find them. People talk about me too. Surprisingly, I don't care. I know all of the rumors. I know that I supposedly cheated on my boyfriend of two years, Kevin Bryce. They say that I fucked the principal to earn my number one spot in our class. They say my hair isn't real, but it is. And I know that I supposedly made out with Cindy McPhearson in the restroom. Not that it would happen. We don't talk anymore. We haven't for three whole years, now. I don't want to think about it. Let's just say that she was better off where she is. And no, she's not dead. It's just…things change._

_That reminds me of him. I remember the days that I used to follow him around like a lost puppy. And now that I'm older, we barely talk. That hurts the most. He's one of my biggest regrets, and I'm one of his. He told me so once. His name is Huey Freeman if you already haven't guessed. Once upon a time, I used to have the biggest crush on him. I knew he would be great one day. I still do know that he's going to be a great man. After all, he's more of a man than every boy here- including Kevin Bryce. But I can't associate with him. And Huey? I know that he wouldn't even bother to speak to me now. Not after what I did to him. He's cute now too. Girls swoon over him, but if he's anything like I remember, he doesn't care. Plus, he has a girlfriend now. Her name is Arielle. She is most definitely- different._

_I miss them. My friends, I mean. Not these fake ass wannabees I'm sitting around. Huey, Riley, Cindy and Michael? They were real. They told me how it was and how it wasn't. I could purposely come to the school looking awful and this clique would tell me how great it was. Not my old crew. Somebody would have busted me out. I want to tell the people at my table this as we smile and look happy. We're not even eating lunch. That's not acceptable. I roll my eyes at my growling stomach. It's obviously not happy with this, but I ignore it, clicking my new heels that Daddy bought me. _

_We're the Gossip Girl of John Edgar High School. We're just better. No, we don't go to balls and have somebody text messaging us with all the crazy secrets. That's how people get seriously hurt. And under no circumstances will you see us sport those crazy headbands, no matter how gorgeous some of them may be. Nobody needs to pass the torch along to us to know who's the boss. The queen is the queen, and everybody knows her. Her name is Tasha. Tasha Fight. Her name sounds like she means business. And me? I'm supposedly the princess, the next girl in line for the queenly throne, but not without Tasha's approval. I feel eyes on me, so I look up expectantly. It's not Tasha. It's Huey, and he looks really upset. I wonder what's wrong. He notices me, and his gaze hardens. I look away, not blaming him. I'm a monster. I'm a beautiful monster that destroys everything I touch. I know I deserve it._

_And honestly, it's better if he stays away from me. I wouldn't kill them physically or even emotionally, but now that we're juniors, these desperate broads would do anything to take my spot as the potential diva of John Edgar High. My old crew is an easy target. And I can't let them hit the bullseye. _

"_Jazmine?" Tasha asks._

_I look up expectantly from the mirror in my usual seat by the cafeteria's window I've had since the ninth grade. Tasha has a smirk on her face. I wonder what she's thinking._

"_Yeah?" I reply._

"_You're in my seat." She tells me._

New story up?

Dang like that? YEEEP!

So review, and bye?


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

* * *

"_Fuck You. Fuck the __plane you flew in on. Fuck them shoes. Fuck those socks with the belt on it. Fuck yo gay ass fairy faggot accent. Fuck them cheap ass cigars. Fuck yo yuck mouth teeth. Fuck yo hair piece. Fuck yo chocolate. Fuck Guy Richie. Fuck Prince William. Fuck the queen. This is America. My president is Black and my Lambo is blue, nigga. Now_ _get the fuck out my hotel. And if_ _I see you in the street I'm slapping the shit outta ya." –Riley Freeman_

* * *

I hate that Jazmine acts this way. Don't get me wrong. I've always seen this coming. Deep down, I knew that Jazmine was only behaving this way because she had insecurities about herself. That didn't, however, keep me from being angry with her. I used to spend every day with the girl, telling her to accept herself. But Jazmine being Jazmine, she refused to believe me. I was trying to spare her feelings. That's what she told me. I laughed at the thought. I, Huey, Freeman, never spare feelings. It's a very rare thing.

I know that she's in there somewhere. I don't believe the rumors. I doubt that any of them are true. Jazmine is too honest to cheat on Kevin Bryce, not that he'd care. He cheats on her everyday with Tasha. I shake my head at the fact that Jazmine is probably too oblivious to know what's going on with them. And besides that, Jazmine would never fuck our principal. She's too shallow for one, and if my memory serves correct, she's not doing anything sexually related until she's found "the one." I guess that's Kevin's excuse for cheating. I don't believe any of it. The girl is smart despite her lack of common sense sometimes. She earned that number one spot. Honestly, I hope she keeps it. Sometimes, I take a look at her, and I can barely recognize the little girl with the afro puffs. All I see is some sort of fake girl who covers her insecurities with make-up.

At lunch today, I looked at her. She had been pretending to examine herself in the mirror, but I knew better. Jazmine was probably hungry. Seeing as though it wasn't acceptable to eat during lunchtime, Jazmine had to do something that occupied her time. Suddenly, she looked up at me, somehow feeling me watching her for a moment. She looked back, and in just one moment, I could see everything she wanted to say. I just wanted to hear her say it. Instead, she said nothing as she turned away from me, like always. I didn't care. I just glared at her, sure she could feel the heat of my potent gaze before I finally let it go, seeing her shoulders slump down in discreet sorrow.

After lunch, I was happy to be in class now. It definitely wouldn't be awkward. This was, after all, AP Psychology. Jazmine would never show up here.

"Sorry I'm late," A feminine voice panted, "I didn't know that you moved."

I sighed. Why had I gotten my hopes up?

"It's alright, Jazmine," Professor Elliot's voice was surprisingly colder as she spoke to a fidgeting Jazmine. Jazmine's hair cascaded down her back in true Caucasian form. I guess she was happy now. "I'm sure that it won't happen again."

Jazmine spoke in a small voice, "It won't."

"Take a seat, Dubois." Professor Elliot told her.

Jazmine moved to the back of the classroom. She stumbled over the chair in front of her. It rattled as she finally got to her destination. She sat down, sitting her purse down. It too fell down. The class could hold it in no longer. They erupted into laughter. Jazmine ignored them, picking up the many feminine items and placing them into her purse. She finally sat down. Professor Elliot cleared her throat.

"Not there, Miss Dubois, next to Huey," Professor Elliot pointed to the seat next to me. I looked up at her, hoping that for my sake, she would leave Jazmine where she was. Of course, I had no such luck.

Jazmine plopped right next to me. She pouted as she tapped her heels. She was still very muscular, probably from cheerleading. Her eyes were green, covered in some sort of gold makeup today. They were lined up with eyeliner, winged at the tip. Her eyelashes were covered in mascara, and she wore a form fitting collared shirt with her short skirt. I wrinkled my nose at the perfume she wore. It smelled too strong. I also wondered who sprayed that on her. I was already annoyed just looking at her, and that tapping was not making her any easier to be around.

"Can you please cut that out?" I groaned. She instantly stopped and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Stop what?" Jazmine wasn't being smart. She was dead serious. She really didn't notice.

"Tapping your heels," I told her, "It's disturbing."

She didn't say anything else. She simply spun around in her seat. She stopped the tapping. Relieved, I looked towards the chalkboard. Crap. It was only the first day of school, and Professor Elliot had already given us a homework assignment, two projects, and a lab. They were all due this week. I looked around at the horrified looks in the class and saw a small smirk of satisfaction on our teacher's face. It was just as I suspected. She was trying to weed us out, and I, for one, wasn't going to fall for it. I would stay in this class all year. There was nothing that she could do to make me leave.

"And here is your test," Professor Elliot announced.

The class groaned out in frustration.

"If you have a problem, you can always leave," Her eyes locked on Jazmine, "You, maybe?"

Jazmine looked right back, "I'll take the test."

Professor Elliot tossed her the paper before handing everybody else there's, allowing us to begin. This shit was hard as hell. Who in the world was going to pass this? I sat there for at least ten minutes, staring at the paper. I heard the sound of a pencil hitting the desk. It was Jazmine. She got up and handed our teacher the paper, receiving a questionable glance from the teacher. Jazmine ignored it. She returned to her seat. I could hear her head hitting the desk.

"No sleeping, Dubois," Professor Elliot called out.

Jazmine's eyes narrowed, but she said nothing. She only sat up and looked at her desk.

After class, Professor Elliot made us look at the list above her door to see who our partners for the year would be for our experiments. Of course, it was Jazmine. I winced. My girlfriend would not be happy about this. Apparently, Jazmine had already read the list. I could hear her in the room as my eyes scanned the list for somebody who would be willing to switch. Anybody but her was somebody I could deal with.

"Professor Elliot, please, I'll do an a thousand page research paper. Anything," Jazmine sounded desperate.

"Sometimes in life, you have to take what you're given, Dubois," Professor Elliot sounded calm and collected.

Jazmine, on the other hand, sounded hysterical, "Professor Elliot, you don't understand. I don't think I can handle him being my lab partner this year. Please don't make me. Please!"

"Jazmine," Professor Elliot sounded annoyed, "If you can't handle Mr. Freeman as your lab partner, maybe you should drop this class."

"No!" Jazmine exclaimed in protest, "I can handle it. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

"Apology accepted." I heard our teacher tell Jazmine. I could almost picture Jazmine's sullen face. Her heels clicked towards the door, "And Jazmine?"

The clicking stopped, "Yes?"

"I still want that one thousand page paper," Professor Elliot told her, "You know? Since you wasted my time, I think it's only fair."

'_Damn._' I thought to myself. '_That's fucked up.'_

I could almost see Jazmine nod, "When do you want it?"

"How about in two weeks? I want it typed in MLA format. That wouldn't be a problem. Would it Dubois?" Professor Elliot asked her.

There was silence. Jazmine was probably shaking her head no.

"Well, run along then," Professor Elliot told her, "After all, I'm sure you wouldn't want to be late again."

I stepped down the hall as the heels got closer and closer to me. She looked at me, and I looked at her. Then, she went to her class. I was thinking about stopping her but shrugged. I had better things to do than bother insecure girls.

"Huey?" A feminine voice was in my vicinity. Luckily, it was the one I actually one I wanted to hear.

"Arielle?" I asked her, as I put my arm around her shoulders. I raised my eyebrow at her, "What's up?"

"I heard about your partner, and that bitch of a teacher!" Arielle looked at me, her brown eyes in awe, "Is she really that bad?"

"God, yes," I groaned as we walked towards class, "As in test on the first day, bad."

"Get over it," Arielle shrugged, "Or you can drop the class."

She was blunt too. That was one of the reasons that I liked her. She understood me; I understood her too. That gave us the perfect relationship. I hated guessing what people were thinking. With her, I at least had an idea. I shot her a look, "Not happening."

"Then stop bitching so much and do something about it." Arielle shrugged. Her braids swept over her shoulder. She didn't wear any make up at all. Her skin wasn't as light as Jazmine's but it wasn't as dark as midnight either. She had more of a caramel tone. Not that I cared. All black women had their own beauty. Arielle's was her personality, but her looks definitely didn't hurt.

"I wasn't bitching," I told her as she gave me a peck on the lips before heading to the class Jazmine just walked into. I walked into my own, gulping. That couldn't be good.

* * *

I couldn't stand that fake ass Mariah Carey. She thought that she was so cute. At least she had been a genuine cry baby when I moved here at age eleven. Now, she was some fake ass bitch. She sat in the theater, looking relaxed, and despite myself, my eyes softened. I remembered how the girl loved acting more than anything in the world. She probably gave that up for popularity too. My own eyes hardened again. I snorted. That was her fault. If she didn't care, why should I?

Jazmine and I had never gotten along anyways. She was always hanging out with Huey and Riley. They didn't even like her. She was annoying as hell, even then. She asked the most stupid questions know to man. Besides, she still believed in Santa when we were twelve. How gullible did you have to be to believe in Santa at that age? Apparently, as gullible as believing Kevin Bryce wasn't cheating on you with your supposed best friend. I shook my head. Everybody knew, but Jazmine wasn't buying it. She stuck to that boy like glue. I guess that's one thing I could still say for her ass. She was loyal.

The thing that hurt the most when we were younger is that both of us liked Huey, but he would always take her side. No matter how stupid and idiotic she sounded, he would defend her. Even when she had left all of us in the dust for her new artificial friends, he believed that Jazmine would come to her senses. I snorted. Everybody knew that would never happen. Even Cindy, Jazmine's ex-best friend, had snorted at Huey. But after about a week of silent treatment, Huey got the picture.

I still couldn't believe it had been three years since she just cut off any contact with us. It was so unlike her. Normally, she would have run to us squealing like a pig at the thought of obtaining such popularity, but that day, she had turned her head, nose upturned, as she walked away with the rest of her new crew. I had clenched my fist in protest, but Huey had held me back. That didn't help. It only made me angrier. Even then, he was protecting her, and I wanted nothing more than to beat her to the bloody pulp that she deserved to be put in.

Jazmine could see me too. I saw her eyes widen as she made eye contact with me. She shrank back a little bit. It wasn't entirely visible, but it was enough for me. I smirked on the inside. On the outside, I glared at her. After all, we didn't talk, and I still couldn't stand her. I didn't care how pretty the girl had gotten. I didn't care how popular she thought she was. I would still beat that ass.

"What are you looking at?" I growled.

"Nothing," Jazmine shook her head as she spun around in her seat.

"Are you sure?" I asked her cracking my knuckles.

She nodded again. It annoyed me. I walked towards her.

"Arielle, leave the girl alone," Somebody called out, not realizing that they pissed me off.

I lifted my fist as I made my way towards her chair. She looked up at me with her eyes wide as she watched me pull my fist back and strike. I felt strange. Had I hit her? The class chuckled. Jazmine was still in her chair, and I was on the ground. My butt hurt, and there was a light delicate handprint around my wrist. My eyes widened. Jazmine had retaliated with her own attack. I almost tackled the brat out of her chair, but the teacher walked in.

"This isn't over." I growled with a warning in my voice that I made sure she heard. I could have sworn that I heard an apology as I turned on my heel, walking away from her. She could sit with the fakes in here if she wanted to. I, on the other hand, pulled out my encyclopedia of influential black leaders. It never got old. Our teacher, Mrs. Wells, called out the roll. She peered at Jazmine over the rims of her glasses, smiling. I shook my head. She was just as bad as Huey used to be.

"Jazmine Dubois," She called the name.

I sighed loudly.

"Is there an issue Miss Nordstrom?" She asked me.

"No," I sighed innocently, shaking my head, "I don't have one at all."

"Good." She told me, nodding her head vigorously.

I rolled my eyes at her only to catch her rolling her own back.

"Jazmine, Arielle!" Mrs. Wells called our names.

"Huh?" We both looked up, hoping we weren't in trouble or anything like that.

"Get up there," She looked at us like we were crazy. I guessed that we were. The room got quiet. Everybody wanted to see the tension erupt. I could feel it. Judging from the look on Jazmine's face, she could feel it too.

We walked onto the stage.

"What do you want us to act out?" Jazmine piped up. She looked like she belonged in the spotlight. I shook my head. It was ironic that she was there, seeing as though that's how her life always seemed to be.

"Just wing it," Mrs. Wells told us, "Make something up."

I threw my head back in laughter. That was the wrong move to make.

"Oh, poor, poor Chrissy," I gestured to Jazmine, "She's oh so lost. She thinks she has everything."

Jazmine looked confused, so I continued as the class chuckled, knowing exactly who I was really talking about.

"She thinks that I'm her best friend!" I laughed hysterically as I rolled over the ground. Abruptly, I stopped and narrowed my eyes, "But I'm not."

Jazmine caught on now, "Really? As if I didn't know that,"

"Well, sometimes, it's hard to tell," I nodded towards her as she took a step back.

"And more times than not, it's relatively easy," Jazmine runs a hand through her hair, rolling her eyes, "But why is that, I wonder? Could it be repressed feelings? Insanity? Rage? Or is it just plain old jealousy?"

I was shocked. I wasn't expecting her to retort to my call out. We clearly weren't acting now, "No, Chrissy. After all, you're the one who skipped town and left the ones you cared about. What did you expect?"

Jazmine shrugged, her hand on her hips, "Nothing."

That tone that she gave me meant much more than nothing, "Well then, I guess that's all I needed to hear. So walk back off into the sunset. That glamorous life you always wanted is what you got."

"Gladly," Jazmine said as she turned on her heel, receiving a standing ovation.

I shook my head. I could never understand why no matter how silly Jazmine looked, people still loved her. It was stupid.

"Great job ladies," Mrs. Wells gushed, "Notice the tension between them. The way that their body language speaks for them. They look like they hate each other, almost as if they would murder one another. Yet they did something deeper, they showed the participation of envy on both sides."

Jazmine and I both snorted loudly. Why would I be jealous of her?

"It was subtle, but it was there. There also that small hint of sadness at what they lost," Mrs. Wells smiled at us both. She was too perceptive for her own good, "They clearly missed the relationship with each other they used to have. I especially enjoyed Arielle's look of disgust and disappointment in Chrissy."

"I try," I smirked happily.

"Now, Stanley and Gus," Mrs. Wells called out abruptly, "What you got?"

* * *

I missed my old best friend. I didn't really care for Arielle, and now that Riley and I were going out, I really missed having Jazmine to talk to. Sometimes, I would feel lonely. I missed having that real female friend to talk to. Arielle was too damn blunt for me. Unlike Jazmine, she always had an opinion. She just had to open her mouth. I just wanted somebody who would listen.

It had been a long first day of school. Apparently, the rumors about junior year I had heard were true because I had this shit load of homework just waiting to be done on the first day of school. I wanted to fast forward to senior year because this shit just wasn't going to get it. I was happy to see the stinky yellow school bus pull up. At least, I could finally go home.

"I hate global warming!" Arielle announced to nobody in particular, "What's wrong, Cindy?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, not wanting her to know that I was missing my old best friend.

"Whatever. Don't commit suicide or something either and blame me," Arielle shrugged.

I wanted to tell her to go pull that stick out of her ass, but I thought better of it when I noticed Huey next to her, "Alright."

The bus pulled up. I looked around for Riley. I hoped he was walking out soon. I really wasn't in the mood to walk because we missed the bus home.

"Mane! These teachers are bugging! What's wrong with them?" Riley yelled out.

Ah, there he was.

"Riley, what are you talking about?" An exasperated Huey asked him as we headed towards the bus.

"Mane! I had to have tests on those shitty ass books we had to read over the summer!" Riley announced as he fanned himself, "Who actually reads over the summer? Not me! I'm Young Reezy!"

"So I take it that you already started failing this year," Arielle answered as she snuggled into Huey like it wasn't over one hundred degrees outside.

"What she said," Huey nodded as they loaded the bus, or at least they started to. Ruckus was at the door. We all let out a huge breath.

"Damn! I thought yo ass finally got fired!" Riley yelled out. He was clearly angry.

"Of course not," Uncle Ruckus laughed as his belly shook with the motions.

"We just want to ride the bus, Ruckus," Huey's voice was cautious.

"You can walk. You darkies were made for the heat," Ruckus told us as his eyes looked at something behind us. We turned around.

"What's back there?" Arielle snorted.

"Look at that white girl," Ruckus gestured towards Jazmine, "She's only a junior and she's already princess of the school."

"Not you too," Huey groaned.

"The white girl is clearly powerful. Look at that hair. And she's number one in the class," Ruckus beamed at me, "That's the kind of people you should hang out with. Not these jungle bunnies over here."

Arielle made a face of disgust, "You know that Jazmine is black too, right?"

"That's Jazmine?" Ruckus looked at her as she got into her car, "Thank god that little girl got a relaxer. It's about time!"

"Her hair was fine the way it was!" Huey shouted. We all looked at him but said nothing. We knew he missed Jazmine the most out of all of us. No matter how much he denied it.

"The white blood in her is clearly dominant," Ruckus nodded his head as we passed by him and made out way onto the bus, "She will be a great woman. The white woman has such a great heart. God bless little Jazmine Dubois, her mama too."

"That nigga's crazy mane!" My boyfriend Riley told me. I couldn't help but laugh before he pulled me into his arms against his muscular chest. He must have known I was stressed, "Better?"

"Much," I nodded as the bus lurched forward.

* * *

Kevin was not happy with my lab partner results to say the least.

"Huey? Huey Freeman?" He threw his hands up in the air as though he were exasperated, "Jazmine, he's a terrorist. He's a threat to society."

I rolled my eyes at him, annoyed with his words, "Huey Freeman is not a terrorist, Kevin. I've known him since I was eight years old."

"Jazmine, I just don't want him to hurt you. You know he's done it before," His voice softened, and he looked at me with those gorgeous hazel eyes. His muscles stood out against his shirt. The nice comforting ebony skin that I had come to love taunted me. I wanted to believe him, but Kevin had a manipulative tendency. I wasn't buying it.

"And you haven't?" I asked him as I sighed. I moved away from him and sat on the opposite side of the couch. I felt stupid now for being in his house alone. I was in a really compromising position. I made a mental note to end this quickly.

"What's that supposed to mean, Jazmine?" Kevin's eyes narrowed warily. I hated when he did that. He made me feel like I was less than him.

"Don't pretend like you don't know," I huffed as I turned to look at him in his eyes. They held a little fear. He really didn't think I knew, "You've been cheating on me with Tasha."

"Babe, they're lying," He told me as he tried to pull me to him. His eyes weren't even on me. They were shifting, wild, "I love you and you only. Those other girls, Tasha, they're nobody to me."

"Really?" I asked him lifting an eyebrow, "Because I could have sworn-"

"Jazmine, if we're going to be in this relationship, you need to trust me," His hands fidgeted in his lap as he bit his bottom lip. _Shit. _How was I supposed to focus when he was doing that?

I wanted to tell him that I knew he was lying. I had seen them together after all. I had just left his house, feeling giddy on our last date before school started. In turn, what did he do? He invited Tasha Fight, in the flesh, to his house as soon as I turned the corner with my new Mercedes. I realized I left my favorite bracelet there, so I did a U-turn. No sooner had I turned the corner did I see Tasha and Kevin on his doorstep, kissing fervently kissing in a way that Kevin and I had never kissed. Ever.

"What about Jazmine?" I heard her ask as I pulled the windows of the car down.

I allowed the tears to roll down my face as I heard his answer. With it, he gave Tasha, not me, that devastatingly beautiful grin, "Jazmine, who?"

But I didn't tell him that I knew. I didn't lay down any type of laws. Instead, I looked up at him.

"I do trust you."

"Then, believe me, baby," Kevin grinned at me. Then, he frowned, "Because I make you hotter."

I frowned. That was a threat. It meant that I could get down or lay down. It meant that without him, my popularity I had worked so hard for meant nothing. I should have known better and tossed his cocky ass out of the door, but it's so hard. He's so easy to fall for. I know that he's an asshole, and I know any guy would say I deserved better. But honestly, any relationship is going to have its issues. I shuddered at the thought of my parents' own. I wondered if anybody was at home, now. I doubted it. They never came home until after midnight. Who cared what I did?

I smiled at him widely, pretending to be stupid. In a way, I was, "You do, baby. I love you. You know that right?"

He kissed me deeply then. And to my surprise, I could form thoughts of pure rage as he attempted to ram his tongue down my throat. Ew? I wondered how I could hate him and love him at the same time.

I also wondered why I wanted to keep kissing him and take a pair of scissors and give him my own personal vasectomy.

* * *

No offense to nobody in this house or whatever. I think the world of my big brother when his ass ain't being gay and all that shit, but his girlfriend, Arielle, gets on my last nerves sometimes. I mean don't get me wrong. That bitch is a hell of a cool ass girl, but come on now. One Huey is enough for my ass to deal with. Hell, he's enough for anybody to deal with. Plus, they asses just ain't right together. I don't give a shit how Cindy tries to tell me that they're alike, so it's okay. Don't try to tell me that. I know who belongs together and who doesn't, and Huey and Arielle just don't. Besides, if Jazmine hadn't decided to become an entirely different type of female, Arielle's ass wouldn't have Huey to begin with.

Huey actually does care about a nigga, beneath all the sarcasm and shit. But I can tell that Arielle is different. If I died today, the only reason she might look sad is because Huey did. That's the only evidence I've ever seen when it came to her having a heart, around Huey. Plus, she be abusing a nigga. Even though I think that she just likes Huey because she finally found a nigga with some fancy ass talk or whatever. Oh, and she just like that she found on with intelligence that ain't ugly. No-homo though. Hell, I shouldn't be talking like this anyways. It's not like it's my problem. If he want to love these hoes, that's his problem.

If Huey heard me say that, he would probably attempt to tell me that Cindy is a hoe. If Huey tried to tell me that, I would probably tell him the shut his gay ass the fuck up with that bullshit before he gets that ass beat. Cindy is an honorary black woman, a gangster, a true friend, a ride or die chick, and she's sexy and classy at the same time. To put it lightly, my girl is bad. But I have to push her out of my mind right now because I have to do these punk ass book reports or papers. They sound like the same thing to me. I head to the computer and what do I see? Yup, you guessed it. Huey's gigantic afro, swallowing that big ass head of his.

"Ay! Get up! I need to use the computer!" I tell him. He looks up at me. He does that stupid ass shit with his eyebrow. I swear sometimes I can't stand his ass.

"No, I'm busy," He tells me as he continues to type like he's the one in jeopardy of failing. He never ever fails.

"So what am I gonna do?" I asked him, folding my arms.

"I don't know," Huey told me in his annoying ass know it all voice, "How about you use Granddad's?"

I grimaced. Granddad's computer was old as dirt and slow as hell. Besides, I was not cool with pictures of Granddad in a thong popping up on that old ass shit. That was just nasty- and homo.

"Hell no! How about you get off that computer, nigga?"

Huey ignored me as he continued typing.

"So you just gonna ignore me?" I asked him.

He still didn't reply. Thus, I narrowed my eyes. After all, in this house, there was always a way to get what I wanted. I looked up.

"Granddad!" I shouted.

"What? Alicia? Get it baby. Shake that booty Miss Keys!" Granddad was asleep- as usual.

"Granddad, wake up!" I yelled out as Huey rolled his eyes.

He walked into the room about ten minutes later. He looked grumpy, but Granddad always looks grumpy. I think he let the hoes get to him.

"What's the problem?" He narrowed his eyes as they surveyed the room, "Nothing is damaged and neither one of ya'll is broken."

"Granddad, Huey is with that hating shit again!" I told Granddad.

"Hating?" Granddad looked at Huey as he shook his head, "Boy, that's just unacceptable!"

"Granddad, I'm doing my homework!" Huey told him as he let out an annoyed voice.

"Well, homework isn't so bad, Riley," Granddad told me. He shrugged, but I wasn't going to give up that easily.

"But Granddad," I acted all dramatic and shit, rolling my eyes and letting my voice go up just an octave, "I'm trying to do my homework and all! I can't get the computer when I want to do the right thing and get the education that you fought for me to have because Huey's being a hater? Shit, that's cold mane."

"You were trying to do homework?" Granddad looked surprised, "Boy, let Riley use that computer. This may never happen again."

"Granddad, can't he just wait another hour?" Huey sighed.

"Did you buy that computer?" Granddad asked him.

"Actually, I did," Huey told him, using that stupid gaze.

"Oh, well then, sorry Riley, there's nothing I can do," Granddad looked at me, "You can use my computer."

"Fine," I sulked, "Bitch ass nigga."

"What was that?" Granddad walked into the room as he began to pull off the belt. I couldn't believe I was still getting hit with that thing at age fourteen. _Damn_.

"Nothing," I say as I walk into the room with Granddad's dusty ass desktop. I wait for it to turn on, and the first thing that pops up is Granddad in a purple thong. I tried to keep myself from saying it, but damn, a nigga is only human, "Granddad, you gay!"

* * *

Hate it? Love it? Wanna kill me? Tell me in a review! You know you want to!

Shout outs to:

Paige 1292, MissG2020, and keyks554 (who also added this to favorites!)

And review! Kay! Bye!


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

* * *

"_I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.__" – Cady Herron_

* * *

It was only the second week of school, and I was already losing my valedictorian slot in my class no thanks to Professor Elliot. She hated me. I just knew it, and I couldn't understand why. Normally, teachers loved me, but in this class, she acted like I killed her kid or something. I couldn't even say I hated the class. I loved AP Psychology as a class. It interested me. It helped me understand the way the mind worked, and even though I would never admit it to anybody, I wanted to see why I acted the way I did sometimes. I just wanted to comprehend myself, but that's stupid. Right?

And speaking of stupid, I was sure that's what Huey thought I was. He had to hate my guts right now. His eyes never looked my way, but I could feel how angry and annoyed he was with me. I couldn't stand being so close to him. He made it easy to remember the old Jazmine. I shuddered. Even Huey hated her. Nobody liked me then. I was too strange, too lame, too average, too complacent, and much too naïve. Plus, Huey had this way of making me feel really stupid, and I hated feeling that way. But that wasn't new, I hated lots of things lately.

I looked up to finally see what new assignment was on the board. Our first research project appeared on the black abyss called a chalkboard. I looked over at Huey, who looked at the board before narrowing his eyes. I took a deep breath. Okay, I wasn't crazy. Clearly, I was in over my head. How could I handle this? I hadn't talked to Huey in over about four or five years. This wasn't television. I could not just walk up to Huey and say some random words or something. I dissed him. I walked away from our friendship, left it behind. Plus, I was freaking out in my head. The panic button had gone off, and I was sure that I would pass out. Then, I noticed Huey's lips moving. I sighed, wanting to smack myself. I just knew that I had proved my stupidity.

"Look, I just want an A," Huey turned around in his seat to look at me, "Can we just do our work together?"

"Huey, I don't know. I mean, to be honest. It's-"

"It's what, Jazmine?" He asked me, his voice tired.

"It's hopeless. It's too complicated for you to understand," I told him, crossing my left leg over the other.

"Jazmine, let me spell this out for you," He looked at me as he lowered his tone so that it would scare the living shit out of me, "If you and I don't do this, Professor Elliot is going to fail you and give me a passing grade that's not an A. And if I don't get an A, then I might break an assault law."

It worked. I was scared now. If Huey said something, he meant it, and I was in no position to get assaulted at the moment, "Fine."

"So I take it that you're doing the project with me right?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I take it that you're right," I whispered but looked forward. I didn't want anybody to know I was talking to Huey.

"Who? That desk in front of you?" Huey smirked.

"Huey, come on! You should know how things worked out by now," I told him as I spun around in my seat, "I can't be seen talking to you!"

"Right, Jazmine," He looked at me, "Who made that rule up?"

"Huey, really, cut it out!" I hissed back at him while I tried not to laugh. We used to bicker like this when we were younger, and he still acted like the ten year old Huey I used to hang out with every day.

"I forgot that it takes a lot of work to be a bitch," He told me before spinning around in his seat. His face didn't even change when he said it, "Sorry."

I turned around in my seat. I had a red face. Huey and I only talked for a couple of minutes, and now, I felt awful. He thought I was a bitch,and knowing Huey, he wasn't sorry. Then, I shook it off. After all, everybody else called me a female dog. Why was it so surprising to me that Huey did the same? After all, I was a bitch. I wasn't pretending. I hated to look at myself. I wondered how other people saw me. I wondered if I would ever figure out anything on my own. I wondered if at least one of my parents would bring my some food and cash. I didn't think I could go another night without any more of it. I wondered why everybody in this school thought I was better than them. I was way worst off than a lot of them thought.

My parents hate each other now. I wasn't surprised about that. Honestly, after the Usher incident, I thought they would call it quits. I could have lived with that. Really, I wouldn't have shed one tear if they had come together and made up a plan so I would be taken care of. I sighed as Professor Elliot wrote the work on the board. She, in turn, shot me a dirty look and told me to see her after class. Did she really hate me that much? I think back to my empty household. They haven't even been together since my freshman year. I thought that my own father, Tom, would at least provide for me, but my parents got so wrapped up in one another that they forgot about me. I guess I couldn't blame them. I'm not the greatest kid on Earth to come home to. I just want somebody, as corny as this sounds, to come home and love me. I don't care that I'm sixteen years old. They can yell at me. They can make me do chores, but I need somebody around. My parents are always gone on "business" for weeks at a time. I know the truth, though. They just can't be around me. And the house I live in is a reminder of the failed marriage they had.

I notice the bad feelings building up in my stomach and decide that maybe I should change this sad subject. Nobody wants to hear the life of depressed Jazmine Dubois. However, I do have a party to attend this weekend. That's good. Kevin and I are going, of course. Plus, Tasha is spending the night over my house. At least, that's what she told her parents. Who knows where she'll actually end up? Plus, it's hard to have her at my house. I think having Tasha over is even worst than having an empty house. It's really hard not to confront her about cheating on Kevin, especially when she's trying to pry on our relationship.

Hopefully, I'll be too drunk to really care.

* * *

We're jumping this new nigga into our gang. That's right. I did it. I'm the head of the Bloods and the Crips. I've been a fucking gangsta since the day I was born. I never denied it. I embraced that shit. I've got real tattoos all over my chest so Granddad can't see. We're on that gangsta shit. Always have been, and we always will be. Being in a gang ain't not game. It's a lifestyle. You can't keep running back and forth in the streets calling names and say you a gangsta. What the fuck is that shit?

If you're going to call a name out, it had better be the right one. And more importantly, you'd better be prepared to back that shit up. Hell, you walk on my block and might get shot up. I have no fronts to put up. I'm all Riley all the time. I'm smart as fuck, and I do what the fuck I want to do on my own time. Bitches, hoes, pimps, they all admire me, but do they all have my admiration? Hell, no they do not. I'm Young Reezy. When I was eight, I had that game. Now that I'm fourteen, I'm done playing.

You play around my hood, and you may get shot. Playing isn't cool. Hell, I was gangsta for an eight year old, but I had no idea what the normal fucking rules are. I talked too much shit. I would've gotten my ass kicked with the dudes I roll with. Huey tries to tell me I need to stop, but I don't listen to him. I never do. What does he know? I've been living like this for a whole year, and I already run this shit. When I walk in a room, well known gangstas like me part to let me through.

I don't give a fuck what people at this damn high school say about me. They think I don't hear the whispers they spread like they're waterfalls? I do. I just don't care. As soon as I turn to look at whoever said it, they'll just bounce. I know who's real and who's not. Hell, that's one thing that gay ass nigga said that was right. The truth hurts. Being real hurts. I hate to say that, but it's fucking true.

See, you can't give a shit about that once you become a real gangsta. You've gotta treasure more shit. And all that illegal ass shit folks be whining about? Pshhh! Take that on somewhere. I don't want yo punk ass in my damn gang because we're about to do all of it. We're classy too. We do community service. We clean up the neighborhoods. The police and us? We're cool. It's all a part of the hustle. People hand us the money, and we don't share it with just anybody. They can either get in the cut or they can get cut. Either way I'm going to get what I want.

I ain't no punk. I can fight fair. Don't try to play me. I won't try to play you. But if you want to get on the kid shit, it better be strong as hell. I'll instantly squash that sort of thing. Huey hates it when I talk like this. I know it, but I don't care. He's probably with Arielle ass right now. Heartless bitches? Mane please, Arielle, ain't even worth me speaking of. I wonder how long I can afford to live this way.

I have a feeling that I'll have to get out sooner or later. But how do I do it? I don't understand why I gotta live this way just to feel like shit. I wonder why I gotta jump this nigga so he can feel so damn empty, like this shit ain't worth it? Is it? Damn, I don't even know. I'm punching this nigga to welcome his ass into a gang. That makes me angrier. My damn gang inducts this nigga by making him bloody and weak. Then what? He works for us now? We're all supposed to be brothers? I don't buy that shit.

This nigga shouldn't but it either. I beat his ass harder. I want him to say stop. I want him to cry so I can laugh and tell him that this ain't the life for him. I don't want him in this type of life, but this nigga is like my bitch ass brother Huey. He ain't scared for shit. He gets up and dusts himself up. Damn, he's hard. I can't even say he doesn't have the balls. He does. I stop fighting him. I stop wondering why the fuck I'm beating his ass.

This a business. I can't let my emotions get in the way. I sound sentimental and shit. Instead, I narrow my eyes at him. I hope to scare the living shit out of him. He doesn't crack at all. Everybody participating in this moment looks at me, eyes wondering. I look back at them, at that damn kid. I wonder what his name is. I wonder why I already give a damn about the nigga. He ain't my problem. But deep down, I get that damn feeling that he is.

I want to ask him what his name is, but I can't. That would make these niggas start hating. You don't want a hatin ass nigga gang on one dude. That's bad, real bad. I've seen it happen. They started fighting against him. I have to keep my interest at bay. I can't let people see how impressed I already am with dude. I keep my poker face on.

"Welcome, mane," I hold out my hand.

He looks down at it and turns away from me. He shakes hands with everybody else in my crew.

I don't know whether to cheer for his ass or beat his ass all over again for being so goddamn bold.

* * *

I love my boyfriend. I do. He's everything I said I want in a guy. Well, I never pictured the afro, but I do. I love the way he acts. I love how his eyebrows raise sometimes. I love how his lips perch when he talks. I love Huey. I, Arielle Nordstrom, love Huey. I just wonder if he loves me back. He never even seems to pay attention to me sometimes.

Now, before you roll your eyes and go, "Isn't she supposed to be hard?" Think about this. I'm a girl. I may not have a lot of toleration and patience, but I still want love like every other girl. I enjoy being spoiled. I like getting cards, as long as they emphasize my African American beauty. I like roses without the pesticides. You know? I guess not. Huey clearly doesn't get it either. I've been done with my homework for hours now, and because of Professor Elliot, he's still doing homework.

"Huey," I say, annoyed.

"What now Arielle?" He sits up on his bed, doing that eyebrow thing that I kind of hate right now.

"When will you be done?" I ask him, twirling a braid around my fingers.

"I don't know. I'm trying to start on this project with Jazmine-"

Oh hell no! He did not just say that. I just know he didn't tell me that he was going to be Jazmine's partner. It had to be a joke. I had to be losing my mind. It was in Canada somewhere. I just knew that Huey had to be mistaken. Maybe he looked at the board wrong. Yeah, that was it. I smiled at the thought. He had just read the board wrong.

"Did you hear me?" He asked, "I'm partners with Jazmine. Does that bother you?"

What kind of question was that? Of course, it bothered me. I hated that damn girl. She pissed me the fuck off. I couldn't even hear her name without getting upset. I should have known that something was up. She looked so nervous in Theater class today. She couldn't even get through her lines all the way. It was just that bad. Now, I knew why. How dare she attempt to steal my man. I shook my head. She already had Kevin, and now she wanted Huey. Okay, maybe I was being irrational. Even though Jazmine has become a super bitch, I knew she wouldn't stoop that low. This knowledge didn't make me feel any better though.

"I heard you," I told him as I looked at his face, "And yes, it does."

"Okay, so I take it that you don't want me to go over there," He told me as though the answer was obvious.

"Over there?" My eyes were bugging out of my head. He was going to Jazmine's house. Now, I really didn't want him anywhere near her, "Huey, have you lost your mind? Have aliens abducted your head? Because, you mean over there towards the door, right? That way Jazmine can walk in this house with me, Riley, and Granddad and do the assignment?"

"No, Arielle, that's not what I meant. You know I'm going over her house," He told me.

"Well, you're not going," I told him defiantly as he looked at me with an amused expression on his face.

"Baby, you're not scared that Jazmine's going to steal me away from you," He began as he pulled me closer to his chest, "Are you?"

Jazmine zero. Arielle one. I looked up at him, "I just don't want you getting attached. I just. Huey I'm jealous okay? Really, really jealous."

He kissed me. I think that counts as two whole points. Maybe if I kissed him long enough, I could make him forget all about going to Jazmine's house. Maybe I could convince him that he belonged here with me.

Huey looked at his watch after pulling away from me and sighed. I already knew the words that were going to come out of his mouth, "I've got to go."

"You can be late," I murmured, getting closer to his lips. I hated this vulnerable feeling he gave me. Sometimes, I felt like I was wasting it on him. My mom told me it was intuition speaking, but intuition speaks when something isn't right. Huey and I are right. We're the only thing that's right.

"I'll see you later, Arielle," Huey told me as he led my hand towards the stairs. He was walking me out of the house?

"Yeah, later," I told him. Then, that prickling feeling at the bottom of my stomach happened again. It was trying to tell me something. I was trying not to listen. I was trying to ignore it. I didn't want to hear what it had to say. I wanted to scream at it. I wanted to tell it that it was wrong, but I couldn't ignore the very words that I asked myself in my head.

_If you're meant to be together, why can you hear me?_

I couldn't logically answer that question.

* * *

I wanted to focus, but I couldn't. The silence was throwing me off. I didn't have anymore homework to do, and basketball practice wasn't until tomorrow. This house was empty. My dad was never home and my sister, Katie, was in her room asleep. I hated that I couldn't be better. I didn't have any job or source of income, and neither one of my parents had dropped by for at least two weeks. I couldn't keep telling Katie they would come soon. I didn't even know when they were coming home.

I wondered how everybody on my team would feel if they saw me right now. Cindy"McFearsome" at home in tears. I didn't know what the hell to do, and I didn't even want to move in with the Freemans. That would hurt Katie. I mean, she was a cool kid, but handling Riley and Huey was hard enough for me, let alone a three year old girl. Jazmine was no option. She had hightailed our friendship's reins for Tasha. And Arielle? I may as well move in with the Freeman's.

I blew into the tissue as the phone rang. I didn't even notice how much I had taken that for granted. I ran to it. Screeching at the voice in the phone. I told my father exactly how I felt since he left me here alone. I told him that I was worried. I told him that I needed his help. I told him that I was scared. I even told him that I couldn't do this without him. I was hysterical. I was in the kitchen throwing things and everything. I was actually "acting white." And after I confessed all of this, nothing happened for a moment. It was just shallow breathing on the other end of the line.

"Ma'am this is AT&T service calling about-"

I hung up the line and sobbed. Today would make it three weeks. This wasn't normal. I hadn't seen from him or heard from him in weeks. And soon, I made my way to the couch, wiping the tears from my eyes. There was a small scuffling sound coming from behind me. I knew it was Katie.

"Cinwy," She looked like she had been crying too. Her small hands were balled into fists. Unlike me, she had red hair. She could be a real spitfire, and lately, I was the one who had to deal with her. She couldn't pronounce my name correctly for some reason, so I let it slide.

"What's up, Katie?" I looked at her.

"I want daddy!" She whimpered as her lower lip trembled. I didn't know what to do. I was not this girl's mother or her father.

"Well, he's not here," I told her as I lifted her into my lap, attempting to keep my own tears from falling.

"But Cinwy! I want daddy! Why can't he jus come home?" Her little blue eyes were filling with tears.

"I don't know, Katie," I whispered to her as I rocked her back and forth, "I don't know."

"Is it my fault?" she looked at me with the big blue eyes as wide as saucers, "Daddy left cuz of me?"

"No, Katie, you weren't bad," I told her as she began to sob into my chest.

We stayed that way for a while. Soon, I was crying too, and I didn't feel as bad. I didn't feel so weak. I just felt the need to let it all out. I looked over at the phone before checking out our monthly bill of three million dollars for this mansion. I felt like crying on the inside. I couldn't wait much longer, and soon, something would have to give. The tears rolled down my face as I realized that in another two weeks the company would have to cut off our lights. I had to figure out a way to survive without any help. A teenage job wouldn't give me three million dollars. The phone rang in the kitchen, but this time I didn't pick up. I let the bill collector's voice ring out into the room before turning on the T.V. as my sister's sobs slowly dwindled. The rain outside told me that these tears only preceded the ones to come.

* * *

I hate the rain. Bad stuff happens all the time. I tell everybody that. I wouldn't be Huey if I didn't, but that doesn't keep me from hating the water as it falls from the sky. My pants are already wet as I walk towards Jazmine's house. On top of this, the wind is blowing, so this umbrella in my hand is useless.

Personally, I blame George Bush for allowing global warming to go on for so long that it's irreversible, but whatever, this rain has nothing to do with global warming. Or does it?

I scowled as I walked towards Jazmine's house. I was actually relieved to be on her porch for once in my life. I waited silently for her to open the door after I ring the doorbell. I looked for her parents' cars, but I didn't see them. All I saw was hers. I sighed impatiently. If Jazmine didn't hurry up, I would get really pissed.

Luckily for her, she opened the door and let me in.

The first thing I noticed was how silent the house seemed. I knew that Tom and Sarah weren't home. You could hear their bickering from miles away. When we were younger, Jazmine used to tell me how she felt about it too. I had told her to get over it; it happened to everybody. But as time went on, her stories involved a little more action. She told that her parents would throw things at each other. She told me that they would talk about leaving. I assured that this would never happen. After all, Tom was a bitch. He would never leave his daughter. I shook off the feeling about what happened.

"So what do we have to do?" Jazmine looked at me. Her hair was in a ponytail, no makeup or anything and she was wearing sweats and socks. I was relieved that she wouldn't tap those heels again. I would love to just throw them into the ocean.

"According to the syllabus," I lifted the sheet of paper, "We have to choose our own experiment that shows how we as humans effect each other's minds. Did you even read this, Jazmine?"

She looked at me as she rolled her eyes, hand on her hips. If her attitude wasn't so revolting, it would have been funny. Right now, it was getting on my nerves.

"I don't think that's an answer, Jazmine" I looked at her before heading up the steps.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" She looked nervous even though I could tell that she was _trying_ to look angry, so I didn't get that mad.

"To the computer room?" I looked at her with my raised eyebrow after I turned around. I was on the third step, "It's still up there isn't it."

She nodded as if relieved, "Yeah, it is."

I walked up to the computer, and peeked into her room from the corner of my eye into her room. From the looks of it, not much had changed. Well, except that there was much more clothing and makeup everywhere. It felt a little strange without Tom there to supervise. I guess there marriage was finally taking its toll. I sat down as Jazmine came up behind me, pen and pencil in her hand.

"So what do you think we should do it on, Huey?" She looked up at me expectantly. She actually looked kind of cute. I shook the cute part out of my head. That's why I had Arielle now.

"Maybe we should do it on the lives of politicians and their use of tone to influence the country," I suggested as I felt something wet on my leg. It was my pants leg. Damn that rain.

"Huey, I don't want to do it on that! People will think we're crazy!" Jazmine shrieked as the pen flew out of her hand.

"Calm down, Jazmine," I rolled my eyes at her for about the thousandth time that day. All these years had passed and nothing good happened in that brain. I looked up from the computer to look at her, "One, you asked me what I wanted to do, so why you're shrieking like a banshee is irrelevant to me. Two, you act like I care about what people think. I'm Huey Freeman. I don't care what's been going in your life lately. That much hasn't changed."

Jazmine narrowed her eyes, "One, I didn't expect that. I haven't been hanging out with you for like three or four years. Two, I care about what people think. I'm Jazmine Dubois damn it. Three, you don't know shit about what the fuck has been going in my life, and even if you did, you don't care. That much hasn't changed."

"Jazmine, don't do that with me. I'm not the kids at our school, and I'm not going to bow down to you because everybody expects me to," I told her, looking into her eyes. I wanted to make sure she understood.

"Nobody asked you to," She told me with a snort as she picked up her pen and began scribbling violently. Her hair started shaking with the motions of the pen.

"Well, fine, what do you want to do our project on?" I asked her, looking at her with the same expression she was giving me.

"Let's do it on how other kids follow one another," She sneered, "Since people are expected to bow down to me and all."

"Sounds good to me," I shrugged. I knew that the fact that it looked like I didn't care irked her even more.

"So let's start shall we?" She asked me as she moved over to the computer.

I looked at my watch. We had been here for thirty minutes and no parents? What was up? It was about seven o'clock. Tom was normally home by then, and I had been by their house long enough to know that much. I hated to ask her this but, "Where's Tom?"

She froze in her tracks. Her eyes grew wide as saucers and narrowed as she shook her head, "He had a trip on business."

I nodded. Alright, that made a little bit of sense, "But where's Sarah?"

"Same thing," She lowered her eyes to the floor.

"Same case?" I looked at her expectantly.

"No," She said as her voice grew considerably softer, "It was at the same time."

"Jazmine, you're lying." I told her nonchalantly, "When you want to talk about this, maybe I'll listen."

She ignored me and pulled out a sheet of paper as we worked on the project. The first thing she did was look at a few pictures of ads for teens. Some were racy. Others were sweet and innocent. She began some sort of chart as I raised an eyebrow.

"Jazmine, what are you doing?" I asked her, getting annoyed with the awkward silence.

"I'm starting a chart based on the correlation between the type of ads and their profits," She told me as she kept right on typing, "How's Arielle?"

That threw me off. I knew that Arielle couldn't stand Jazmine, and Jazmine most definitely didn't care for Arielle, "Why?"

"I just wanted to ask," She shrugged. Then, she paused and looked up at me. She reminded me so much of the old Jazmine that I almost felt the need to educate her about more Black History or something. I don't know what it was, but she had that innocent glint in her eyes that made me remember why I had ever been friends in the first place. I guess the rumors weren't true after all, "Was Arielle even okay with you coming here?"

"Jazmine, you know that's none of your business," I told her stiffly.

"I'll take that as a no then," She shrugged again. What the hell? Nonchalance was my thing.

"What would make you think that?" I told her, keeping the shock off of my face as I glared at her again.

"Because Arielle can't stand me, and we're at our house alone," She examined her fingernails before rubbing something off and throwing it on the ground, "Since you're brutally honest to a fault, I know you told her, and I know she was totally against it. What did you do to get her to accept this? Screw her senseless?"

To say I was shocked was an understatement. Now, she was just pissing me off, "No, unlike you, I don't screw people to get what I want. I explained to her that I didn't want you. All I want is her."

"Good to know," She snarled as I grabbed my stuff and walked out of the room. I had enough of Jazmine for one day.

"Why you're acting like a damn spoiled, pretentious bitch is beyond me Jazmine, but let me tell you something," I got in her face as she flinched, making me feel a lot better, "I don't give a fuck what the hell you think you've been doing these past years. You keep this up and people will think you're fucking for real. You keep this up and every person will believe it. Then, you'll care."

Jazmine was silent, backing away from me, but I wasn't done with her, "As long as we have to be partners this year, Arielle's name better not pass through your lips. All we'd better talk about is this project. Understand?"

Jazmine nodded, her hand on the door.

"I can't seem to hear you," I growled as I got in her face. She looked at me with wide eyes as she realized that I was not in the mood to play with her.

"Yes, I understand," She told me.

"Good to know," I mocked her as I walked out of the door and towards the house.

It was still raining. _Damn._

* * *

Chapter Two.

Haha yeah! That just happened.

Thanks to these folk for reviewing:

Paige 1292, MissG2020, P, WelcomeToTheMadhouse, and KeysK54

Thanks to littlekittylisa, woowoo13, and WelcomeToTheMadhouse for favoriting this!

I feel special! Yay! I just turned 17 yesterday! I'm getting old!

So..Review! Think of it as a birthday present to me! And bye?


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

* * *

"_Here's the deal! I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence." – Ricky Bobby_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Boondocks. I do however own Mikayla, Arielle, and new gang dude with no name for now. Don't sue. Don't snitch. I'm broke._**

* * *

I bit my lip nervously in my last period of the day, Theater class. As much as I loved acting and all, I wanted to get the hell out of here. It was a Friday after all. I was tired, crabby, and uncomfortable. I couldn't even enjoy the escape of being without my crew because Arielle made it her personal mission to glare at me like the spawn of Satan or something. I shrugged. That was Arielle. If I were in her position, I would do the same thing. At least I think I would.

The bell finally rang.

I walked towards the double doors that led to the exit of school. I let out a sigh of relief. No Kevin, Tasha or Huey were in sight. All I had to do was make it to my car, and I could unwind before this party.

"Jazmine!" A gruff voice spoke from behind. I could just feel the two glares behind me. I wanted to panic, to turn away, but that wouldn't work. And honestly, I didn't feel like running.

"What's up?" I asked Huey casually as I tried to maintain my posture in the heels that wanted to kill me. I looked from him to Arielle, who held no type of mercy in her big brown eyes.

"You did remember to do your part of the project," He narrowed his eyes as I rolled my own, "Right?"

"Yeah, Huey," I told him as I spun around, "I'm out!"

Hopping into the car, I drove off. I shook my head at Uncle Ruckus and his unfortunate passengers. Seriously, would that man ever get fired? I thought of Ruckus and his antics all the way home, and by the time I stepped out of the car, I was laughing hysterically at the man. I was a little happy. Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Clang! Crackle! Clang!" The noises came from the doors of my house. I stood there for a moment, contemplating whether or not I should enter. My parents' voices could be heard already, and I was still on the sidewalk. I shook my head as I pulled out the keys and unlocked the door, ducking as the pot flew my way. Neither one addressed me, nor did they apologize for nearly whacking me upside the head with a stupid pot. They just kept on fighting. _Because civilized people do this all the time_, I thought in my head.

"Why are things always so damn difficult, Tom?" I heard my mother cry as I sat in my room, now. I didn't even know why I wanted them here with me. Even now, I was alone. Only now, I was alone and scared.

"Because you made them that way Sarah," My dad shouted as something shattered closer to my room. I winced. That didn't sound good. I could hear the way my mother's heels tapped across the carpet. I wondered when they would stop.

"Look what you did to the computer, Tom!" She cried out as another door slammed. Great, the computer was broken. Now, how would I get Professor Elliot's work done? My head shot up. My project with Huey was on that computer. I buried my face in my hands. Now, Huey would kill me. That was really something to look forward to.

"Who cares about that? You and I aren't working together. My damn innocent daughter is a goddamn slut or something because you can't raise her!" My eyes widened. My daddy thought I was a slut? I could feel the sting of the tears that threatened to fall at any moment.

"It takes two parents to raise a daughter, Tom!" My mom shouted back at him as a plant flew into my room before clattering on the floor, "Don't you dare put that on me!"

"Then, where is she?" My dad snorted. I could hear him walk towards my room, "She's not even here! She's probably sleeping with that Kevin! I don't even like her anymore! Ever since she hit puberty, she's been hell!"

"Tom!"

"Don't Tom me, Sarah!" Tom shouted angrily, "She always wears revealing clothes. She doesn't even talk to Cindy or Huey or even Riley anymore!"

"Tom!"

"And she's always avoiding me!" Tom threw up his hands as he continued to ignore Sarah.

"Tom!" Sarah said as she gestured towards Jazmine's bed.

"What?" He snapped.

"Jazmine's right behind you," Sarah said as she shot him a glare.

I couldn't even believe this. What did they want me to say? Hey, mom and dad, I heard that you think I'm a slut? The tears were falling from my eyes. My own father hated me. He didn't even like me anymore. That hurt. Who could you turn to when your own dad didn't love you? I snorted, not Kevin.

"Jazmine, you weren't supposed to hear that," Tom, my sperm donor, came towards me.

"Really?" I looked at him as I wiped my eyes and washed my face in the restroom, "But I did. Didn't I?"

"Jazmine, look-"

"It's okay Dad," I shot him a fake smile as I took the flat iron and ran it across my hair, "I'm a slut, right? You don't even like me anymore. I'm hell."

"Don't talk to your father like that, Jazmine!" My birth mother told me as she waved a finger.

"But he can talk about me that way?" I rolled my eyes as I touched up my makeup, slamming the door in their faces so that I could change, "Please, I don't think so! The least you could do is take a stand but whatever. Love is dumb as fuck."

"Jazmine, I know you're upset, but cussing is not the answer," I could hear the sperm donor outside of the door as I stepped into the dress. My heels were next. I slipped them on before examining myself in the mirror. You couldn't even tell that I just got through crying.

"Then, what is?" I asked him as I snapped at him, opening the door so swiftly that they fell back in surprise, "I think that you should just get out of my face for the moment, and leave some cash on the counter or something. And I want another computer! This is ridiculous. And donor, I'm still a virgin."

They looked at me as though I were crazy. Maybe I was, but I was hurt damn it! The least they could do was hug me. Do anything! I wanted them to tell them they wouldn't leave again, but they shrugged.

"I'll leave you some money on the counter and another computer too," My sperm donor shrugged as I shook my head.

"Unbelievable," I muttered as I grabbed my phone and purse before heading towards the door.

"And where are you going?" My mother looked at me with a stern expression like I gave a shit, like she gave a shit.

"Out," I simply told her as I walked out of the door and into Tasha's car.

"What took you so long?" Tasha asked me sweetly.

"Don't worry about it," I waved her off as I buckled my seat belt, "Let's go."

"You sure you're alright?" Tasha grinned as Kevin looked at her in the backseat, "I mean you can stay at home if you're not up to it."

I wanted to call her a bitch, but that wouldn't provide me the party. Instead, I told her, "I will be as soon as I get a drink."

"That's my girl," Tasha smiled as she adjusted her purple dress and pulled away from my house.

* * *

I couldn't believe this, but I wanted to go to the Back to School party tonight. I wanted to have a little bit of fun. Every girl deserved it, and all I wanted was for Huey to come with me. I explained to him how much fun we could have, how much it would mean to me, and how I would even wear a dress or whatever.

He, in response, made a face and simply told me, "No, Arielle, I don't want to."

Then, he decided that it would be appropriate to just sit down on the couch and read. Didn't anything that I wanted to do matter? I sulked in silence for a few moments before noticing how completely childish I was acting and plopped down next to him, sitting there. We sat there silently.

"You're angry," He noted as he flipped a page. His afro shook a little bit too, tempting me to stick a pen through his hair like I used to when we were kids. He looked at me for a moment.

"Well," I took a deep breath, "I wanted to go to this party, and you said no, you weren't going!"

He lifted an eyebrow, "I said that I wasn't going, but you can still go."

That was true, but at the moment, I didn't feel like hearing it. I walked towards the door, opened it, and noticed Jazmine getting in the car with Tasha. She lived here? Now, this was actually something worth me discussing. At least, I thought so.

"Jazmine lives down the street?" I made a face that slightly resembles a person who eats sour gummy bears constantly. I peered down the window at her, snorting.

"I thought you knew that, Arielle?" He looked up at me with a look on his face that I couldn't quite place, but I knew him well enough to know that I was getting on his nerves. "What does that have to do with your strange urge to bother me about this party?"

"Because!" I told him as I stomped my foot, "I don't want you around that hussy!" I winced as I said the word. It made me feel old. Then again, I was acting old, right?

"Arielle," Huey's voice was low, "You need to calm down. What do you want me to do? Move? Because I tried that when we first got here."

"Huey," I whispered, feeling bad about bringing it up. I knew that he hated remembering moving here a lot. Whenever I asked him why, he would say it was nothing. But I knew Huey; it was probably something when he said nothing. Even he had a conscience.

"It's okay," He told me as he looked me over, kissing me, "Don't you have a party to get ready for?"

"Of course," I told him as I lifted from the couch with a frown. He was trying to change the subject, "I've got to go anyways."

"Alright," He said as he narrowed his eyes, but I didn't want to bother with this right now. I had to get home. Plus, it was already six o'clock. Before I knew it, I was dashing around the corner and walking into my own door. The lights were out. Just great. I snorted.

I wondered where she was right now. She always had some excuse, and I always put up with it. It wasn't like I was her mother. No, she was my mother, but I had been taking care of her since age three. She made me treat her like the kid. I told her it wasn't her fault, and she blamed me for everything in the process. People think I'm cold? It's the only way I know how to be. I swear crying only makes sense for so long before other people wonder what's wrong, before you wonder what's wrong.

She's probably shivering from the heroin shots or drunk. I shiver too, but not from drugs. I'm not that fucked up. I just hope that she hasn't taken my stash of the money that I keep hidden in my room. I don't trust her. I laugh at that thought. I can't even trust my own mother to take care of me, so what the hell? Who do I trust? I shake my head as I head up the stairs.

"Arielle, is that you?" She sounds meek today. She clearly shot herself in the arm this time.

Something flies across the hall as I jump back in surprise, met face to face with my mother. Nope, she just got purely drunk. Isn't that just great?

I glare at her as she does the same. I jump beack a little from the fierce fire in her eyes.

"I can't stand you," She fumed, "Did you know that you're father left because of you."

I looked at her and gave her a fake dry smile, "Good! You should be thanking me. Especially the way he hit you all the time."

She grabbed me so hard that I fell back against the wall. She was shaking me as her foul breath entered my nostrils.

"Listen up!" She looked into my eyes with her red swollen ones, "You ain't grown yet, and you ain't experienced the things that men have to offer."

"Like what?" I asked her. I rolled my own brown eyes, "A hit to the face?"

She chuckled as she gave me this sick, toothy grin. God, she looked awful, "Love. Good loving that even you haven't experienced yet. One day you'll understand. You'll understand how loving somebody so much can make you allow things you would never let slide."

Didn't she understand that I already did? I wanted to kill her. That was no excuse for giving up, on her and on me! Why couldn't she be the mom that I always thought she would be? Why did she have to act this way?

"And you know what else?" She cut her eyes into narrow slits like a snake's, "I really hate you. I tried to abort you, but it was too late. And I wish for the life of me that I had never followed my heart with you. You're one of the biggest mistakes I ever made, and I wish that you were never born."

That hurt. She had never even said anything to me like that before. At the moment, I just wanted to get out of her view. I'm sure that the feeling was mutual.

"So you just gonna give up?" She shouted as I walked towards my room.

I looked back at her, making sure she saw the one tear that fell down my cheek, "You already have."

"Where are you going?" She sounded concerned now. That was good.

"Out," I told her before grabbing my purse, every wallet I owned and anything of monetary value and walking out of the house. I was done with her.

Finally, I was strong enough to walk away, but was I strong enough to stay that way?

* * *

This party was off the hook! I was live as hell with my boys! My girl, Cindy, couldn't kick it with me, but I didn't care that much. I was having fun without her. It was plenty of fine ass girls here to take my mind off of her. Now before you start saying how wrong I am, let me remind you that I'm Young Reezy! I don't got to answer to nobody. You heard me?

People are everywhere on the floor too. Girls are twerking, dancing on niggas for free. Hell, yeah this shit was too on point. Mane, Tasha Fight may have been a complete bitch, but this party was so crazy that I had to come. Hell, her parties were notorious in the high school land. You had to have a ticket and follow the dress code to get in. There were no fat hoes in sight. Everybody in this motherfucker was the shit. There was no doubt about it.

Then, the beat of the music changed up as the DJ mixed the beat. Everybody hopped from their seats and got on the dance floor. Even I had to lift from my set as the beat played. I didn't necessarily like the song, but it sure pointed out the hoes quicker than me and my guys ever could. After all, hoes love music.

_You wanna see some ass  
I wanna see sum cash  
Keep dem dollars comin  
And das gonna make me dance  
And das gonna make me dance  
__And das gonna make me dance_

Girls were rising from their seats just to sing along. Booty was everywhere, but all I could see was Cindy's face in my mind. What the fuck? I could not be sprung over some girl that I had only been seeing for about three months. That was just crazy.

_Make it rain trick make it make it rain trick__  
Make it rain trick make it make it rain trick  
Make it rain trick make it make it rain trick  
Make it rain trick make it make it rain trick_

All these girls thought they was the shit too. That made it slick funny. They were throwing dollars up in the air, and they wore their stunna shades in the dark. I bet money that one of them would fall in the heels that they couldn't even walk in. I saw Jazmine too. She looked alright. She was with that bitch ass motherfucker. What was his name? Tevin? Devin? Levin? I don't know. That nigga be cheating on her though. I shook my head. Jazmine would learn one day.

_I'm make it rain bitch  
I'm make I rain  
I'm make it rain bitch  
I'm make it rain  
I'm make it rain bitch  
I'm make it rain  
I'm make it rain bitch  
I'm make it rain_

Everybody was yelling the words as the beat kept on playing through Tasha's house. We were dancing throughout the house as booty shaking commenced. We laughed at the freshman who fell out at the sight of upper classmen butt. Somebody waved a dollar over his head. These folks were mad crazy though. I couldn't help it. The music was causing me to shake my butt too- and my pelvis.

"Get it baby," Called, Elliot, a gay nigga from our grade. I immediately sat my ass down. Shit, I ain't gay.

All of a sudden, the hard ass nigga I inducted into the game a few days ago appeared by my side. I pretended to ignore him for a moment. I wanted to think for a moment. He looked at me, head cocked sideways as though he knew something I did. He waited patiently as his eyes drifted towards the crowd, and I couldn't think of a way to break the ice.

"So you just gonna sit there?" He looked up at me with big green eyes, like Jazmine's. What was going on?

"No," I looked up at him, "What about you? Are you just gonna stand there?"

He didn't even waver in his response, "Nah, that ain't me. I'm always on the move."

I nodded. That's how I was, always moving. This nigga was cool as hell, "Note taken."

"Why aren't you intimidated by me?" He asked out of nowhere, a youth to his face there that I hadn't even noticed existed, "Everybody else is."

I laughed. I lived with Huey Freeman. I shot Ed out of a window when I was younger. I abducted Oprah, or I tried to, "I guess life prepared me for stuff like this." I shrugged. He was no big deal to me. Well, he wasn't bothering me.

"Yeah, I feel you on that," He told me as he looked at the dance floor before some girl came up to him for a dance. He shot me the deuces sign, "Peace."

I smirked. Maybe I'd keep that nigga around.

* * *

Katie was finally asleep, and I had somehow managed to pay the light bill and the television bill. The sunshine was gone for the day, and the stars twinkled in the sky. I hated that everything was so bright when everything was so wrong. Something was in the air. I could feel it. I hated it. I wanted to just wake up. I wanted my daddy to walk through the door. The phone rang, but I knew it was nobody important to me.

There was a knock on the door. I reached up, spinning my head around. Could this be real? Was it finally real? Did I finally wake up? I frowned up, covering my relief as I slipped on my shoes and covered my body with a robe. Then, I opened the door. Two cops? Well, that was just great.

"I didn't do it. I'm just an innocent little girl. Now," I looked at the one with doughnut glaze on his seat and made a face, "Can you just go?"

"We're not here to take you," The skinny one said with the stubble on his cheek. He had a southern accent that I couldn't quite place. He seemed new, unlike his comrade. I decided he was okay. He fidgeted.

My heart dropped. When police officers were fidgeting, you knew that something was going wrong in your life. Apparently, everything was going wrong in mine, "Then, what do you want?"

"It's your father," One said, his head lowered as he avoided my gaze. I looked at the other as the other did the same, "We found him."

"Oh," I smiled as I ignored the rational part of my brain that tried to tell me what I should already know, "He got arrested? I can pay the bail if you want."

"No, that's not it, ma'am" The larger officer looked up at me as his eyes widened in surprise, "Are you his daughter?"

"Umm," I shifted uncomfortably now. My brain was practically shutting down. All I could do was nod, "Yeah."

"There's no easy way to say this," The skinny officer looked up at me as his own eyes threatened to water.

I pulled back from him as I grabbed hold to the door frame.

"But you're father," The larger officer grabbed my arm so that I wouldn't fall over, "He's dead."

I couldn't hear anything else they said. I could only hear the last sentence as everything around me stopped moving.

My father was dead, and now, I was truly afraid.

* * *

Arielle and I always fought, but she had never been so immature about stuff before. I explained to her before we started going out that I didn't do dances. I was hard to deal with. She told me it was okay. Okay, that sounds stupid. Women don't always mean what they say. I've learned that the hard way. I saw Tom and Sarah's car parked in the driveway. They were probably spoiling the girl again, knowing them.

I groaned aloud. I really needed to get Jazmine out of my head. She was always there. We barely even talked. Why did I care so much? Didn't I have better things to do than worry about her? I couldn't even tell her the real reason that I hated parties so much. I didn't want anybody to know. It was a stupid mistake of me.

I tried to convince Riley not to go, but he gave me the "hater" speech again. Granddad was sitting next to me too. He was eating popcorn. Well he was eating half of it. The other half was emitting from his mouth as he laughed at the Real House Wives of Japan. They weren't even American. I shook my head.

"Granddad," I sighed as I grabbed my jacket, "Why are you bothering to watch this stuff?"

"I'm bothering to watch this," He looked at me and took a breath, "Because this is my house, and I pay for the television. You and your brother eat up everything in the house. The grapes, the chocolate-"

"Bye, Granddad," I told him as I walked out of the door.

I sat on the hill as I looked above me and into the sky. Then, I leaned into the bark of the tree. Maybe a little peace and quiet wouldn't kill me.

* * *

Alcohol is very nice. People think that drinking is the hardest part of popularity? I laugh at that. Hell no! That's probably the easiest part. Hell, I don't know. All, I can understand is the way the cool substance sends this sensation down my throat. I want more. It helps me forget. It helps me smile again. It helps me pretend that Tasha and Kevin aren't practically fucking somewhere at this party. Right now, all I can do is smile and wave.

"Jazmine?" A voice calls from behind me.

It's Mikayla. She's a freshman, and she's new. I like her. She's a welcomed change to our fake wannabee clique, "What's up girl?"

She makes a face, "What is that? How many drinks have you had, Jazmine?"

"Too many to count," I hear myself slur as she rolls her eyes in what seems to be disgust. Maybe I'm too drunk to tell.

"Jazmine, you will not keep doing this to yourself," Mikayla grabs my arm roughly as I stumble forward, collapsing as my body weight leans on her own body, "This is getting ridiculous. You can barely think straight. Do you want to forget everything about you, about everybody?"

Well, actually, that was kind of what I planned on doing when I was drunk. It had the greatest numbing effect that I was looking for. I sit there for a moment as I realize how sick I feel. Damn, this sucks, "I don't think you understand, Mikayla. I can't do this. I'm not you, and you? You don't even understand me."

She laughed as she held me tight, not letting me fall, "But I do know you, Jazmine. I'm not fake or green like some of these girls around here. It takes more than Tasha batting her eyes at me to bend at her whim. I'm Mikayla. She can be without me or with me." Mikayla shrugged.

I blinked. What did that have to do with me?

"But you," She leaned so that my back was against the wall. She pointed her finger at me as it waved, "You're different, special."

"I'm not," I slurred, "You're a freshman. I'm a junior. You just look up to me."

"And?" Mikayla glared at me as she shook her head. She gave me a glance over, "Maybe I do, but you are special, Jazmine. You're loyal, sweet, a damn good dancer, and a fucking amazing actress. I don't understand why you let T-Rex over there bug you."

"Mikayla-"

"No, I'm serious," She looked at me as she flipped her long, straight hair over her shoulder, "I mean you're pretty perceptive too. Maybe you're not as perceptive as I am, but you've still got it. You made mistakes to get here, to this."

I couldn't say anything. Did I want to? I shook myself a little.

"I don't think that," I protested weakly as I averted my eyes from her piercing golden ones.

"You do," She poked me again, "And you're better than that, Jazmine. You keep on letting them treat you this way. That's your fault, Jazmine! It really is."

"And how is that?" I slurred as I reached for the punch bowl. Mikayla smacked it down, leaving a light but noticeable mark on my hand.

"People will only do-"

"What I allow them to do," I shot her a look as I stumbled towards the punch bowl.

"Well, you're allowing too much," Mikayla said as she gestured towards Tasha and Kevin going upstairs, "Why are you with him? He makes you so angry."

"Because I love him," I told her as I looked at the carpet on the floor. I moved my foot from the condom that threatened to come into contact with my toe.

"No, that's not love," She snorted as she looked me in the eyes. Her gold eyes darted wildly around me as she leaned in. I already knew what she was going to say.

"That's hurt," I finished her sentence. To my surprise, she began to laugh.

"Correct," Mikayla told me, "But also wrong, that's also asshole behavior. Seriously, Jazmine? You could do ten times better than him. I would tell you to go for Huey Freeman, but he's taken by Arielle."

I choked. No, there was no way that she could see me with Huey. God, nobody had told me that in a long time. I couldn't breathe. I needed oxygen supply. I needed a blood transfusion. I was out of it. I was hallucinating because Mikayla didn't just tell me that. I shook my head, "What would make you want me to go for somebody like him?"

"Somebody like him," Mikayla poked me again as she placed me back against the wall, "Would be real with you, and he most definitely wouldn't have you in a position like this."

"Well, whatever," I heard myself say the words faster than I remembered, "He's with Arielle."

"I doubt they'll last long," Mikayla chuckled as she examined her nails, "That's just trouble waiting to fester. Kind of like you and all this alcohol. The way you're living."

"I know you're wrong," I told her as I flipped my own hair, "Huey and Arielle are perfect together. They think exactly alike."

"Thinking alike doesn't guarantee love, it just provides you with understanding," Arielle shook her head at me as she cocked her head sideways, "And just like you and Kevin, Huey and Arielle are all wrong."

"Mikayla, just drop it," I backed away from the wall as I stumbled to my imminent doom, "You should go party instead of hanging out here with me anyway."

"Fine then," She grumbled as she looked from me to the punch bowl I was aiming for, "I'm here if you need me. You know that right?"

I nodded as she walked onto the floor, dancing with some guy from Riley's area. I didn't know him. I guess he was new or something. I just felt like I had met him before, somewhere. I shook it off. I could have been wrong. That could have been the alcohol speaking to me. I looked behind me before I excused myself to the punch bowl.

"Babe!" A voice rang out. Great, just the person who I didn't want to see.

"What's up, Kevin?" I told him as he looked me up and down.

"Damn, my girl is sexy," He clapped his two hands together. He placed them around my waist, "Let's go upstairs."

How drunk did he think I was?

"Let's," I put my two arms around his neck as I looked deeply into those brown eyes, "Go to the dance floor."

He looked mad as hell, but I felt ten times better, "Alright, baby. If that's what makes you happy."

He led me out to the floor, and despite all of the jokes, I couldn't help but think on what Mikayla told me. I wondered if it was worth it. I bet ten dollars that if I died right now and showed up, Jesus would laugh and point downwards.

"I love you, baby," Kevin crooned as he attempted to lower his hands.

I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes, "I love you too.

I bet twenty that I go straight to hell.

* * *

Yay! I finally updated!

Shoutouts:

Thanks to Paige1292(always the first reviewer btw!), MissG2020, MzMinni3, sapphirecutie, keysk54(not telling), and ShellieB (Where have you been? Lol!) for reviewing. And since MzMinni3 is one of my role models, I want to thank her again! AHHH!

Anyways, thanks Crazy Brunette, Shellie B, MzMinni3, Paige1292 (Go check out this girl's story!), Sapphire Cutie, and iAnneart01 for adding this to your favorites list or alerts list! I feel so loved!

Sorry about not updating, but I could NOT! The login button wouldn't work. I'm back now though. So yeah…

Review people! Bye?


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

* * *

"_I have changed, but all this bad stuff keeps happening to me!" – Alli Bhandari_

_**Disclaimer: I own Tasha, Kevin, Mikayla, Jarod, and Arielle. I don't own the original Boondocks cast. Okay? Good enough for you? I admit it. I admit it damn it! Don't sue. Don't snitch.**_

* * *

I'm so mad now that my girl didn't tell me this shit that I can't even think straight. What the hell? I wonder what would have happened if the girl's daddy had just walked out on her. She would still be at the house with Katie scared and shit. I can't tell her this though. She's a wreck. I wouldn't have even gone to the party tonight or any night had known that she was going through this mess. Damn, I just wish Cindy would have told me earlier that her dad had been missing for two months.

Apparently, they told her yesterday night. The cops came to her door, and she just screamed. The only reason that I even know this is because the cops brought her over here. After all, she can't stay with anybody else, and I know the two cops are uncomfortable by the way that they're standing at the door. Katie, Cindy's younger sister, sat there as she looked around, rubbing her eyes as she ate a lollipop. I took it that she most definitely didn't know yet. I shook my head. I remember losing my parents at her age. Damn, life was fucked up.

I took a good look at Cindy. I loved her and all, but at the moment, she looked awful. Her hair was everywhere. The snot was running down her nose as she sniffled a little. Her blue eyes were surrounded by a pool of red around her irises. She looked so lost that I felt bad for being angry at her for not telling me anything. Her blonde hair was stretched out. I knew that she pulled it when she heard. She always pulls her hair when she's nervous. I wondered where Huey was and prayed that he would stay where he was. His hating ass was not made for situations like this.

I looked at the cops, at Cindy and Katie. They all stared back as I nodded, gesturing for Cindy and them to come in. The big dude with the doughnut glaze on his suit glared at me as he looked at Katie.

"Your kid, man?" He asked as he waved his baton, eyebrow raised.

I rolled my eyes, "That's her sister."

"Oh," He looked uncomfortable again as Cindy shot him her signature McFearsome glare.

"Well," The skinny cop spoke up in his southern drawl. He too glared at Doughnut Cop, "Take care you guys. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

Cindy nodded as Katie looked around after waking up from the influx a sugar that she devoured. She was probably confused.

"Hey!" The Donught Cop snapped his fingers as the rest of us, even Katie, rolled our eyes, "Aren't you that boy that we're looking for?"

What kind of a dumb ass question is that? Any person with a brain would know not to say yes to a question like that. And they wonder how I get away with so much shit around WoodCrest. This police force is a joke mane. Really.

"No," I told him as I looked confused.

"Really, isn't your name Riley?" Doughnut Cop rubbed a finger across his chest like a dumb ass, "Riley Freeman?"

"No," I talked like a proper nigga, "My name is Richard."

"Oh," The Doughnut Cop looked disappointed as the skinny guy practically shoved him out of the door,"Sorry."

"Bye," The skinny cop looked apologetic, "Remember what I said."

"Will do, man. Thanks," I told him as I shut the door, looking at Cindy. I wondered why she had to fucking wince. I wasn't about to kill her. Hell, her dad just died. What the fuck do I look like?

"You okay?" I asked her as Katie, looked at me. She jumped up happily. For some reason, that little girl loved me. I was even" her boyfriend". She smiled up at me as Cindy nodded pathetically.

"Risey!" She jumped into my arms as her red hair draped over my arm like a curtain, "Hi!"

"Hey, Kit-Kat!" I grinned at her as I almost cried for her. She was so happy right now. I wouldn't be able to fucking stand it, "How about you go in the guest room and say hey to Granddad for me, alright? Tell him I'll be up in a minute."

"Okay!" She told me as she flew top speed into the room as I sat next to my girl, handing her Granddad's "expensive good" Kleenex.

"You can cry if you want," I told her as I pulled her into my arms, shocked at how not gangsta I sounded, "It does help."

"I can't anymore, Riley," She sniffled a little in my arms as she looked at me.

"Okay-"

"What the hell is that little three year old baby doing in my goddamn house?" I could hear Granddad from the stairs, "Boy! I know you and Cindy are not-"

"Granddad, her dad died," I shook my head at him as his own eyes softened. He grabbed Cindy's hand as he stooped down like she was Katie's age.

"I'm sorry baby girl," He shook his own head as he looked up at me, "I really am, sorry. I understand."

"You can't understand what I'm going through," Cindy shook her head as she began to shake, her own eyes watering as I could only hold her, "I feel empty. Will it ever go away?"

"Eventually, babe" I told her as we all sat there, me, her, and Granddad.

Then, I guess it finally sunk in because she cried. She let all the pain come out of her and cried. Her eyes filled with more tears as she sobbed into my chest. I ain't no bitch or nothing like that, but you got to understand that my girl needed me. She does need me. I could only pull into my chest as she sobbed, praying to god that her pain would end soon. Maybe it will.

"I just can't believe that he's dead," Cindy whispered.

"I know baby," I shook my head, "I know."

"Daddy's dead?" A shriek came from behind the couch as we all spun around to see Katie in horror. She burst into tears before running away and locking herself into her room.

Shit.

* * *

I hate the damn homeless shelter. It's filled with the biggest low life assholes you could ever find in one specific area. Maybe I shouldn't have stormed out on my mom. After all, her house is safer than this place. I cringe at the smell of them as I walk in. Some of them remember me. A lot of them don't. I snort- that's good. I don't cry. I don't whine. I grab a pair of sheets and lay down.

When I was younger, I used to live here. That was before my mom met my dad. He was a business man, a respectable human being. That's what it looked like on the outside. At home, he was a monster. He and my mother, they would always fight. It didn't even look like they would stop. At first, it was just yelling. My parents would play it off as a simple "quarrel" or "mommy and daddy just had a disagreement", but even then, I didn't buy it. Then, as I got a little older and started going to school the fights would progress. They weren't even bothering to pretend to love each other anymore. When I walked through the door, I had to remember to duck because all the silverware was being thrown into the air. I have the battle scars to prove how I learned that lesson, the hard way.

Then, when I hit middle school, things spun out of control. They weren't verbal fights. They were physical fights. My mom would scream in the middle of the night. She would cry out for help that even I couldn't give yet. I remember seeing the way they argued. My mom would scream for him to stop as he would take his palm and back hand her across the face while he called her a bitch and a slut. Sometimes, he would kick her, or worst of all, pull out a knife and cut a small piece of skin. When I tried to save her one day, she let him attack me. She allowed him to take that belt and beat the essence of my soul out of it. I hated it. I hated my own father, but I hated her a little that day. She grabbed a belt and beat me too. I tried to help her. I only wanted to help.

She couldn't see that, though. She only saw love that my dad would never give. Afterwards, they would always return to a limited state of "normalcy", whatever that was supposed to mean. They would be like newlyweds one day and wrestlers the next. Neither one of them gave a hot shit about the fact that I cried myself to sleep at night. They only cared about the other, not me.

My dad left her. I thought that she would get over it. I thought that she was stronger than that. Instead, she sat there and cried. First, she ignored me altogether. After a long time, she began speaking to me when necessary. Now, she admitted what I knew all along. She hates me. She did drugs even then, but now that my dad was gone, I had to get the groceries. I had to take care of myself. It was hard too, but luckily, I did it. Even if I wasn't always proud of the costs, I survived.

My mother, however, crumbled.

Soon, she became an alcoholic and a bully. She made it her personal business to come kick my ass every single day. However, in the eighth grade, I convinced Huey to teach me a few martial arts moves, and since then, she flinches whenever I get into stance. She was more violent with the alcohol, and sadly, I liked it better when she was on heroin because she acted nicer. It felt nice that she wanted me around- even if she was just using me to survive. She would beg me for help. She would promise me that she would change, even bother to tell me how sorry she was. As pathetic as it sounds, I bought it every time.

As much as I want to say that I don't feel bad for walking out on my mom, I do. She's my mom, and I love her. I can't, however, remain in that goddamn environment anymore. I just can't do it. And before I know it, I'm crying. I, Arielle, am crying. Now tell me how much since that makes.

"I can wipe your tears away, honey," A perverted old man with a disgusting tone moves his hand to touch my back as I pull away.

"I'm fine," I glare at him.

"You don't seem fine," He tells me as he comes closer, his grip significantly tighter. Nobody is around. Damn, I'm slipping.

"Is there a problem?" A boy comes from behind me with long dreads. Even though he's wearing them, I can't help but note how strong and muscular he is. Why the hell did I ever say I hated dreads? They look amazing on him. His eyes fall on mine, and I swear that my heart starts racing. What is this?

"No," The man releases his grasp on me as he retreats to the nearest corner.

"And who are you supposed to be?" I roll my eyes at him as I sit back on the bed, "Prince Save a Hoe?"

He laughs at me, "Fine, I can call him back so he can continue."

"What?" I feel queasy, "No thank you."

"I'm Michael Caesar," He offers his hand, but I don't take it. If I love Huey, why do I feel this way about this random guy that I've never met before? I don't know, but I don't like it. That's why I really don't want to take his hand. I'm scared of what I might feel.

"I'm Arielle," I say stiffly.

"Well," He cocked his head sideways, "Are you from Brooklyn?"

"Originally," I chuckled as I stopped crying, "Everybody there goes-"

"Brookllllyyyyyn!" Caesar yelled out emphatically before everybody shot him a glare, "Sorry."

I burst out laughing uncontrollably. I couldn't help it. That was one of the funniest things I had ever seen in my life.

"You know you look prettier when there's a smile on your face instead of a glare," Caesar noted.

Maybe a new friend wouldn't hurt. After all, I need as many as I can get.

* * *

Riley put me in the guest room to chill out for a moment. All I know is that I can't stop crying. All I can do is feel bad. I feel angry with my father for leaving me. I want to find him and shake him. But all I can do right now is cry and hate. I hate and cry. I know how extreme that sounds, but that's exactly how I feel. I feel lost. I don't know what else to say or do.

I think I'm crazy. I think that I'm scared of myself. I won't look in the mirror ever again. All I'm going to see is his face staring back at me. He's not dead. He's not dead. I keep trying to repeat the words in my head. I want them to become real somehow. I want to pretend, but I can't. Especially right now in the Freeman's house, I'm crying still. I hate feeling so weak, and I hate the way that Riley looks wounded on my behalf. I hate that the cops brought me here.

Why don't I just leave?

I want to run away from here. I want to forget everything. I want to live it up like nothing bad ever happens. I hate that my mom left me after Katie was born. I hate that she's a stripper in Colorado who wants nothing to do with either of us. I hate that my dad fucking died on me. I hate that I'm crying when my baby sister needs me the most. I hate that I couldn't handle anything on my own. I hate that I want to die. I hate myself. I fucking hate myself. Somehow, some way, this is all my fault. I shouldn't have made him do so much stuff for me. I should have hung out with him more.

Funny, I only cared when his time ran out. I was always an asshole to him. Always. I hated him when he tried to look out for me. I always said hate in place of love. Why didn't I tell him the truth? Why didn't I give him a big hug or tell him how much he meant to me? Why did he just leave me here? I don't understand why he has to die. It's not fair. It's never fair.

Maybe I should be another person. I want to be somebody else. Anybody but me would have it better right now. I'm so weak. Arielle never cries like this. She's way too strong. And Jazmine? She has a day in the shade compared to mine. Her family is perfect and corny and everything. They probably give her everything she wants and then some. Why can't I be anybody but me?

If anything is right in the world, things wouldn't be like this. I'm not supposed to be like this. I was never built to end up like this, but I am. That's scary as hell. I wonder when I'll wake up. I wonder when the tears will stop streaming from my face. My mind screams the answer that I don't want to hear.

_You can't wake from reality, Cindy._

I wish that I could.

* * *

I open the door as I arrive home from my time on the hill and find Granddad and Riley on the other side of the door in my room trying to convince somebody to open the door. They keep lightly tapping on it, begging them to come out. Judging from the small voice that protests after each knock, it's a little girl. Great, my room's been hijacked by some brat. I'm surprised that Granddad hasn't pulled out his belt. I snort in realization. The girl must be white.

"Katie," My Granddad says, "C'mon cutie pie just open the door for ."

"Katie?" My own eyebrows rise in surprise, "What's Cindy doing here?"

"No, my daddy's dead," Katie sobbed on the other side of the door, "You can't tell me what to do!"

That made my own mouth drop. I could hear Cindy sobbing now that there was complete silence for a moment. I knew she felt awful. They couldn't leave her alone right now. Even I wouldn't want to be all alone right now.

"Go take care of Cindy," I looked at Riley who was trying to charm his way into getting what he wanted, but Katie, being the spitfire she was, would not agree at all, "I'll open the door."

"I don't know," Granddad rubbed his chin in thought, "You're not exactly the most sensitive person on Earth."

"Neither is Riley," I pointed out.

"Ay! I don't crush niggas dreams and shit," Riley threw his hands up as he threw me a look, "You the one who told Jazmine that she would die one day because of the chemicals in toothpaste after she came back from her dentist appointment without crying and shit for the first time. And that was a good day."

Why did we have to bring Jazmine into this? I let it go as I shrugged, "I think I can handle this. Besides, Cindy needs you right now."

"Alright boy," Granddad looked at me, "But if that little girl comes out mentally disturbed, Imma beat yo ass!"

"Um-" I looked over Riley's shoulder towards Granddad's frowing face, "Okay?"

The two walked into the guest room as I sat there for a moment. How the hell do you compromise with a three year old for goodness sake? I may be a revolutionary, but I'm not a kid person. How in the world could I do this?

"Katie," I took a deep breathe, "I have candy."

"That's a trick!" The small voice quivered from the other side of the door. It sounded muffled, like she was behind another wall. Great, she was in my closet too, "Everybody knows that!"

"Katie," I sighed, "Please open the door?"

"No!" She shouted.

"Katie!" I rolled my eyes as I knocked on the door again, "Open this door right now, or I'll kick it down myself."

"You can't do that!" The three year old sounded defiant and confident even though she seemed a tad bit sad.

"I can and I will," I told her on the other side of the door.

"You're Risey's bwother?" The girl seemed to be questioning me. I actually thought it was a little cute.

"Yeah," I told her. I hoped she would open the door. I heard one door open. She was out of the closet now, "Will you open the door now?"

"No!" The young girl shouted as I stood up, prepared to kick it open, "You mean!"

"I'm not mean," I told her as I got into stance, "Really, I could prove it to you if you opened the door."

"No!" The girl shouted again as you heard a tiny pat. I assumed that she stomped her foot.

"I'm gonna count to five, Katie" I told her as I got ready to kick the door down with my foot.

"Okay!"

"One-"

"Me no open door!"

"Two-"

"I no wanna" The voice sounded worried now.

"Three-"

"No no no!" The little pats got louder.

"Four-"

The door opened as Katie looked up at me. When had she gotten so big? I hadn't seen her in a little while. Now, she had a red face as her blue eyes watered up. How in the hell could I explain death to a little kid without making her cry? I wasn't her parent. But as of now, she didn't have any.

"Hey, Katie" I looked at her as she looked back, blinking.

Then, she did the thing that any normal kid her age would do. She opened her mouth and took a huge breath before she began to cry. Excuse me, she began to cry very loudly.

"I want my daddy!" She wailed.

"Well, he's not coming back!" I snorted. Then, I realized that this was a three year old girl I was talking to. It wasn't like Jazmine or Arielle when they her age. Okay, maybe I didn't know them then, but she couldn't take verbal abuse like they could.

"Waaaaaah!"

That much was very clear.

"Look," I told her as I sat down on the bed, "I don't think you're daddy would want you crying or anything would he?"

She began to sniffle as she shook her head, "No."

"I'm sorry this happened to you, Katie," I looked at the red hair that flew around her as she pulled it behind her head, pulling it like Cindy does when she's nervous, "It's not easy to understand at your age."

"Why?" Katie asked me as she looked up at me, moving closer to the bed. Her small hands clenched into fists.

"You're only three," I snorted, "How would I expect you to understand this? I barely could."

"No," Katie shook her head in a frustrated manner, "Why Daddy die?"

"That's just life," I told her bluntly, "You live and you die. It's like tag. One minute you're in and the next you're out."

"No fair," Katie's eyes watered, "I want him back. Why can't he come back?"

"People who die don't come back, Katie," I sighed as I helped her climb onto the bed.

"Where do they go?" She asked me.

"I don't know." I told her the truth. I still hated lying to people. Even if it would probably save their lives, I would never lie to a person to make them feel better.

"Did your daddy die?" Katie looked up at me as her blue eyes watered.

"Yes," I told her.

"Were you sad?" Her head was against my chest now. Her breath was slower. She was scared. Everything wasn't constant anymore. Nothing would ever be the same. She would be fighting an internal battle with herself that she may not win.

"Yeah," I told her as she looked up at me with those blue eyes and red lashes.

"Did you cry?" Her voice was in a light whisper that was so hard to hear that I thought I imagined it for a split second.

"Yes," I looked at her as she began to let the small droplets of water fall from her eyes, "It's okay to cry. I was sad. You're sad. It won't go away. You'll always miss him. He's your daddy, but he's in a better place."

"Heaven?" She asked me with innocent eyes with such light that I had to go back on my word. Just this once.

"Yeah," I nodded my head, "He's there."

"Oh, so he can see me?" Katie smiled up at the sky as she wiped her tears.

I nodded.

"Well, can I have a minute awone?" She asked me as her pronunciation wavered.

"Will you lock the door?" I raised my brow.

"No." She looked me in the eye like she meant it. I nodded.

"No problem."

No sooner than I turned the corner did I hear a voice. It was Katie.

"Hi, Daddy" I saw her on her knees, praying, "I just called up there to say that I miss you, and I'm sad. I don't reawy understand why you had to go bye bye. I love you so much and Cinwy does too. Daddy, heaven is good, but me and Cinwy are too. I'm mad at you for leaving me here all awone. I hate that you won't come back to me. Who's gonna read me stuff? Who's gonna help me reach the ceweal box when Cinwy won't pick me up to get to it? Daddy, I need you. So if you can hear me, just call me back and tell me that you love me a lot. Please? I don't want to make you upset either, Daddy, but I won't be able to stop crying for a little bit. Don't be mad. I'm sorry, but it hurts my tummy to know that you aren't gonna be here. And tell Jesus and Noah I said hi for me. I love you Daddy. And me and Cinwy will be there one day. Then, you can help me weach the ceweal box. Amen."

Even though I didn't necessarily believe in a higher being, that didn't mean that I lacked a heart. That was by far one of the cutest, saddest things I had ever seen, and before I could stop it, a small tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away.

"You can come back now!" A voice called.

"You done?" I looked at the small girl in my bed dozing away. The phone rang four times as she slept. A chill ran down my spine as I heard the voicemail.

"I love you, honey!" A man's voice rang down the hall, "Wrong number. Katie?"

"I love you too, daddy." The small girl grinned in her sleep.

I looked up towards the sky. Maybe somebody was up there after all.

* * *

By the time I walked in the house, it was empty again. There was no trace of a mess anywhere. It wasn't even like my parents had been there at all. There was a new computer in the room across from mine. There was cash on the counter, and when I checked my bank account there was money to last me for years in there. I didn't know whether to embrace the silence or not.

Maybe I wouldn't have to. Turns out Tasha was staying here tonight. I rolled my eyes as I lay on the bed. My poor queasy stomach was paying for all the alcohol that I drank at the party tonight. I didn't say this aloud, but I secretly hoped that Tasha would leave. I would rather have my mind on the brink of insanity than share this house with her. That seemed selfish though. I always seemed selfish because I am.

Honestly, Tasha should be out of this house after what she did with Kevin. I still hate her. I can't stand her, but in a way, I know I cannot judge her. I'm a fake like her. I'm not real. I am a copy, unoriginal, artificial. I hate the fact that I refuse to stand for what I believe in. She does it for the sake of what is cool. I do it for the same. I hate myself for allowing myself to be this way, but what choice do I have? I would rather have fake adoration than none at all.

I look in the mirror at myself. I don't know what I see anymore. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't think I'm Jazmine. I look beautiful to others, but all I see is a monster. All I do is destroy everything. My parents, my real friends, myself? I'm self-destructible. I'm the big red button that everybody warns you not to push. I wonder why I'm okay with that. I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe if I hide in this bathroom long enough, I can figure it out.

"Jazmine?" A knock interrupts my thoughts. Good job, Tasha. You always find a way to ruin something.

"Yeah?" I answered her, wiping the makeup that covered my face onto the towel and off of my face.

"You coming out?" Tasha asked me. You could hear her nails clicking on the door. I rolled my eyes again. How about asking me if I was okay?

"In a few minutes," I called back as I put the tingling moisturizer on my face. I sighed. It felt nice.

"How about now?" Tasha asked me as I ignored her, continuing to clean my face before tying my hair up in a bun before opening the door so swiftly that Tasha nearly fell over with her fist still in knocking position.

She looked at me with her own hazel eyes. She was taller than me, really. Her long black hair around her shoulders and her revealing dress showed me what neither one of us would ever say aloud. I didn't look any more decent just a few moments ago. Maybe my dad was right. Maybe I am a slut. I look at Tasha who doesn't say anything else to me. She just stares at me as though she can see everything. Maybe she can. Maybe she can finally relate.

"What the hell do you have on?" Her eyebrows lifted as her hazel eyes twisted in disgust. She opened her mouth and began to laugh, "Oh my god Jazzy D! That's ridiculous."

I hate that stupid nickname. It does sound kind of catchy or whatever, but when it comes to describing me, it sounds corny and artificial. Maybe it does describe me.

"What?" I look down at my monkey pajama shorts and my matching monkey t-shirt.

"You wear pajamas?" She laughed even more as if it were the most comical thing she had ever seen, "Oh man! I should really take a picture of this, Jazmine."

"Whatever," I chuckled myself until she pulled out a camera and snapped a picture, "What the hell, Tasha?"

"Don' hate the player, Jazzy D!" She gave me a wink before going into the room with the computer in it.

Oh my god.

"What are you doing, T?" I asked her before seeing her upload the pictures to every social site on the web.

"Uploading this!" She squealed happily. I could honestly beat her ass and never give a fuck.

"Tasha, that's low," I shook my head.

"You know what, Jazmine?" Her own eyes narrowed. I swallowed as she came towards me. She looked angry, "I think you've gotten too high on that damn horse of yours. Don't forget why you're even half the shit that you are now."

"The shit?" I repeated angrily.

"The shit," She reiterated as she narrowed her own eyes, stepping closer to me, "As in the shit that comes out of a cow's ass? Without me, you're nothing, Jazmine. Don't forget how you came to power now. You have the potential to be the greatest, and I'm going to help you do that."

"By humiliating me?" I stomped beside her, "Tasha-"

"Shut up, Jazmine," She rolled her eyes, "Do you want to be the next Tasha Fight or not?"

"Yes but-"

"Then move on, sister," She grinned in my face, "You have only what I'm giving you. You have nothing without me. I'm Tasha Fight, and I do what the fuck I want when the fuck I want. You crossing me is like ending any purpose to your existence. Do we understand each other?"

I didn't say anything. I only watched her walk towards my doorway before she spun around to face me.

"Good," She told me as she handed me a pillow and a blanket. I gave her a confused look, "Night!"

She slammed the door in my face and locked it as I walked towards my parents room and locked the door before letting myself cry. I shouldn't be doing this. I should be beating Tasha's ass.

She locked me out of my room.

* * *

And chapter four is here! Please don't kill me!

Shoutouts to:

Yay (first reviewer), Paige 1292, MissG2020, MzMinni3, iAnneHeart01, danni723, keyks554, and ShellieB for reviewing on this story!

Special shout-out to danni723 for favoriting this, adding this to her alerts..etc.

I appreciate all the love! Please review, and if you have not, please start! Haha! And be on the lookout for Chappy 5! Alright? Bye?

Annnnd Review! Haha bye byyyye!


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

* * *

**_Disclaimer: I don't own the original cast. Don't sue. Don't snitch. I ain't got no money. Stop hassling me!_**

* * *

_I thought that I would outgrow this feeling. It seems my dream won't go away, so it's more like a nightmare. I gotta be famous. -Jazmine Sullivan_

* * *

It had been a month of Professor Elliot's class, and I was already slipping. My grade was a 75, a point away from a D. I was scared, to be honest. Never before had I been so scared that I would fail. It wasn't that I didn't know any of the material. It wasn't that I didn't ace practically every test. I did all of that. It was the fact that she "accidentally" didn't e-mail me the assignments that were about 50% of our grade. Wow, wasn't that purely convenient.

Besides that, my parents threw the computer again by the time she actually did e-mail me my assignment that night, and I knew nothing of it. Not that it mattered, they had thrown my valedictorian slot right down the steps. I shuddered at the thought of them, wondering when they would discover that I was real. When would they wake up and say, "Jazmine exists." I didn't know. I just wanted them to do anything but hurt me more.

Huey was staring ahead of me towards the chalkboard, no doubt still very pissed about the project. I could practically sense his anger on my skin as it radiated from him. He had a B for an average. He didn't care that it was one point away from an A. After all, had I not ruined the project, he would have an A right now. I told him the computer crashed and in response, an annoyed roll of his eyes shot back at me. Now, he wouldn't even look at me. It was scary, not knowing what he felt. I wondered if he would attack me. I flinched.

"I'm not going to attack you if that's what you're thinking," Huey whispered as he glanced my way, "I just don't get why you had to lie about-"

"Lying?" I shook my head as I took out another sheet of paper, "I didn't lie! Huey, it really crashed."

Huey rolled his eyes as he glanced at the board before he glanced back at me, "Jazmine, come on. What else? Professor Elliot emailed the assignment to you at the last minute? We had that for weeks, and I told you about it."

"But she did!" I hissed back at him as I slammed the binder, causing Huey and I to sit up straight as our teacher turned back to look at us before turning back to the board, "And I wasn't-"

"Listening?" He finished my sentence for me, "Oh good job, Jazmine. Because that definitely wasn't something to listen to."

"I made a mistake," I hissed back at him as his eyes widened for some reason, "You didn't have to bother me about anything! And god, I'm sorry about the B! Alright? It's not my fault that Professor Elliot hates me!"

"Jazmine-" He looked at me as he shook his head, but I ignored him.

"And don't say that I'm lying," I shook my head in flat out defiance, "Everybody knows that she hates me. Even you admitted it once."

"Jazmine-"

"If you ask me," I laughed a little, not being able to suppress this one, "She needs a man in her life, preferably one that'll pull that stick out of her-"

"Dubois!" A voice sounded from behind me. I turned around to meet the person's eyes. Great, Professor Elliot had been standing behind Huey.

"Detention for five weeks, Dubois" Professor Elliot looked at me and then looked at Huey with a shrug, "You too, Freeman."

"Me?" He shook his head wildly, "What did I do?"

"Want to make that eight weeks?" Professor Elliot asked him as the class snickered.

"He didn't do anything, Professor Elliot" I tried to tell her, but Professor Elliot simply threw up a hand. Two hands, I mean.

"Ten weeks," She glared at me as I shrank down in my seat, clamping my mouth shut.

"Thanks a lot, Jazmine" Huey whispered, "You may have beat Bush in my list of things I hate, and that's pretty hard to do."

"Twelve weeks!"

I placed my head in my lap. Life couldn't get any worst.

_Next Period…_

It was theater class time. Mrs. Wells had gotten into her drama mode. She spent her time barking commands at the few freshmen who had gotten stuck in this class by some miracle. They squirmed in discomfort as Arielle spoke with a few close friends of hers. Jazmine did have a few admirers in this class that would speak to her, but they were more like associates.

"Everybody!" Mrs. Wells shrill voice sounded as she walked across the stage in her leggings and skirt, looking like another Debbie Allen, "I have a few announcements to make!"

We looked up. Everybody began to silence themselves in hushed whispers of "shut up" and "Who are you talking to like that?" Soon, the room slowly but surely had quieted down.

"Every person in this room," Mrs. Wells looked at me with a gaze in her eyes. It looked disappointed, "Must put effort into this production and audition! Failure to do so will get you a failing grade."

I sighed. This day just got worst. I grimaced as Mrs. Wells continued on as students rubbed the backs of their heads nervously.

"Auditions will begin on Monday," She glanced around the room as she stated the words before looking at me, "And if you don't give it you're all, I'm going to notice."

Luckily, I had detention. Who knew that Professor Elliot would ever help me out?

"Except for Jazmine," Mrs. Wells smiled, "She's going today!"

"What?" I gasped. There was no way that I could act out any scene. Back in my freshman year, it had come to me like a second nature. I could just flow through it effortlessly. Now, the flow, the unspoken stage rules, that stage presence, I didn't have it anymore. I didn't think I could do this.

"Jazmine?" Mrs. Wells shot me a look of annoyance, "The stage is that way."

Scratch that. I knew I couldn't do this.

"Oh," I stalled, "It's just hard to do this without knowing what the play is about is all."

"It's about a lost girl who finds herself," Mrs. Wells held up the script, "She's living in a world that doesn't seem to understand her, so she changes herself rather than her mindset so she can stay strong."

"That," Arielle looked at me with an intense glare, "Sounds familiar."

"Good," Mrs. Wells looked at her, "You should do exceptionally well on Monday, Miss Nordstrom."

The only thing I liked about Arielle was actually her last name, and that was only because Nordstrom is one of my favorite stores. I still didn't like her that much. She and I have this mutual hatred thing going that's occurred way before I got there. As Mrs. Wells continues to ramble about the script, I think back to the day I met the girl.

_June 11, 2008_

_Huey never ever smiles. I've been here a whole entire year, and all he does is sit here and read. I want to leave him alone, but it's hard. He's cute, and when I look at him, my heart starts beating and stuff. When I see him, all I want to do is talk and giggle and smile, but when he sees me, he just shrugs or frowns. Today is a frowny day for him. I hate the fact that he doesn't even like me like I like him. Then again, I am ugly and what did Ruckus call it? Scrancy? Scrawny? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not nice._

_I'm bored too. I look over at Huey, but what's fun about that? He's reading- again._

"_Huey?" I start up with the questions that make him finally pay attention to me, "Where do babies really come from?"_

"_Um," Huey turns a funny shade of red that makes me giggle out loud, "Ask your parents. You are eleven now, even if you don't really act like it."_

_I stomp my feet together as I look at him, "Why can't you tell me?"_

_He shrugs again as I rolled my eyes, sitting down next to him. Then, I realized what he said about me._

"_Hey!" I huff, "I do act eleven!"_

"_Whatever," He shrugs before he goes back to reading that book without any type of interesting qualities. There aren't even any pictures outside of the book._

"_It's hot!" I announce as I fan myself._

"_No," Another voice suddenly sounded from behind me, causing both me and Huey to turn around, "You don't say?"_

_It's a girl. Another girl to play with actually sounds a little fun. I grin as I think of actually playing dolls with a girl that wants to do it. I could talk to her about Huey, and maybe we could have a sleepover. Then we could be best friends forever and have weddings with pink ponies and dance parties and stuff._

"_And who are you?" He says. He looked at her too as she got up, rolling her brown eyes. I sighed. He already liked her more than he liked me. Was I really that bad?_

"_Arielle Nordstrom," The girl tells him as she shakes his hand._

_That's when I realize that I and Arielle won't be best friends. She's pretty. She has brown eyes like that song Daddy sings to me by Cent Condition. And her hair is in braids too. She's a little darker than me too. Her face, like Huey, has a scowl etched upon it. She and Huey are standing there looking at each other while I'm waiting._

"_I'm Jazmine Dubois," I tell her enthusiastically._

"_I don't need to be best friends with you," She warns me with a strange clicking of her tongue, "Girls like you are just weak and defenseless."_

"_Hey!" Huey shoots a look at her, "You don't even know her."_

_I don't even care that Huey is bothering to defend me. The tears are falling from my cheeks now._

"_Oh, I know alright," She looks at me as I trudge down the hill, "She's the crybaby, not me. Besides, it's obvious that she likes you or something. I can't help it that she's not confident or competent in social skills."_

"_Hey!" I turn back around as I march up the hill, my mess of a bad hair day flows behind me, "You can't talk about me like that! I don't even like Huey that way. And I'm not continent!"_

"_Yeah," Arielle shakes her head at me, "You're worst. Say competent, sweetie."_

"_Look," Huey moves his hands, "How about we just start over here?"_

"_She started it!" I point out._

"_Look," Huey leans back against the tree, his soft afro dancing at me, "Let's just start over."_

"_Mariah Carey wannabe," Arielle mutters._

"_What," I ask her as I get up, "Did you call me?"_

"_Mariah," Arielle gets in my face as I back away, "Carey!"_

"_Don't call me that!" I growl as Huey's eyes widen. Is he actually impressed? I don't have time to think because suddenly I'm on the ground. A strong hit to my jaw draws blood, and her long nails scratch my arm. I want to look good in front of Huey, but it hurts so bad._

"_Owwww!" I cry out._

"_Serves you right," Arielle snorts._

"_Come on, Jazmine," Huey shakes his head at Arielle as he takes my hand to lift me off of the ground, "You have to learn to control your anger. That's not healthy."_

"_Whatever," The girl tells him as she takes off the jacket she wore, fanning herself. It revealed her Malcom X shirt. She smiles at him as Huey stares at Arielle._

"_What?" She looks down at her shirt, grinning, "You're a fan?"_

"_Only the greatest men who ever lived impress me," Huey nods, "Loose the temper and apologize to Jazmine, and I might just keep you around."_

"_Sorry, Jazmine!" She flashes me a smile that I don't really think is real, but I stop crying enough to nod and mutter an "It's okay."_

_Then, I walk home after giving them a wave. My mom asks me what's wrong. I don't tell her about how Huey loves Arielle more than me. I don't tell her how I'm crying because I want Huey to just like me as more than the annoying girl from down the street. She would say that I'm only eleven, and I don't know what I want yet. Instead, I show her the scratch on my arm that makes her gasp and ask her what happened._

"_I fell," I tell her as I sit down and wait for that stupid burning feeling that I get when she puts alcohol on me. Huey's right. Life does suck._

_(End of Flashback)_

"Jazmine!" A voice snapped me out of the trance, "What are you doing? Get up on that stage!"

"Sorry, I told her as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, knowing full well that this wouldn't turn out good at all.

Nothing ever did.

* * *

Mane, I'm late again no thanks to my bitch ass alarm clock, and now, my teacher is tripping again, making me go get some goddamn admit to class. What the fuck? Since when do they do this foolishness? Now, they probably gone make Granddad come up here and do a parent teacher conference, bullshit. Damn, he probably gonna bring that old ass belt with him. I wince. I ain't even gone lie. That shit hurts.

Now, this dude with the green eyes is walking towards the office. It's him again. Hell, I might wanna learn this nigga's name. He keep running into me and shit. What the hell is up with this? I feel like I gotta protect his ass or something. It honestly feels strange.

"Ay, nigga!" I yell out, knowing that he would shoot me a look and say…

"Nigga is not my name," He glared at me, "It's Jarod, Jarod D-"

"What are ya'll doing in this hallway?" One of the assistant principals yells. She's ugly too. The only thing pretty about her is hair, and today, even that's lacking. She's wearing these ugly ass shoes too. They look flip flops with a little girls heels attached, her glasses are crooked, upping the lameness that she was projecting upon me. I scowled at the thought. Lame ass niggas are contagious, "Get in the office!"

I rolled my eyes as the assistant principal yelled again, "What are you doing in this hallway?"

I was about to go on off on the dumb bitch until I realized that I was the one in the wrong. She was talking to the girl behind me. Mikayla, she had pretty hazel eyes and long hair. She was the new freshmen cheerleader that already had haters on her jock because she had so much swag on her already. She was a cool ass girl, and I knew that Jarod was feeling her, especially the way that he was looking at her. I ain't say shit though. Hell, I ain't gay!

"I'm in this hallway because my mama dropped me off late," Mikayla looked the woman up and down, "Do you want to go yell at her for that?

"Just go to the office!" She barked at all of us as we flinched. We walked down the hallway hurriedly as she sighed. I hated this damn school.

"I swear," Mikayla looked at me and Jarod, "I can't stand these damn principals. What's with them? Kids being late is what their trained for. It's not like I'm going to blow something up!"

"That's kind of why they're nervous though," Jarod chuckled, "It ain't helping that you're black."

"Whatever," Mikayla tossed her hair to the side, her hazel eyes already rolling at the sight of the office, "Here we go."

The lady at the front desk looked up at me and Jarod, a scowl on her face. She was on the phone as she smacked a purple piece of gum that my ass sure as hell didn't want to see. Plus, she was being loud. I took it from the pieces of shit that used to be pictures, the broken frame in the garbage, and the wads of tissue, that she had broken up with, dumped, tossed like the hoe she is. I hoped he didn't take that ass out to dinner. I rolled my eyes. She sho as hell wasn't worth it.

"No," She was yelling into the receiver, "I would never cheat! Baby!"

"Excuse me," Mikayla tapped the lady and hopped back, her mouth open at the glare that she received.

"I'm talking," The woman shot us all a look, "Can you wait?"

"Mane my teacher gone right me up!" Jarod slammed his fist on the desk, "Again!"

"What you said!" Mikayla rolled her own two eyes, "Look, can you break away from that useless man for a minute so you can write me an admit?"

"No," The lady howled into the mic, "That's a student. No, I'm not. You didn't just call me a hoe!"

"I think he did," I sighed impatiently as I waited for her dumb ass to put down the phone, "Can you just write the goddamn shit of paper?"

"No!" She shrieked like somebody was killing that ass, "I'm not! You know what? You know what? Hello? Hello? He hung up on me!"

"As nice as that really does sound, I just want to get to class," Mikayla yawned.

"Fine," The lady at the desk glared at us, "Names?"

"Mikayla Wright,"

"Spell it please," The lady told her as she rolled her eyes.

"M-i-k-a-y-l-a," Mikayla told her, "W-r-i-g-h-t"

"Riley Freeman," I told her, "R-i-l-e-y and just spell free and man together for my last name."

"And you?" She looked at him.

"Jarod Dubois," He stated, "J-a-r"

Mikayla looked at me, and I looked at Mikayla as both of our mouths fell open. I know full well he didn't just say that. I couldn't even contain it, and apparently Mikayla couldn't either, "Aw hell no!"

"Mane! Maybe he just Tom's cousin!" My brain shouted, but something else was telling me that this wasn't the case. Something told me that my assumption was right.

"Two weeks of detention for each of you plus an admit to class," The lady smirked at us, "Have a wonderful day!"

"Bitch," Jarod rolled his eyes as me and Mikayla stared after him.

"Hey!" Mikayla yelled, "What's your dad's name?"

"Tom," Jarod shrugged wordlessly, "Why?

"No reason?" Mikayla winced as she spoke the words.

"Mane, I don't claim his ass though," Jarod snorted, "That nigga's a bitch."

As fucked up as it is, I laughed. After all, Tom is a bitch nigga.

* * *

I hate walking through the hallways now. Everybody doesn't treat me the same, and I don't blame them. I'm not the same. That doesn't mean that I enjoy the looks of sympathy I get as I walk down the hallway. Half the time, people don't know what to say to me. They don't know what to say, and worst of all, they don't know how to say it.

I feel like I'm letting them down somehow. Maybe I'm letting me down. I don't know. All I know is that everything is moving in slow motion. I feel numb, like somebody has taken a knife and just attacked me with it so many times that I can't feel the pain. Nothing affects me, not even the dropping temperatures.

I wonder what happens. Sometimes, I still think he's here. I can hear the voice that never speaks. Katie is three and she's taking it better than I am. I wonder why I'm so weak and malleable. I stop to rest. I let the tears overtake me. I hate everything. It feels tiresome just to breathe. I'm tired of pretending. I'm so fucking tired of pretending with the smile that stays plastered on my face.

"I'm fine," I smiled as people told me how strong I was. They relied on me, my family. My own whore of a mother didn't even bother to show up for the funeral. If she had, I hadn't recognized her.

It was easier at the time to mask my feelings, but now, it just seems harder. Everything seems harder. I hate to say this, but maybe it would be best for everybody involved if I just died too. I think that would help everybody involved. Maybe, just maybe.

I reach for the pills. I grab a bottle of water. I think of everybody. I think of the people that I love. I think of the only people that I care about. I think of all the great times that I've had. I think of Katie. I think of Jazmine and Tasha. I think of everybody. I take the cap and twist it, setting the container back onto the desk. I begin to cry quietly. I'm too scared. I almost overdosed. I say it again and again, but my mind won't take it in. It won't let it sink in.

I want to live, but how do it without the pain?

_You can't do it Cindy._ The voice speaks in my thoughts that I try to ignore as I lay back on the bed, falling asleep.

* * *

Huey and I had another fight. We've been like this for the past month since school started. As much as I want to blame Jazmine, I know that it's bigger than her. It's bigger than us. It's something that even Huey can't control. I don't know why I'm attracted to him, or why he may be the same way, but I can't help it. I know that it's simply an attraction now, but I don't think Huey does. He has enough going on with Katie and Cindy at their house now.

Besides, I don't think that I love him. He doesn't either, not deep down. Now, our fights are so regular it's almost a routine. Kiss and fight. Fight and kiss. That's our purpose now. After everything that we've been through together, this is what it led to. I hate that we act this way. I hate that we say things that we don't mean to each other. Is this it? Is it over?

Caesar breaks my thoughts as he sits beside me. He doesn't say anything. He just looks me over.

"What's up Queen Icicle?" He hits my shoulder gently, "You like particularly cold on this fine day."

"My boyfriend," I shrugged, "Long story."

"Isn't it always," Caesar shrugged as he paused to take a look at me, "shorter than what we make it seem?"

"It's just that I don't know what I feel," I sighed as I looked up at him, trying to explain, "I don't understand my exact feelings."

"Then, they aren't true," Caesar told me as he thought for a while, "If you don't know what the thoughts mean."

"But-"

"You don't have to understand them," Caesar cut me off as his dreads shook in the ponytail holder he constricted them in, "But you do have to know without a shadow of a doubt that a spark is there."

I paused for a moment. I tried to take in his words as I lifted from the bed. He said that I had to know, but how could I know what I wasn't familiar with?

"I don't think I can," I sounded so weak. This was so unlike me, "It's strange, not knowing. I normally know everything."

"Whatever you say, Arielle," He shot me a look, "Do you know?"

Somehow, that question sounded like a lot more than a typical question. It sounded serious. It sounded like a question that would change everything. Was it worth it? Was any of it worth it?

"Know what?" I asked him as I played stupid.

"What you feel," He smirked, a smile on his face. It was funny how him and Huey were alike, but they were different. I don't know. I don't want to know.

I thought of my mother. I did not come this far to end up like her. I wouldn't be like her. I wouldn't let any man come between me and success. I had to keep it cool. I couldn't trust anyone. I could barely trust myself with my heart.

"No," I told him as I looked outside of the window, "I don't."

* * *

Detention is stupid, not punishment. African American males like myself spend days locked up in solitary confinement for crimes they could not commit. This is injustice, another preparation for the assumed tales of my existence. The least they could do is turn on the air. Even though it's just right outside, it's hot in here. I think that I just might break every assault law made to hold the black males' rights down.

I sigh as I sit down, taking in my surroundings. There is a man in glasses, big and buff. He looks up at me with a growl. He must be in such a great mood. I sigh, signing my name on the paper. He points to some desk with my name on it. Wow, that's very elementary of them. I pull out a book as a loud cough erupts, making me look up. It's the buff man in the glasses. He points to the board.

"No doing anything for fun," It read.

"but this is for class," I told him, hoping that would work.

He holds up eight fingers as he looks at the board.

"Should have thought about that for before coming in here," It read.

I roll my eyes before taking my seat. This is really just great. Just as I think it can't get any worst, Jazmine Dubois herself walks in. She looks so lost that it's almost comical how she fits in with the collection of future gangbangers, arsonists, and underaged mothers of America. It's more like watching a tanned Paris Hilton in a homeless shelter.

She trips as she comes my way. I roll my eyes. Why is it that she and I are always seated next to each other? The man seems to be pointing at another rule. What does it say?

"Don't talk, please," I roll my eyes. Great, I was the one talking even though it was just Jazmine was the one who said it. I sit there aimlessly, taking in the surroundings. People were talking anyways. Why was I such an exception to the unspoken rules that were detention?

"And last night," I could hear a girl with a thousand tattoos and a piercing say, "I could hear the curdling screams of the idiot who dared walk into my backyard with my pit-bull. Ask me if called 911"

I winced turning my ears to another conversation.

"Baby," Somebody was whispering beside me, "I'm kind of in detention right now."

Oh, it was just Jazmine.

"Yes, Huey's in here!" She hissed loudly into the receiver, "Kevin, come on baby don't be like that. He is not a terrorist!"

I chuckled. I was a licensed terrorist, but I didn't go blowing up towers with innocent lives. I just told truths that the government didn't want me to expose.

"What?" Jazmine rolled her eyes as her own orange hair cheating, "You of all people shouldn't be the one talking about cheating right now!"

So Jazmine did know about Tasha and Kevin. I shrugged. It wasn't my problem. At least that's what I kept trying to tell myself. So far, it wasn't working.

"Oh, so I get detention from a teacher that clearly hates me, and you think that I'm cheating?" Jazmine waved a hand in the air, "Kevin, that's bull!"

You could hear Kevin getting hysterical on the other end.

"I'm still a virgin," Jazmine was clicking her nails, "You know that!"

More yelling appeared on the end.

"Kevin, I'm serious. And you know that I'm not ready to-"

The yelling on the end was so loud that Jazmine held the phone away from her, only returning it to say more.

"Kevin, look" Jazmine peeked around her before continuing, her words soft but final, "That's enough."

I looked at the board.

"Fine then!" She shrieked, "Bye, Kevin."

By that time, some girl with hazel eyes and a guy with green eyes like Jazmine's walked through the door. I sighed in relief. At least Riley wasn't here with me.

"AY!" A voice boomed from the doorway, "Whaassup big G!"

The buff man's growling presence immediately lifted from his face, "Long time, no see."

Riley nodded as he smirked at me, "It's amazing that my older brother is in here."

The big buff guy, Big G, looked at me then Riley, "That's your brother? The smart one? Is it true that you're gay?"

The entire class erupted into laughter as I glared at him.

"No."

"Well then," Big G looked at Riley, "Ya'll know the drill. Riley's in charge of you guys until I get back."

Well, that was decent. Now, that the big buff dude was leaving, I could too. I had to work on everything for class anyways. I lifted from my seat as Riley shot me a look.

"Where you going?" Riley scoffed, his expression serious, "You better sit down. You ain't going nowhere."

"Riley, come on," I told him.

"Mane naw," He told me, "Cuz when Granddad left us alone when I was eight yo ass ain't let me go!"

"Riley that was almost seven years ago!" I told him, "Let it go!"

"I'm not letting it go, nigga!" He rolled his eyes, "Now, just sit down before I write some more detention on this shit."

I rolled my eyes as I sat down. I couldn't wait to graduate, and I was still a junior. The girl with the hazel eyes was talking to me.

"Hey," She told me, "what's up with you?"

What was up with me? I didn't know. Arielle and I fought almost every day. I felt tired as hell, and now, I was in this pointless primitive jail cell where Riley, of all people, was the security.

"What do you mean?" I told her examining her. She had long hair and light skin. She wore converse on her feet. She looked up at me.

"You're just always so unhappy looking," She looked up at me, "Why don't you just smile?"

I leaned back in my seat, my face not wavering, "Why should I? The world is a horrible place, and people die without justice. Everybody fights a war that only money wins. Why should I smile?"

Mikayla waved a finger in my face, "You are one jaded cookie."

"I am," I looked at her, "Shouldn't you be talking to somebody cooler or something?"

I gestured towards Jazmine who rolled her eyes in response.

"I'm not scared of Tasha," Mikayla laughed, "She can go on somewhere with that foolishness. That's why I call her T-Rex!"

"Mikayla!" Jazmine gasped, "Come on!"

"Whatever, Jazmine," Mikayla rolled her eyes, "What you need to do is-"

"Ummm," Jazmine pointed in the green eyed boy's direction, "Who is that?"

He looked up, his expression oddly the same, "Jarod, Jarod Dubois"

I sighed. Detention just got a whole lot crazier. I blame Dick Chaney. I bet he's around here somewhere.

It's always Tom.

"What the hell?" Jazmine asked him, "Well, maybe we're just cousins. What's your dad's name?"

"Thomas Dubois," Jarod shrugged, "I don't claim him. He's a bitch."

That sounded about right to me.

"I've got to go," Jazmine got up and walked out, ignoring Mikayla and Riley's cries, but that wasn't what got me.

She left behind her diary, and on the top of it, was a picture of her with me, Riley, Cindy, and Arielle. Why in the hell was everything so random today?

I picked it up and stuck it in my pocket. I would give it to her later.

Riley had locked the door.

* * *

Chapter Five is here!

S/O to:

Keysk554, Paige1292, and ShellieB for reviewing! You are appreciated (Tupac voice)

I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Review! Doo iiiitttt! You know you want to!

And goodbye, for now!


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

* * *

**A/N: Unfortunately, I don't own this. Aaron does. Don't sue. Don't snitch. Etc…**

* * *

"_You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad." –Aldous Huxley_

* * *

It was gorgeous outside. The sun shone as its rays hit the clouds to give the sky an almost heavenly appearance. Squirrels hit the green grass to collect acorns from the ground. Small children in neon colors and heavily advertised rock star clothing made of spandex and old school preps in wool dashed around the playground. Normally, one would say that these things would lead up to a perfect day. And maybe on another day, it would be.

I couldn't believe him. I had a brother. I wasn't an only child, and he called me a slut, a whore! He was the one who was cheating on my mother. He was the one who left at all hours of the night after destroying my house and left my mother to pick up the pieces that she couldn't gather alone. He claimed that I wasn't the same anymore? He sure wasn't around long enough to watch me change. How dare he say that about me. I hate my father. I think that I want him dead.

I finally find my way to the car as people watch the way my new purple heels hit the asphalt, clicking loudly as I storm towards it. I'm fumbling with the keys, fighting to keep the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes. I don't know how embarrassed I must feel or how sad or angry I must be. The only thing that registers is the wet substance that falls from my cheeks. I'm relieved when I open the door and step into the car, ignoring the murmurs and the calls that I know are about me.

I pull into the driveway. There's some glamorous car there that even I haven't seen before. I snort. If my parents, or Tom, think that they're going to win me back over with some stupid car that hasn't come out yet. They have another thing coming. I wipe my eyes and look down at the napkin with I guess that's alright. My eyes are a little puffy and red. And I'm all red, but I ignore that and open the red door that keeps me from the people on the inside.

My mouth drops as my mother hops up , pulling her hands around her even though fully clothed, like it'll protect her. Usher is sitting on the couch, eating popcorn. His mustache makes him look rough and stubbly. Plus, he doesn't really have a spot in my heart like he did when I was ten. Right now, I hate him too. He's just another person who has helped ruin my life. He looks at me, a disgusting slow smile spreads across his face, but all I want him to do is get off of my cherry leather couch. Who is he supposed to be to me? I give him a face of disgust, but all he does is smile, oblivious to the fact that I really want to rip off his head.

"Jazmine," Usher nods, "Long time no see. You've really grown, honey."

I ignore him and head upstairs. I don't even like him anymore. Not after the "Daddy's Home" single thing. It was creepy quite frankly, and he looks ten times older as he sits on my mother's couch.

"I can explain, Jazmine," My mom yells as I head up the steps, allowing the tears to fall again.

"No need," I whisper to myself as I ignore everything and fall into my room, "No need at all."

I flop onto the bed with a deep sigh. I hate thinking of this. I hate thinking of the fact that I have a brother, and as much as I want to deny that, I can't. I can't pretend that it didn't happen, so I don't do that. Instead, I try to piece it all together. I wish that it wasn't so hard for me to pretend. I hate that. I hate the fact that it feels like I'm turning into somebody that I'm not. Why can't anybody see past this damn mask that I've placed over myself? I hate this feeling. I hate it. I hate it. I want to get away but it finds me every damn time.

The bottle is there. It looks at me. The brownish liquid sits still, enticing me to grab it, to empty it and my problems. I fidget for a moment, looking at it. I want to so badly, but my mom is in the house. Wouldn't that be disrespectful? Then, my eyes narrow as I think of the fact that she disrespected me. She was in Usher's arms, not my father's. Then again, it looked like he had another's arms to belong in, not my mother's. How could I really blame her?

I look at the label. It's Vodka. Maybe that will do. I hope it's strong enough to knock me out in one shot, but it turns out that I hold liquor really well. I know that this may be wrong, I do, but I also know that this isn't right. My life isn't right. As truly messed up as this may sound, everything is way more real when I drink than reality. My reality is nothing less than surreal. Surreal. It makes sense in my head.

Daddy, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. And I hate me. And I hate Mom. And I hate Usher too. Those are the words that I can process right now. I don't know what to do. I don't want to know how I want to survive. All I can do is cry and cry. I can't call Tasha or Kevin. I can't call any of those other girls at the table. They would be the main ones to spread devious rumors around the school.

I blow my nose into the white tissue and toss it into my floral garbage can before lying down on the pink fabric that covers my bed. I hated everything. I hated all of it. All I wanted to do was forget, but all I do is remember. And suddenly, I lifted.

I grabbed a gray pair of sweats and a form fitting t-shirt with a pair of converse that I had almost forgotten existed for a moment. I glanced around my surroundings, taking in the colors of my room that I had painted blue last week. And now, I'm climbing out of the window as my I look into the window to see my mom and Usher on the couch doing who knows what. I scowl before I realize that they can see me, and before they can react, I take off running.

The way I'm taking off, I can see the way that the blue skies can blend with the green grass. Everything is a blur as the rain falls from my eyes. The more I run. The better I feel. The brown pavement beneath the yellow of my converse makes me feel a little more optimistic, like maybe there's a little hope despite the muddy situation. I don't know where I'm going. And soon, the grass is flowing around me, the sunflowers blowing beneath my shoes. I see the tree that stands alone, and I immediately know exactly where I am.

I doubt that he still comes here. I know that I don't. I might be wrong. I may really be wrong, but I can't help but feel a little better as I lean against the bark of the tree and remember the good old days when only Huey made me cry. And suddenly, I let out a laugh that echoes around the silence and whispers as it comes back to me. I look up at the sun, my arms around my own two knees. And I remember things that don't hurt nearly as much as the fact that everything in my life is falling apart.

"_The world is a horrible place, Jazmine," _His words rang through my ears even though he wasn't really here. Even now, they made my eyes water. Only now, I know that he was really right.

* * *

I had done a pretty good job at pretending that I wasn't homeless. I had done a better job of pretending that I was still on great terms with my mom. That seemed like it was good enough, right? But it wasn't, not right now. After all, over the past month, Caesar and I had gotten pretty close. I wanted to melt right in front of him. He and I were always laughing. It was like we were different enough, but we were alike enough. I don't know how to explain it. I don't want to. It's okay for me not to understand it because I don't want to. I can only write it off as a simple natural high.

The only issue? I'm still with Huey Freeman, not that you can tell right now. I know that I'm wrong. I hate the fact that I'm so very wrong. My head is resting on Caesar's shoulder, and all I can hear is the beating of his heart, strong and beautiful at the same time. I smile as we look above us, the stars twinkle as my own heart pounds in my chest. I look at him, shocked at the way his eyes look into mine. I think he can see everything, and the small grin on his face tells me that he can.

I shift a little as I look at the people below us. I wonder how they can be so happy. Well, the homeless people that aren't assholes anyways. I look down from his gaze to ponder this, but all I can think about is how muscular he is. I hate feeling weak and scared. Why am I so emotional all of a sudden? And suddenly, he starts to talk.

"You're quiet," Michael notes as he takes another long glance at me, "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," I tell him as my voice falters, catching me in my own lie.

"Right," He chuckles as those dreads of his shake with his head, "So like I was saying, what are you thinking about?"

"A lot," I confess as he looks at me with an eyebrow raised.

"You can tell me," He spits out awkwardly before shrugging, "I mean if you want to."

We sit there awkwardly for a moment, shrugging until finally I spit it all out, "I ran away."

He doesn't say anything, so I keep going.

"My mom was the issue," I rambled, "She loved him, and he hurt her."

"Who is he?" Caesar's eyes were getting darker, "What did he do?"

"My father," I shook my head as I looked up into the black sky, looking away from him and down the street, watching the small children play down the road by the Andy's Ice Cream shop, "He was a businessman. Everybody respected him, and they loved him."

He looked at me again, nodding.

"But that wasn't what went on when I was in the house," I swallowed as I took another breath, "He just yelled at first; that's all it was. But then, he got angrier, and the older I got, the worst things got. By the time we moved here from Carolina, he had gotten so pissed with my mother that he had started hitting her, hard."

"I see," Caesar's voice had hardened as I told him the story. I stopped speaking. The crickets chirped instead, saying everything that the silence could not, or at least, that's the way I was imagining it, "Don't stop. Keep going."

"And they were throwing things at each other, fighting so much that they didn't even notice I was there sometimes. Once, I got hit with a knife," I told him as I showed him the scars on my shoulder, flinching when his fingers touched my skin, leaving a tingling feeling, not pain, "And that wasn't even what hurt the most."

"What did?" He asked me as he removed his hand.

"The fact that every time I tried to defend her she let him beat me," I told him, "And I hated her for it, but I still loved her. Every night I still loved her, but all she wanted was him. Even when he left, all she wanted was him, not me! And there's nothing I can do about it."

"Arielle," He began, but I stopped him as I raised my hand.

"And she let him do that to her," I told him as I noticed that he had pulled me to him, my cheek against his chest, "She fell so hard that she couldn't rise ever again, and I promised myself that I would never be like her. I can't give up on me for anybody. I can't trust anybody."

"You can," He looked at me, his face solemn, "You're not like her, Arielle."

"But I am!" I told him as I looked at his shock at my outburst, "And what's worse is that I'm so angry at everybody, at myself!"

"But Arielle," He was inches away from my lips now, his voice smooth, "You can trust me."

"I don't know," I was whispering as he looked at me, shaking his head.

"Don't tell me you can't feel it," He told me as I thought about how crazy we were, how crazy this was, "Because you can."

"Caesar," I whispered something inaudible before his lips covered mine, and I kissed him back. He was spicy and sweet. I knew that I was wrong, but I couldn't stop kissing him. I was in a daze. I was seeing stars. I had never kissed Huey like that in my life.

Huey. I thought of his name as I abruptly pulled away from him.

"I've got to go," I told Caesar as he nodded.

"You felt that," He prodded, "You had to have."

"Caesar, I have a boyfriend," I told him.

"Are you sure?" He glanced at me, "Because right about now, I fail to see any logic in that theory."

"Caesar," I sighed, "Please."

"Fine," He looked back across the street, "I understand, and when you finally realize, I'll be here."

I couldn't help considering that he might be right as I walked away from him, touching my lips as others stared on and wondered what was wrong with me.

* * *

I wonder what people really think about when they see me. Sometimes, I don't even know myself. I feel broken after a month, and the pain hasn't gone away. Nothing numbs the pain. Not even when I drink about five bottles of alcohol to numb it. Alcohol doesn't do anything for it but make me remember the screams I let out when the officers came to the door. The pills are still there. They're still in that drawer, and all I have to do is get up and get them. I lift up as my feet touch the beige carpet and head towards the oak drawer, feeling its smooth handles. I take a deep breath before pulling it open. I nod. It's either now or never.

"Cindy!" Riley opens the door as he shakes his head, "Yo sister just damn near beat my ass!"

I immediately slam the door and fly across the room so that he won't notice that my behavior is off the wall before managing to eject a fake laugh from my mouth. I hope that he falls for it. I don't think he does though. Riley's mouth opens then closes as if he wants to tell me but fears it'll hurt me.

"Yeah!" I manage loudly, just barely flinching at the sound of my cheery voice, "She got that from me!"

"Mane! She got that from Young Reezy," My boyfriend pounded his chest in a way that made me laugh harder than I had in a little while, "My gangsta rubbing off on her!"

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes at him as I ran a finger through my hair, "Where is she anyway?"

He gave me a look as he shrugged, "Harassing Granddad again I guess."

The laughs that sounded from downstairs confirmed his thoughts as we both shook our heads.

"I thought he hated Cartoon Network," I laughed again in a way that almost gave me away.

He did it again. He opened his mouth then he closed it.

"Nah," He looked at me then out of the window, "He secretly loves it if you ask me!"

I smiled again as his eyes looked into mine with a feeling that I couldn't place. I think he was worried about me. I wanted to tell him that I was fine, but I wasn't. I was lost, confused, and I was hurt.

"Babe," He sat down on the bed with his arms outreached. I looked away as I stared out of the window, pondering how long it would take him to leave so I could open the drawer, "Are you aite? Because I know it still hurts but-"

I narrowed my own eyes at him, "You don't know anything about what I feel."

He paused as he looked at me, mouth agape from the simple iciness that rolled out of my tongue, "Cindy-"

"No," I shook my head, "You don't understand. You don't understand what it's like to have sixteen years with somebody you love and have them ripped away."

"I do!" Riley snapped as he looked back at me, "I was young, aite? But it don't mean that I wasn't hurting. It doesn't mean that I'm not hurt when I see a damn kid and they daddy walking and I can barely remember."

"Good," I shook my head as his arms had somehow wrapped around me, "It's better not to remember anything. That's what's killing me. All the memories that will never come again."

He glanced at me and did the mouth thing again, but it was too late now. I wanted to know what he was thinking, and I would hear it.

"Tell me," I told him as his head lifted from whatever he was looking at, "What you were going to say."

"It's nothing," He whispered before looking away and looking back, "It's just that it kills you to remember what I would kill to. And honestly, mane this shit hurts even more to me than knowing? You know?"

But I didn't want to hear this, not with problems of my own.

"I see," I told him as we sat there for a few moments, listening to the shallow breathing that filled the room and saying nothing more until he left the room.

And with that, I had made my decision to listen to that small whisper that told me that it was okay.

"_Open the drawer,"_ It told me.

I listened.

* * *

I know deep down inside that I should be returning Jazmine's diary, but on the other hand, I want to know what's going on with her. I debate this as I walk home from the school. Detention was as eventful as it could get, I suppose. People fighting, strange conversations and people talking about what happened with Jazmine. I shake my head at the thought. Her pink diary has her name scrawled on the cover. I take a deep breath as I open it, flipping to the first page.

_August 12, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_ It's official now. Huey and Arielle really like each other now, and honestly, I can't say I'm surprised. What in the world could he see in a stupid girl like me? They both understand politics, they both think I'm dumb, and they both love their own race when I can barely choose between one. I just don't want to hurt anymore, especially at thirteen._

_ I know that it's crazy to love somebody so young, and I know it's even crazier to fall in love with a guy like Huey. I mean, he's amazing. He's smart and loyal and he cares about people. I love the way he'll fight for anybody he meets, even if he doesn't know them. I want him to like me back, but I know that we won't ever be together. I guess we're just too different._

_ Maybe, just maybe, I don't love him, and this is just a crush. After all, I just think he's cute. He does make me cry all the time, and he does say mean stuff to me all the time. He's way nicer to Arielle, and even when he says stuff that's mean to her, she can handle it._

_ Luckily, I'm going to leave junior high after this year. Maybe I can find a new guy to love, somebody who will actually love me back, somebody who doesn't make me cry all the time._

_Yeah, that sounds good to me, but until then, I guess I'll just watch as Arielle and Huey get closer and closer to each other._

_ And eat this very tasty Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream! I guess all heartbreak isn't bad._

I feel my eyes widen as I pause on the concrete to read the pages. I never knew she felt that way about me. Well, I knew that she had a little crush when we were younger, but I never knew that it was anything like this. I never knew that she loved me back then, and I didn't notice that she cared that much. I shook my head as I remembered her and I by the tree in our younger days. I had always made her cry, and I had taken her kindness for granted. I probably would have told her she was right about the fact that she and I don't belong together. Things had definitely changed now though. We barely even talked. I flipped some pages before stopping. I hated that I was being so nosy, but I just had to know what was going on with her.

_September 19, 2011_

_Dear Diary,_

_ I'm finally over him. I met the sweetest guy in the whole entire world today, Kevin Bryce. He's way nicer than Huey is, and guess what? He actually likes me! We don't go out yet, but we will. We just have to get to know each other first. I can't wait to call Cindy and tell her. Maybe, I'll get my first real kiss! At age fourteen! I'm so happy!_

_ Oh yeah, and I love drama class. I met this girl named Tasha. She seemed cool. We talked for a little while, and she helped me find my way around the school. I guess the first day of high school went pretty well after all._

_Bye,_

_Jazmine Dubois Bryce_

I rolled my two eyes as I shook my head. Leave it to Jazmine to romanticize everything. The afternoon sky was even bluer than normal, I noted. The way the clouds flew across the sky almost made me smile, but then I could remember what they reminded me of. My eyes darkened as I immediately thrust them out of my head. Did I really still want to do that to myself? d. I flipped to another page.

_December 1, 2011_

_Dear Diary,_

_ I don't want to do this to them. Really, I don't, but I don't even feel like I belong with them anymore. Arielle's with Huey. Riley and Cindy have stopped fighting and are getting closer and closer by the second. I can't even be around them anymore. I can't even make myself say anything._

_ Besides, everybody thinks I'm a loser. I may as well…_

The book is thrown from my hands and falls to the ground, but that's not even what shocks me. What shocks me is the fact that Jazmine is the one who has thrown it onto the floor. I grimace at her expression as I study her face. It's red, and her eyes are puffy. I see that she's wearing her Converse and sweats, which makes me relax a little bit, even though she's clearly upset.

"What the hell," Jazmine breathed as she folded her arms over her chest, "Are you doing with my diary?

"Um," I looked around her, "I found it?"

"So you read it?" Jazmine's voice sounded incredulous, "Are you serious? That's my diary?"

"Well how was I supposed to know it was yours?" I played it off with minor nonchalant motions of my shoulders, "I mean really, Jazmine?"

"I don't know," Jazmine told me as she gave me a look, "Maybe because Jazmine Dubois is all over the cover?"

"Whatever," I shrugged, "It's nothing in there worth reading."

"If you say so," She told me before walking away from her spot on the hill.

"Wait," I could hear my mouth uttering the damn words as she spun around, a frown etched on her face, "Why were you here?"

"Why do you care?" She spat as she turned to face me, "I could have sworn that you said that you hated me, so just back off!"

"What the hell, Jazmine?" I couldn't get why she was acting this way, "What's wrong with you? Why the fuck do you have to act like such a damn... You know what? Forget it!"

"Maybe nothing is wrong with me," She lowered her voice as she looked around her before coming towards me, her own finger in my face, "Maybe I'm just in a bad mood."

"So that's why you're face is all puffy because you were in a bad mood," I rolled my eyes at her, "That sounds very convincing, Jazmine."

"Just back off, Huey," She shook her head as her voice grew considerably softer, "Please."

"I just," I stopped myself from saying the words that we both wanted to say, "Fine."

"Thanks," She said before sprinting off and leaving me and the words that I wanted to tell her behind.

_I just wish things could be different._

* * *

We hitting up the streets tonight to take care of unfinished business. The way that these gangs operate makes me feel as though they have lost respect for ours. I don't appreciate anybody talking shit about me. Let alone renigging on me. Whatever, that ass is mine tonight. No homo.

My dudes are hyped up, shouting and cracking their knuckles. I nod in understanding as we approach our latest victims. I check them out. I can already tell that they gone lose. They stand with smirks on their faces, flexing muscles that I don't really give a damn about. I look at the one in the middle, who I'm assuming is they bitch ass leader, stands alone with his arms folded across his chest.

My crew has been trained to check out the competition as well. I notice what they are doing before they even think about it. I look at them, the way that their guns gleam in the moonlight. The silhouettes they give in their pockets as they point downwards make me turn away. I know that they will never get to use them. And soon, we meet in the middle, throwing up signs that we didn't really create. And even as I look at the leader, all I can think about is the fact that I'm fighting a war that shouldn't exist. I don't understand it, but for the sake of what's gangsta, I follow along with it.

"What are you doing here bruh?" The leader asks me with angry eyes. He steps up to me as his crew watches on and waits for me to even breathe so that they can strike, "This ain't yo area."

"Really?" I told him as I caught his eyes and stepped closer to him, "Because I heard that it ain't. As a matter of fact, I heard that this was my whole mother fucking property! So how about you take yo bitches and bounce?"

The leader laughs a little uneasily and shrugs to play it off, but I know I shook his scary ass up, "Or how about you take those behind you and bounce? I'm not going nowhere!"

"Now, see mane," I told him as I narrowed my eyes, "You really don't want to tell me that."

He thinks he has an advantage because I'm only fourteen. The dumb ass nigga doesn't even realize that he's playing with fire, but that's fine with me. He's only making it difficult for his own ass, "Mane please! You're only what, twelve? How about you go on somewhere and play gangsta with somebody else?"

"And how about you move?" I growl as he pulls out the gun before everything gets quiet as hell. The crews stare at me, and the cold steel rests between my nose and my eyes. I squint as I look at him angrily.

"Naw," I tell him as I snatch the gun from my head and lifting my fists to hit him in the face, "Hell naw."

Then, everything happens so fast that even my head spins for a moment. And soon, the whole crew is beating the others down as groans can be heard from my enemies. I smirk. This place is ours. I own this shit. The leader's confidence is dwindling too. His ass is getting mentally weary every time my fist collides with any damn part of his anatomy I choose. His nose is bleeding and there's a long ass scar above his eye. He glares at me in a way that tells me that he'll be back, but I'm not scared.

I'm never afraid.

I point the gun at him, and he stiffens, "Leave, mane. I'd hate to embarrass yo ass again."

He nods as he shakes his head, "Next time."

As they walk away, my crew has already started bragging. Jarod, however, walks up to me. He stops as he looks around him, and I already know what he's going to say before he utters the words.

"That girl," He glanced around him as his voice lowered, "From detention."

"Yeah, Jazmine" I told him, "She's-"

"My sister," He sighed, "And she's kind of stuck up"

"Well," I started, "She wasn't always like that mane."

"I see that much," Jarod rolled his eyes, "She looked uncomfortable as hell, but she's mad strong though."

"Whatever," I rolled my own two eyes.

"So what's she like?" He asked me as he looked off into the distance at the dudes in our gang act like some pure fools.

"I don't know mane," I shrugged, "We don't talk no more."

"Aw," He told me, "What happened?"

"I don't know, to be honest," I told him, as I too looked away, "She just kind of walked out of our lives and into another."

"Well, what did she use to be like?" He asked me.

"Mane," I threw my head back and laughed, "Your older sister used to act like a total crybaby. That broad was the girl version of Tom."

He punched me so hard that I couldn't breathe.

"That's my sister, nigga!" He said as he shot me a look, "Even if she is kind of-"

"A b-" I paused and reconsidered my words, "Stuck- up?"

"Yeah," He nodded as we stood there and looked at the sky, "I just have a feeling that that's about to change. Everything is."

I didn't say anything. All I could think about was the way the stars twinkled and Cindy's tears and Huey and Granddad. Everybody.

Was it really worth it? Was the danger really worth it all?

_Everything's about to change._

I guess I would find out.

* * *

And this is Chapter Six…

Ummm…yeah.

So in other news, I have all these ideas for these new stories, but I don't know which one I want to do. Thus, I'm letting you guys choose. All you have to do is click on my profile and click "Vote Now" at the top of the page and vote for the story. It will be closed sometime in May. So… start voting! And may the best idea win!

* * *

Now for my shoutouts:

Paige1292 (I love her for reviewing so much! Hey girl!), MissG2020 (I love her too!) These two are my V.I.P's!

iAnneheart01, Young Kong313, Littlekittykisa, keysk554, and ShellieB(you working your way back to V.I.P, ma'aam! Thank you guys so much!

A special thanks to Bloody Kirai, who added this to favorites! Thanks, girl!

And that's about it.

Review and vote.

Do those two things and chapter seven will be here sooner than you think!


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

* * *

**A/N: By now, you should know that I don't own this. Don't sue. I have no money!**

* * *

"_Maybe blame didn't matter and people who ruined your life didn't matter to him. But maybe she couldn't get past it." –Lena from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_

* * *

_Cindy_

Two months had passed so far, and all I could do was pop pills now. I couldn't function without them. If I even tried to go cold turkey, I felt lost and out of my own element. I stay in this guest room all the time, and Riley has tried to get me to come out so many times that I finally snapped, telling him to give me my space. Now, I feel like a nervous wreck as my heart's increasing. I know that I should tell somebody what's going on. I know that it doesn't make any kind of sense to sit here and wait for death, but it's so close to me that I can taste it. I can just feel the way that it moves around me. I catch my breath in my throat as my heart pounds even faster, and soon, the lub dub isn't normal. It's scary. It's passing along my brain waves as I slowly but surely lose what little sense I have.

I clutch onto the blue cloth beneath me. All I can feel is the pain that builds in my chest as the world spins around me. The beige colors of the walls blur in front of my eyes as I blink, the visions of things that I see quickly leaving my own reality as I blank out. And suddenly, I don't feel anything. Nothing happens as I fall within the darkness that I don't even recognize. The bed below me is gone, and all I do is fall. I want to come back. I try to open my eyes but my brain refuses the request. And I'm lost in a world that I can't return from.

_Am I dead?_

I don't know. All I do is sit and wait. Then, I wait and sit. Nothing happens until later. Not until I hear the vices above me do I realize that I may never wake up. I want to cry, to run past the darkness and return to the moment where I poured the contents of the blue and red pills down my throat and allowed them to fall into the darkness. I could hear them screaming, and I wanted to say that everything was okay, but I couldn't say anything, nothing at all.

_Is this death?_

I keep falling until I stop, and even then I am driven to the brink of insanity. I don't know where I am. I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is the fact that death is clearly imminent. Especially right now, all I can do is scream without making noise. I can grasp without reaching. I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to actually make a noise of any sort. The darkness doesn't waver as I think these things. It remains.

_Did I really kill myself?_

I don't know that either. All I want to do is run past the path to death and towards redemption. It doesn't help that it's far too late. It doesn't help that I feel so weak and defenseless. I can only pray that I'll wake up. I can only wait. And I slip away into the darkness as I feel nothing at all.

And then, everything stops.

* * *

Pretending that things never happen always seems to be the answer- even for me. I never again mentioned the kiss to anyone, not even Caesar, and I think he understood what I was doing because he never said a thing about it again. I just wonder if I made the right choice, especially at times like this.

"Huey," I told him between clenched teeth, "Why in the hell do you have to look at me like that?"

"Like what?" He returned my glare as his voice got strangely lower, "I can't even look at you anymore?"

"I just," I moved away from my spot onto the couch, ignoring Katie's squeals from the stairs, "I just don't know what happened to us."

Huey nodded his own head and looked away from us and out of the window. Even now, he was beautiful. He was perfect, but we, together, were not. Why was I trying to hold on to what was already dwindling? I didn't know. I didn't want to know. All I knew was that it hurt. It hurt that after all of the things we had been through from the first day we met, we still ended up here. Bob Marley once said that everybody was going to hurt you and that we had to figure out who was worth suffering. I think he's right, especially now.

"Me either," Huey shook his own head as he looked back at me¸"I normally don't say things like this. I'm not normally so…"

I could finish his own sentences, even at the most awkward times, "Lost."

He nodded again as his afro swayed. I wonder how long we can stay this way before it all falls down. How can we make this work when we're always fighting? I wonder if the suffering we endure together can outweigh the small amount of suffering we'll have when we're apart.

"But couples fight," He looked back at me, trying to hide his own pain that I could see just from knowing him so well, "Isn't that normal in a way?"

"Maybe," I whispered as I noticed Katie appear in the hallway then run away, red hair floating, "Or maybe we just don't really"

"Don't say that," Huey shook his head as I looked up at him, shocked, "Because we can work this out."

"No," I whispered as the tears that threatened to fall sprang to my own brown eyes, "We can't. We really can't."

"But," Even Huey's own thoughts stopped in his tracks, "I just hate that we can't even try. Why can't we just try?"

I paused shocked at our own role reversal, "Because"

"Because what?" His voice sounded low again, almost angry but not quite. I wondered if I should tell him the truth.

"Because I love somebody," I swallowed as my words sent my stomach to a spot that made me think I was on a roller coaster, and in a way, I was, "I love somebody else."

Huey didn't say anything at first. I grew more afraid with each passing of the time. The silence was louder than his own words, and for the first time in our whole relationship, I was truly scared of what he would do.

"You," Huey shook his head before throwing his head back and laughing, "You love somebody else? And you've been cheating on me? With this somebody?"

"I almost did," I swallowed as I realize that I might not stop until all of it came out, the whole truth, "I only kissed him once."

A lamp hit the carpet as Huey's fist collided with it, but he still looked eerily calm, "And?"

"And I told him to stop, that I didn't feel anything," I looked down again, "But I was wrong."

"You were," He laughed as something else hit the ground, shattering to pieces on the hardwood floor. It was our picture, "You were wrong? You don't say, but tell me this."

I looked up at him, noticing that the tears were falling not in devastation over our break up but my own shame.

"Where the hell did you even meet this guy?" He asked me as he came closer to me, but I backed away from him.

"I can't tell you that," I realized as he got even angrier.

"You can't tell me," His eyes were angrier, "You're one of the most blunt girls I know and you can't tell me?"

"It's," I looked around him as he slammed a fist into the wall, "It's complicated, more complicated than you think it is. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry," He repeated the words as he looked at me with pure rage in his own eyes, "You're the one who's fucking sorry?"

"Huey," I told him as I looked at the hole on the wall, "I don't think that's helping matters."

"Well," He flopped back on the couch as we sat there, " I think it did, and honestly, I'd feel better if you just left."

"Huey," I began, "I'm really so-"

"Don't say it," He lifted up as he took a look at me, "Just go before I do something I might regret."

I paused and turned to look at him.

"What are you waiting for," He looked up at the ceiling, "Go."

And I opened the door just as Granddad came out of the room upstairs and flew down the steps yelling at Huey about the giant hole in the wall. And as I walked out of the door, all I could do was wonder what would happen and if I was truly wrong for doing this to Huey. Because even though I had known for a while it wouldn't work out, I had stayed. But even as I thought of this, I shook that thought out of my mind, strangely clearer now. It took two in a relationship, and as much as I hate to admit it, Huey and I both tried to work something out that we knew would never work deep down. I want to say that I didn't choose one person over another, but in a way, I didn't.

I couldn't fight with Huey anymore. I couldn't deal with any of it anymore. And as bad as I want to feel, I know full well that I'm doing better even now by walking away from the whole thing. And in a way, I didn't choose Caesar over Huey or Huey over Caesar. I just chose my sanity. I chose me.

I just can't help wondering if I made the right choice.

* * *

By some miracle, I pulled a B out of Professor Elliot's class for the semester and miraculously maintained my own valedictorian spot. It was December, now. Nobody really wanted to go outside and hung out in the hallways until the principals practically forced us to leave. I, on the other hand, was still being forced to stay due to the two weeks I had left in detention, and Huey was no where in sight. I checked my watch as I sat in the desk where I normally did, looking from my watch to the door. If he was late, we would get a whole week of extra detention.

The door slammed as he walked in, looking more pissed than usual. I guess Riley had dragged him to school from his house, again.

"Mane nigga," Riley shook his head in pure amusement, "You just got another four weeks of detention added on to your sentence."

"Whatever," Huey shrugged as he took his seat next to my own, watching me as I looked away.

I looked over at Jarod, who was in a deep conversation with Mikayla at the moment. He glanced up at me with that cocky grin on his face that I was growing to kind of love. He was cool in a way, annoying sometimes but cool. We both chose to get along, and as much as I hate to admit it, life has gotten a little better since he's come around. Well, that is, when he isn't getting on my last nerves.

"What's up, sis?" He chuckled as I rolled my own two eyes at him, "I see that you're not rocking the afro like I told ya! Yeaaaah!"

"Shut up, Jarod," I told him as I rolled my eyes.

"Damn," Jarod feigned a look of hurt, "Jazmine don't love me no more!"

"Aww," Mikayla crooned as I suddenly felt the need to yank her out of the chair next to Jarod and pull her close to me, "Poor baby."

"Baby my butt," I muttered as everybody in the detention room snickered.

"Awww," Jarod looked at me, "That's so sweet. You actually care about a man."

"Whatever," I tell him as I roll my own two eyes, realizing that I feel more relaxed in detention than when I hand out at lunch with Tasha. Then again, my stomach isn't really growling now that I've eaten. It just amazes me that everybody in here doesn't really judge me about anything. All of these people who commit crimes, and lie, and steal are more loyal than the ones who manipulate others to get what they want.

Well, everybody in here has gotten used to me except for Huey, and he even looks grumpy today. Well, he looks grumpier than normal Huey does.

"What's eating you," I turn to face him as he looks at me, a little shocked.

"Nothing," He mutters coldly, making me turn back in my own seat, "Nothing at all."

"Oh," I say before I look down as he shoots me some crazy look.

"Thanks for asking though," He shrugs as I feel a little better that his anger isn't directed towards me, "Are we working on that lab today?"

"Yeah," I nod as I shift in my seat and try to convince myself that this conversation isn't awkward, "After theater practice."

"You still act," He didn't sound convinced.

"," I looked at him as he looked down at something on his desk, "She told me to act or fail."

"Oh," He looked fairly amused at the notion, "Well, that makes sense then."

"Whatever, Huey," I told him as I grimaced at the goth girl's story.

It was then that I realized that this was the first time that I had a conversation with Huey without fighting in years.

"The days of darkness are upon us," I could hear the goth girl continue, "that's why I have heavily equipped my home with vicious guard animals, including venomous snakes and piranhas."

It was also when I realize to avoid listening to her conversations at all costs.

* * *

The minute I walk into the guest room to say what's up to Cindy, I notice that she's sleeping. But the moment I walk into the room, I notice what the problem is. She's not even breathing. Her body is just still, like she's dead. I get so scared that I begin to freak out and hyperventilate like a punk, but then, I realize that Cindy needs me to be strong for her.

I look around the room for an inhaler, but I find something else instead, a pack of Granddad's pills that went missing forever ago. I slap my forehead in astonishment as I realize that she's been popping pills. And suddenly, the realization that she might die kicks in as I start screaming at the top of my lungs.

"Granddad!" I yell at the top of my lungs, "Granddad!"

"Somebody better be dying in there," He was coming up the stairs as I looked at him, shaking my head at his wrong choice of words, "Damn, what the hell do you-"

"Call for help," I whispered as I realized that tears were springing from my two eyes, "Please, Granddad, don't let her die."

"Boy, calm down," He's trying to sound calm himself, "You'll scare Katie. Now, just stay in here with her, and we'll call the ambulance, okay?"

All I can do is nod as I look down at her. She's just so still that I wonder if she can even hear me. I still remember everything about her. I remember the day that I met her as a young silly white girl in my own eyes. I remember the day I got her busted for spray painting street signs that I actually did, and I remember our candy bar mafia days. I even remember how gangsta she was when she was younger. She lacked compassion that the average female lacked.

I remember the days that I taught her to ball when were about seven, and then, she turned around and used her game on me. She was one of the toughest girls in the league by the time I turned nine, and even then, the only way you could distract her was by bringing up any topic of her mother. Not that it worked now.

She is a true gangster. She is my queen, my life, and it's taking everything in me right now not to beg her to wake up, and I loved her. I really loved her, but she didn't know.

I thought of our first kiss after she whooped me in basketball because I was distracted by the fact that she had finally gone through puberty. I had argued her up and down until she had finally made me so frustrated that I blurted out how much I liked her. Her blonde hair had been perfect that day, hanging down her Kobe Bryant jersey that I despised so much even though she made it look perfect.

I remember the day that she let me meet her father, who had pulled me to some secret room filled with weapons unheard of, and I thought I knew every single one. He had threatened me. He was a large man too, bid and wide. He yelled so loudly that I thought that he would explode. He had pointed a finger into my rib cage that had made me back away in discomfort, and for a moment, I was out gangstered by Cindy's dad. I didn't even try to touch her for a whole week. I did not want to die because Cindy's dad had shot me down.

I remember the day that we went to the park with Katie and just chilled, teaching the young girl to play basketball. And even though Cindy had tried to stop me, I even taught her to talk a little bit of smack too. By the end of the day, the little girl was running around the park and whooping any little kid who attempted to her she wasn't the shit.

And now, all I could do was wait for her to wake up. I looked down at her pale face and cried.

"Please, Cindy," I looked down at her in case she decided to move, "Just do anything to let me know you're still here with me, mane. I can't give up on you."

She didn't move.

"Alright, baby," I took a deep breath, "I know that I haven't told you this, but I l love you okay?"

She wasn't doing anything.

"And I'm not about to let you leave me," I kept talking, "I mean you're my everything. And I'm not no bitch, but I can't let you leave me. You're C-Murph. And I can't do anything without you."

I thought that I saw her arm move a little.

"And I love everything about you, even when you whoop my ass in basketball," I told her as I heard the sirens from far away, "And I love how you a regular gangsta, and how you think you're stronger than me."

"You're not," I heard Cindy whisper below me in a whisper, "And I love you too."

I always heard that love is a crazy thing, but I never knew that the rumor was true until now.

Damn.

* * *

I was walking home from detention as I thought about the fact that I was a single man now. I had always considered the possibility that we would break up, but I never knew that we would end like this. Not with her finding somebody else and leaving me in the sunset to figure things out on my own. I can still see her with tears in her eyes, telling me how sorry she is. Why the hell would she do that? How in the hell could she love somebody else and then tell me that she's sorry? All I can do is walk home as I ponder these things as I finally step out of the jail cell that is detention and walk towards the two double doors. For once, it's strangely sunny. The sky is blue and carries a tint to it that almost makes me want to smile at the way that the trees flow throughout the world, but I don't. Instead, I walk forwards as I make my way home.

Suddenly, I get a call from Granddad and pull out my cell phone, touching the keys with my fingers before pushing down on the green button and holding it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Huey!" Granddad sounds frantic, "I need you to watch Katie!"

"What?" I winced at the thought of watching the small child. I could already see her locking me out of rooms and threats floating through the air.

"I need you to watch Katie, boy!" He yelled into the speaker as I rolled my eyes at his loud behavior, "Cindy's in the hospital!"

Well, that changed everything. I nodded even though he couldn't see my own reaction, "Where is she?"

"Oh, I'm about to drop her off with you" Granddad announced into the phone as I looked around. I didn't see him anywhere, "Just stay where you are, I can see that afro anywhere."

Just as I was about to protest, he pulled around the corner with Dorothy, his beloved car with a red paint job and a decked out inside with televisions and all complements of a certain television show that isn't really worth mentioning. He slid to a stop as his tires made a loud screeching noise, making me flinch internally.

"Well," I looked down at Granddad, "Isn't that just safe?"

"I told you about that hating, boy," Granddad shook his head, "C'mon little cutie pie. Let's go."

"Nooo!" The small girl in the back yelled, "He's mean!"

"Katie," I sighed, "C'mon I'm not mean!"

"He thinks I'm stupid!" She hollered indignantly, "he told me that me and everybody I know is gonna die!"

"Boy!" My Grandad shot me a look, "You can't go around telling little girls stuff like that. How is it that you have a girlfriend anyway if you act like that?"

"Well, for one, it's true," I looked from him to Katie, "And two, I don't have a girlfriend anymore."

"Because you're mean," Katie yelled out again as if it wasn't completely mean to tell a guy who lost his girlfriend that his meaness pushed them away.

"Sorry about that boy," He told me as he unbuckled Katie and set her next to me, "But maybe this little angel can make you feel better."

"Granddad," I began in a warning tone, "I don't think that it would be very wise to put a little girl next to me after I just punched a hole in the wall. Think about what you're about to do."

Granddad looked from me to Katie as he rubbed his chin in thought. He made many noises for a few moments as Katie flinched at my words and tried to ease her way back to Granddad. Finally, he snapped his fingers as he called himself having a brilliant idea.

"Or I can just beat yo ass if you try to beat her!" He looked at me, "How does that sound?"

"Fine then," I told him as he nodded.

"Alright," Granddad got into his car as we saw his argoyle sweater fly up and made our own faces of disgust, "See you later."

And with that, he sped off and left us behind staring at one another. Katie looked up at me and started giggling.

"Play a game with me?" She asked me as she looked up at me with her blue eyes.

"No," I shook my head, "Not right now."

"Waaaaah!" She cried out.

"We'll play as soon as we walk home, alright?" I told her before grabbing her hand and practically dragging her down the street, despite her protests as I hurried along. After all, this did look a little like kidnapping, and the girl was white. I was relieved by the time we finally made it to the door. Katie was glaring at me like Cindy would, and honestly, it was pretty intense.

I tried not to tear away from her gaze, "Yes?"

"Play, now!" She demanded as the bell rang.

"Okay," I told her, "Wait just a minute."

As soon as I opened the door, I hopped back in surprise. It was Jazmine. She had on those stupid heels and those clothes that I hated to see her wear. She also had a scowl on her face.

"Calm down, Huey," She looked at me as she revealed a bag from behind her, "I know that you hate what I wear. I brought a pair of sweats so you can calm that down, now."

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out as I looked at Katie, who was doing something in the kitchen.

"I thought we had to work on Professor Elliot's stuff, Huey?" Jazmine gave me a confused look, "Because if not, then I can honestly just go home."

"Oh yeah, I forgot," I told her honestly as she shot me a look.

"Wow," She said as she raised her own eyebrow, "That's rich. I'm going to the restroom to change."

"Ummm," I looked at Jazmine, "Okay."

As Jazmine made her way into the restroom to change, I found myself walking towards the kitchen. I saw the red headed girl immediately, surrounded by food. I looked at her, wondering what she was up to. She smirked at me in a Riley-like manner. Great, he had been training her. Then, I suddenly realized exactly what was she up to.

"Fooood Figghhhht!" The young girl yelled out.

"Katie!" I yelled, "No, Katie stop it."

An egg hit my shirt by the time I made it to the living room, and when I ducked it hit me on the head. Where in the world did she get so much aim?

"Huey, I'm..Ahh!" Jazmine hopped back as the egg hit the wall, "What was that?"

"A little monster," A muttered, "Just Katie, she's three, and I'm babysitting. I'll take care of it."

I pulled out a pellet gun as Jazmine gasped in horror, practically tackling me to get me down. A piece of chocolate cake hit the television as we fell to the ground. It slid down, the sticky icing hitting the carpet. How would I get that up?

"You can't use that on her!" Jazmine hissed, "She's three."

"It worked on Riley," I argued as she shot me a look of annoyance and aggressively snatched the gun out of my hand.

"She's not Riley," Jazmine argued, "Besides, she's a three year old girl, not a juvenile delinquent."

"She's on her way," I pushed her head back down as the three year old hurtled pieces of jello our way."

"Take that, Risey's browther!" The girl yelled, "Meanie!"

Jazmine threw her head back and laughed while I shot her a look.

"What?" She threw up her hands in defense, "You've got to admit that it's kind of funny that she calls you that."

I grabbed the pellet gun and put my finger on the trigger before hitting the ground again with Jazmine on top of my back practically wrestling the gun from my hands.

"You are not going to hit her with those bullets, Huey!" She told me as I rolled her over so that her back was on the carpet.

"She hit me!" I argued back.

"With food, Huey!" She told me as she somehow threw me across the floor with her legs, "not a bullet!"

"Then, what," I ducked as the chicken flew past me and giggles could be heard from the kitchen, "Do you want to do about her?"

"How about treating her like a three year old instead of a prisoner," Jazmine rolled her eyes as she strolled past me and into the mess like nothing was wrong, "Is Katie in here?"

It took everything within me not to strangle the child as I surveyed the kitchen.

"No!" A girlish giggle was heard from the cabinet.

Jazmine ignored the girl and opened the refrigerator , pouring herself a glass of water before sitting on the wooden chair and pretending that nothing was wrong, "I guess not."

"But I am here!" Another piece of food flew across the air.

"Because a good little girl wouldn't throw all this nice food that belongs in her tummy around her house," She shot me a look as she nodded enthusiastically, "Would she Huey?"

"Um-" I was shocked by the sweetness in her voice, "No?"

"Here I am!" Katie yelled again, but Jazmine continued to drink her water.

"Did you hear something, Huey?" Jazmine asked me.

"No," I smirked as I realized what she was doing, "No, I don't."

The cabinets opened as Katie walked out of them, her long hair bouncing as she scurried towards me. She looked up at Jazmine with a scowl on her face and a scrunched nose.

"Who are you?" She asked her.

"Jazmine," Jazmine looked at her with earnest eyes.

"Are you nice?" Katie asked her as she folded her small arms across her chest.

"I hope so," Jazmine laughed, "Are you nice?"

"Yeah!" Katie chirped as she hopped up into the seat between Jazmine and I, charmed with the girl in front of her, "You're pretty!"

"Thank you," Jazmine smiled at her, "So are you."

Katie beamed.

"Well, I think we should clean up now," I announced as Katie shot me a look.

"He's mean," Katie told Jazmine who gave me a knowing look and shook her head before turning back to Katie.

"What makes you think that?" Jazmine asked her as she placed the glass in the sink like she had been doing it forever.

"He said," Katie took a deep breath, "That me and everybody I know is going to die. And he said that the world is going to end!"

"Huey!" Jazmine shook her head, "Why would tell her that?

"It's the truth," I told her as I grabbed some towels and a sponge to clean up the mess, "You know that."

"But you can't take her innocence away from her," Jazmine grabbed another sponge from the cabinet, "That's just wrong."

"And mean!" Katie yelled.

"Are there any other words in your vocabulary other than mean?" I looked at Katie.

"Punk!" She shouted.

"Now, Katie," Jazmine looked at her with some strange maternal expression that I definitely didn't possess, "I don't think that was very nice. Do you?"

"No," She said as she hung her head down.

"Now apologize," Jazmine ordered.

"Don't worry about it," I grimaced as the little girl came towards me, lifting from the floor I had just scrubbed, "I don't like apologies."

"Kay!" Katie smiled as she skipped back to the chair she was in.

_1 hour later…_

Katie was asleep and we had somehow finished our homework in time for her to actually go home early. She looked up at me with those green eyes again, and I wondered how she could really act the way she did at school.

Either way, I owed her for what she did with Katie. If not, both Katie and I could be in the hospital.

"Thanks, Jazmine," I told her as she left.

"No problem," She smirked as she took my gun from my pocket and walked down the street, "See you in class tomorrow!"

I realized that I was actually looking forward to it.

* * *

And that was chapter seven…

See what reviewing gets you? A little H/J action!

As for the votes, We Meet Again is in the lead with The Eyes as second place! If you haven't voted, I suggest you do so before I decide to take this poll down in the future at a random date.

Shout outs to:

Anneiheart01, keysk554, youngkong313, paige1292, MissG2020, ShellieB (who just updated) and paulinaghost

I really appreciate all of you guys! Especially the V.I.P's! Yaaaay!

That's pretty much it!

Please lookout for chapter eight.

Review, vote, review, vote, review, vote, review….

I think you get it!


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

* * *

**A/N: Look, I don't own the Boondocks. I just own Arielle, Mikayla, Jarod, Kevin, and Tasha F. **

* * *

"_When you are as great as I am, it's hard to be humble." –Muhammed Ali_

* * *

_Riley _

Cindy is supposed to be fine according to the doctors, but I don't think I'll believe them until she wakes up. She looks so peaceful, so still. It's hard to believe that she's alive, but as her chest rises and falls, I start to think otherwise. I feel like this is my fault, somehow. Didn't I leave her alone to go through this? Wasn't I the one who was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't notice that she was left out in the cold to defend herself?

` I should have seen the signs. I should have witnessed things for myself. I shouldn't have gone out with my guys so much, not when my girl needed me. I can't say it was just my bad, or my fault. It's bigger than that. But should have and could have won't help this girl now. I have to be more supportive, and I gotta bring her stuff? Aw mane, I don't know how to do this!

"Riley," I could hear the sound of her voice as it lightly made its way towards me, "Is that you?"

"Yeah," I nodded as I moved my way towards the bed. She looked sick, now, her blonde hair was smashed over a pillow, "It's Young Reezy! What's up?"

"Riley," She started as she shook her head and then tried to rise before I gently placed her down on the bed, "I'm sorry. I mean. I don't know. I'm sorry."

"No, it's my fault," I told her as I sat on the edge of the bed, looking away from her watering eyes and returning to them, "I mean, I'm supposed to be protecting you. I wasn't supposed to let this happen to you, but that won't happen. I'm gonna be with you every single step of the way. I ain't never letting you do this again."

"Riley-"

"Naw," I looked at her before swallowing and taking a look at the wall again, "I'm not through. I was scared as hell of losing you. And I can't do it again. I can't live without you.

"But I can," She whispered the words. They were inaudible, but I could hear them as they hit me like bullets.

"What?" I managed to look at her, the tears that didn't come, only the glare that she would give me, "What did you say?"

"I don't want it anymore," She looked into my eyes as she whispered the words, but all I could hear was the world crashing down. Damn, was this really how it felt to love somebody? Because if it was, then I didn't want it. It hurt. It hurt like hell. Was this why Huey was always so angry? Because I wanted to be like him right now.

"I'm sorry," She blinked at me, "It's just that you're always there. It's like you're always smothering me, and I don't want anything to do with it anymore. I don't want any of it. Riley, you're perfect. It's just that I can't be sure we're going to last forever. It's just puppy love. I mean you're fourteen, and I'm sixteen. Can we really expect for this to work?"

"Cindy," I looked over at her, "You're in the fucking hospital after you damn near killed yourself, and you think this is the way to solve things?"

"Yes!" She sobbed as she looked at me, "I do. Because you're part of the reason I did it! Alright?"

"Hell no," I looked over at her and the way she flinched at me, like I would hurt her. Even now, I couldn't think of doing the shit. All I wanted to do was tear the world apart to make her love me. Mane, fuck love, "You can't expect me to believe that, C-Murph."

"Don't call me that," She told me with clenched teeth, "Don't ever call me that. It's not just you. It's me. It's just everything."

"But I understand," I looked over my shoulder as I felt a lump in my throat grow, but quickly got rid of it, "I do. Why can't you-"

"You did not," Her words were short, angry, "You did not ask something of me right now. You don't fucking understand what's going on with me. I don't want to explain why we are no longer boyfriend and girlfriend. I clearly have more problems than that right now. And I don't want to talk to you about them, to anybody. So screw you. Screw everybody."

"Cindy," I couldn't even begin to process the venom in her voice, "Mane, can we at least still be friends?"

"Honestly," Her voice was so light, "I don't even know."

"Oh," I looked down at the white sheets, "wow."

"So you can go," She whispered again, trembling as I lifted so I could look at her.

"I'll be back," I told her gruffly as I walked out of the door, making sure that she could hear my voice, "I'm not giving up on you. Even if you want to."

And as I walked out of the door, Granddad was calling my name, and people were staring at me. And I was wondering what was so wrong with me that made them look at me this way. And then I felt them as they traveled down my cheeks, the trails of wetness that they left around them. And I rubbed the tears off my eyes after realizing they fell. After all, why bother? I might as well get over it.

After all, another chick like Cindy should be easy to find, right?

* * *

_Jazmine_

As much as I hate to admit it, I love being back on the stage with the old stage crew. Half of them are happy to see me. And some of them hate my guts for not only rolling back into their club but taking the lead role. I couldn't even believe it myself. I mean, the play is called "Miss Royalty", but the character, Heather, she doesn't act like she's royalty. She's always doomed. She's always lost. And when I say the words, I don't feel queenly or anything. I just feel raw, exposed. It's like she's always doubting herself or whatever.

"Jazmine!" Mrs. Wells shouts loudly as she comes down an aisle from below, "Come on, girl! We don't have all day!"

I apologize before taking a deep breath and start to speak, letting the words fall from my mouth, "I'm Heather. And yes, I'm. I'm… I don't know what I am. I mean, what is life? What are the things that make life, life? I just want a little love. I just want somebody, anybody to pay attention to me…"

Whoa, talk about déjà vu. I mean, how many times have I said the exact same thing to myself? And suddenly, I'm Jazmine, not Heather. Mrs. Wells is nodding, and even Arielle has nothing negative to say, which means that I must be doing halfway decently. But I feel the words. I feel the moments of sadness that she feels. And I know her. I can just feel the way that she surges through me. Am I Heather?

"I just want," I look out at the seats that overlook the stage before sitting down and dramatically slumping down in my chair positioned behind me, "I want anybody to listen to me. I want everybody to love me, and I'm going to make it happen. I have to. I don't think I can live without being heard, not anymore. I want the lights. I want people to stare at me because they think I'm beautiful, smart, lovely."

And that sounds familiar too. I feel the tightening of my chest confirm my thoughts. And all I can think is how crazy I must be to want to lose being myself to pretend. Isn't this where I was my happiest? On this stage? The golden curtains stand behind me. They curl underneath me and dance. I frown. And I keep talking. Because in a way, this is a confession. Even if my audience doesn't know it, I just love it. Maybe that's why I'm such a dramatic person. I love the attention, the spotlight.

"And that's how it has to be," Heather tells herself, and I look up at the ceiling before getting up and pacing around, "That's how it always has to be. And worst of all, it's only because I make it that way. But maybe, just maybe, I can change myself this year. I can do this. I can do this."

Arielle walks in, tossing her hair and shooting me a look, "Move, loser."

"Oh, right," I say as I get up, "That's the problem. Nobody's ever going to give me the chance."

And all of a sudden, Mrs. Wells yells, "Scene. Fantastic job!"

And I nod and get up to leave, but Arielle pulls me to the side.

"Jazmine?" She actually looks concerned, "I know that you think you're the shit now, but I can't help but ask. Are you drinking?"

"What?" I pulled back from her grasp and look at the way she's looking. Funny, her braids even seem angry with me, "No, I'm not. Why? Do I look drunk to you?"

"No," Arielle shook her own head as she lowered her voice in the hallways. It was after school, though, and nobody bothered to come down this hall anyways, for risk of being seen associating with the "theks" or theater geeks. I shook my head at her, but she only stepped in front of me, opening my bag and pulling out the glass bottle, "but I did see this. Are you crazy Jazmine?"

"Maybe," I snatched the bottle back so quickly that it took a few moments for Arielle to realize what I had done, "But maybe, I'm holding it for someone, or keeping it from somebody else."

"Right," Arielle gave me a skeptical look as she examined the bottle before looking at something on the side, "Does this person have the same lip gloss as you?"

"Look!" I yelled out as the auditorium behind us got quiet. I let my voice lower so they wouldn't hear what I was saying, "You won't understand. You could never understand."

"Jazmine," She rolled her eyes at me, "All I'm going to say is you're paying a price when you aim to forget everything with alcohol or any substance for that matter. Whatever it is that you think you can't handle, talk to somebody about it, anybody."

"I," I shook my head, "That's not true."

"It is," She narrowed her eyes at me, "And I know it is. I can tell just by the expression on your face, but you know what?"

"What?" I look up at her, my eyes wide I'm sure.

"If you need to talk," She threw her head back and laughed, "I'm here. Really, I am."

"Um," I shifted, "But don't you, hate me?"

She paused and scratched her chin, "No, I don't. I mean I don't care for you or whatever, but I don't think I want your stuck up ass dead."

"Oh," I shrugged, "Well, I should just let you go. I don't want to keep Huey waiting or anything."

"Huey?" She shot me a look, "We broke up like a week ago. Where have you been, Dubois? Oh, right. The alcohol?"

And with that she spun on her heel, leaving me to contemplate her words. But all I could think about was the bottle in my bag. All I could feel was the way it ran down my throat. And when I started to breathe again, I could feel myself swallowing then sitting. And soon it was all gone. And as woozy as I felt, I made it to the car and put my key in the ignition. I still had to get home.

* * *

_Huey_

"Mane," Riley stormed through the door angrily, a brow furrowed, "Fuck love! I can't believe this shit!"

I rolled my eyes at the loud noise disrupting my reading and looked up from my book to shoot Riley a look, "Do you mind? I'm reading."

"I mean can you believe that she had the nerve to break up with me," He sat down on the bed, "after everything we've been through?"

"Um," I looked up at him, studying his face before I shrugged, "yes?"

He looked at me appalled but said nothing else. He just sat there on the bed fidgeting awkwardly.

"You are fourteen," I rolled my eyes, "She's going through a tragedy in her life, and as much as I hate to tell you this, she probably wants to be left alone."

"But," I hung my head and sighed, "It's strange without her."

Seriously, was my brother really this hung up over Cindy? I snorted at him, "Get over it. People in life come and go. Stranger things happen. As a matter of fact, they always have happened. So you may as well move on with life. If it's meant to be, she'll come back."

"Nigga, you gay!" Riley announced as he threw something at my head, "That shit didn't help!"

"Well, honestly," I looked up at him as he shot me a quizzical look, "I didn't want you with a white girl anyways."

"I swear," Riley said as he got up and shot me a hard look, "Sometimes, I wonder when the fuck you're going to realize the right things to say."

"And sometimes I wonder when," I paused as he looked at me, "you'll actually want to hear the truth."

"The truth," Riley shook his head at me as he threw his head back and laughed, "Funny, how you can't tell your own self the truth! Mane nigga please! You ass thinks you better than everybody else when in reality we're all practically one in the same. All of us are."

"Riley," I rolled my eyes again, "I never said-"

"Mane," Riley walked across the room and headed towards our door. I wasn't going to move to stop him, "Just don't even bother, nigga! I'm outta here!"

And before I could even object, the door slammed. Riley was gone.

I never seem to do anything right with him. That wasn't really my forte. That was my parents' job. I remember them because they've been gone since I was about eight. They died a long time ago, at my birthday party. I remember because it was so huge. The whole neighborhood had shown up for it. I would only smile for my parents, then. And after they died, I swore that I would never ever smile for anyone other than them ever again…

_August 6, 2005_

"_Happy Birthday, Huey!" My mom walked into my room. It was covered in the essence Africa, a place my parents went every single year. My walls were painted red, black,and green with all types of animals surrounding it and trees. I loved it. It was like walking into a little piece of Africa. On my sixteenth birthday, I was supposed to go, "Come on. Get out of the bed for mommy! You're finally eight."_

"_I'll be eight all day," I grumbled in a small voice before rolling over to sleep again._

"_Son," My dad's voice was gruff and soothing all at once, "revolutionaries never rest. Come on!"_

_I nodded and lifted from the bed, "Alright, fine."_

"_Happy Birthday, big head!" Riley announced as he walked into the room._

"_Riley," My father shook his head at him. He stood tall and strong. He too wore an afro on his head with a smile on his face. He was big, strong. I knew I would turn out like him someday, "That's not the proper way to serenade somebody."_

"_To what?" Riley's small six year old face immediately became confused. He was still small, a little shorter than me. And unfortunately, he didn't have his braids yet, so people got us mixed up all the time._

"_Here's a dictionary, sweetheart," My mom grinned at him. She was beautiful too. She had those wine colored eyes that both Riley and I inherited. Her skin was the color of night, and like it, she was gorgeous. Her hair was long too, naturally puffy. She loved it. She would state everyday how our hair enhanced our African roots, that it was nothing to be ashamed of._

"_I don't want to," Riley complained, "I just don't know what it means. Why can't you tell me?"_

"_Because one day," My mom put her arms around Riley, "Momma and Daddy won't be here to help you. Sometimes in life, you have to do things on your own."_

_Riley contemplated this for a moment and scratched his head in thought, "but you're here now?"_

"_Take the dictionary,son" My father's tone was final. We both knew what that meant. He took the dictionary from my father's hands and nodded._

"_Wait," My father grabbed the book from his hand, pulled out a pen, and wrote something in it, "Maybe one day you'll understand."_

_I wanted to know what my father wrote in the book, but I was taught to mind my own business, so instead, I got dressed. My jeans and black t-shirt were on, and my father nodded, exhibiting his approval for my outfit._

_About two hours later, my mom called me to come outside, saying that it was really important. I immediately ran down the stairs, trying to see what was going on._

"_Happy Birthday!" Everybody was there. My best friend Cairo, my Aunt Cookie, and even Granddad had come along just for my birthday. I was in awe of everything._

"_Happy Birthday, baby," She told me with the smile on her face, "You deserve this. Now, I want you to enjoy yourself."_

_And I did. Everything was not only great, but everybody was having a good time. Though I must admit, if they all knew that they weren't really eating meat, they probably would have thrown a fit. But my mother's cooking skills were so magnificent that none of that was needed for them to believe it. It tasted like it._

_Finally, my mother set out the cake and ice cream. Riley was at the end of the table, licking his lips hungrily as he watched her set it down in the table in front of me. I sat in a big chair in front of it. It had lights around it, and she set a crown upon my head along with a kiss, endowing me as her African prince and hugging my father, the African king of her life. After all the cooing from the audience, I was instructed to blow out my candles and make a wish, but something else happened instead._

"_Freeze!" Somebody told us as my family and friends turned around and gasped. A man dressed in all black with a gun in his hand had arrived to my party, and he didn't sound very happy at the moment. At eight, my eyes widened, and I was frozen to the ground. Even though my father taught me some self defense, I never had to utilize it in dire consequences, "Now, hello, Renee and Sherman Freeman."_

"_What do you want, Blake?" My father had already discreetly shoved me under the table, and I grabbed Riley so that he was there as well, cowering next to each other. His voice was hard, cold. I had never heard him sound like that before. It was in a sense scary but in another way powerful and unafraid, "Get away from here."_

"_But Sherman," I could hear the gun click as he loaded it, "I haven't seen you or your beautiful wife in so long."_

_I looked out and saw the man kneeling down towards the table, looking into my eyes with his blue ones, "And look at these lovely children of yours. Sorry that I had to ruin such a party, but what can I say?"_

"_Get the hell away from my babies," I could hear my mother growl, "or I swear to god I'll-"_

"_You'll do what, Renee?" The man growled as he abruptly stood up, "You'll kill me like you killed Victor? Huh? Like you killed my own brother? My flesh and blood?"_

"_He was trying to kill innocent children. He was a menace to the human race, Blake," My father shook his head, solemn and sad, "You know we had no other choice."_

"_There," Blake was shaking violently as the crowd stood frozen in fear, "is always a choice. Always!"_

"_Blake," My mother reached for him, but he shot a bullet into the air so that she would jump back._

"_And somebody has to pay," He laughed, "yes, somebody always has to pay, but don't worry. I don't believe in harming innocent children, not directly anyways."_

"_And what do you mean by that, Blake?" I could hear my father ask him. _

"_It means," The gun sounded twice and two loud thuds were heard, "That you pay. An eye for an eye, and two lives for one life."_

"_Momma!" I screamed as I ran to her, she was breathing, but you could tell that she wasn't going to make it. She closed her eyes and my father wasn't looking any better, "Daddy!"_

"_So- son," His voice was still strong, even now, in his death, in his own pool of blood, "Now,lo-look, after Riley- don't give up- pro-mise"_

_I nodded with tears in my eyes, then wiped them away. I didn't want my idol's last memory of me to be one with tears in my eyes, "Son, I love you. It's-okay- to- cry. And-"_

_But that was it, he was gone. My mother and father were gone. I would never see them again for the rest of my life. I would move in with Aunt Cookie, but her health problems would not allow her to keep us for more than two years. We would later move in with Granddad, who would move us to Woodcrest despite our constant protests. _

_But at that moment in time, I knew nothing of this. All I knew was that everything in my life had abruptly changed for the worst. And even before Bill ran away and the cops came, I made a vow to watch after Riley with my life. I made a vow not to shed a single emotion from my body again. And I made a vow to spend my life doing what my father did as a revolutionary. _

_I cried for three days before I was able to keep my promise. I never wanted to hurt again._

_(End of Flashback)_

I opened Riley's dictionary, never reading what was written on the side of it.

"I'm trying, Dad." I whispered, "I really am."

* * *

_Arielle_

The homeless shelter is more full than usual, but that's not who I'm looking for. I'm looking for Caesar, but I can't find him. I want to talk to him, apologize for everything. And I know that I want him, but if he wants to be just friends, I can live with that. I can acknowledge that I ruined everything we could have had. I should have been more honest. And suddenly, I could hear him. He was free- styling to the song, _Fall for Your Type. _I sat back and listened to his words as the beat played.

_Yeah, _

_Yeah,_

_Okay,_

_MC! Brooklyn!_

I held back my laughter as he bobbed his head with the part. He wore shades in the darkness too, but I loved it. It made him more Caesarish.

_If your name is Juliet_

_Then mine must be Romeo_

_I know how the story ends_

_Because we represent its flow_

_Baby we were kicking it_

_Not oh so long ago_

_Now I can barely look at your face anymore._

_Uh,_

I nodded as his words traveled to my ears. He wasn't such alright. He was good. Maybe more than good. He was amazing.

_Guess that I shouldn't be surprised_

_I mean you went your way_

_And I clearly went mine._

_Danced in the sun_

_And met the moon light_

_And with the new days, came a new might_

_Came a new fight_

_And a new sight_

_To behold the differences_

_In our new lives_

I listened to the way his voice grew smoother as he flowed. He was telling a story, I realized. People were crowding around him, bobbing their heads to the beat like I already was.

_And I tried to stop the world from crashing down_

_Cuz that's the way I feel every single time you frown_

_And, I want us to be forever_

_Because I can't seem to deal with never ever_

_So, can you call me if you can_

_It's not a big deal,_

_I'll be the bigger man_

_I want to understand_

His voice was growing louder as he spoke the words with ease, flowing so deeply that I doubt he even noticed that he had bothered to attract a crowd.

_And if you can't feel everything I'm feeling_

_Or can't deal with the cards that I'm dealing_

_I must be more lost _

_Than what I know_

_I'll find somebody else _

_to audience my show_

_And I'll stop waiting for.._

_The things that won't happen_

_I'm in it for more than just the everyday passion_

_But girl, you just crashing_

_Huh,_

_And we wonder_

_What we can do without each other_

_Rather than with each other_

He smiled.

_I would do it all for you, girl_

_You're more than the moon_

_You're more than the world_

_And I wish we could go back_

_Because maybe then I could keep track_

_Of you_

_But_

_I'll catch you if I can_

_Because once you fall_

_You'll need somewhere to land_

_And here's exactly where you'll be_

_There's nothing there to stop me_

_As long as there's a we_

_So…_

_Please stop holding us back_

_I need you in my life_

_It's your love that I lack_

"Awwww!" Some girls called out.

_So girl come to see_

_Because without your love _

_I don't think I can breathe_

_I don't think I can be_

_Anything unless it involves you and me_

_And…_

_Girl, you know I'm not a desperate kind_

_But you're love has messed with my mind_

_And it's made it so divine_

_Yeah…_

_I don't normally say this_

_But…_

_I think I_

_Fell for your type_

_*Jamie*_

_Why do I always fall for your type?_

_For your type?_

_Tell me why I always fall for your type?_

_Yeah_

_For your type_

_I just can't explain it anymore…._

And before I knew it, I was walking up to him and kissing him with so much force that he suddenly kissed me back. And everybody was either cheering or hating. I can't bother to tell you which one it was because I was to busy finally kissing the love of my life to care.

* * *

_Cindy_

Everybody tells you how much life hurts. They didn't mention how much dying hurt too. And it was scary as hell, trying to do that. And even though the nurses tell me that I'm lucky to be alive. All I can feel is unlucky. I'm still in a house with my new ex. I'm still kind of sad. And on top of that, I have a sister to look out for, but I can't even see her.

I have to go to mandatory classes here. And I also have to see a therapist at least once a day. I don't want to go see one. I know that I'm not perfectly fine, but does that mean that I have to go see her? I just want to wake up and know that everything that's happened in the past month was all a bad dream.

But I know that you can't wake up from reality no matter how hard you try. I don't want to open to anybody. And that's exactly what I'm going to allow to stay the same about me. I'm not going to allow any old broad in a suit to make assumptions off of me. She doesn't even know me. And I don't want her to. I sit still, and I wonder if I did the right thing.

I hope that I did.

It's not that I don't care about Riley. I do. It's just that we're so young. And I think he's special. I don't want to ruin a good thing because we rushed things. If I lose him, then we weren't meant to be, but I know full well that everything will work out for the better. Or at least, I hope so.

Nothing can be worst.

Can it?

* * *

_Jazmine_

"What is this I hear about you and the drama club?"

Uh- oh, that doesn't sound good, but I'm drunk. What do I know?

"Huh?" I ask her, not really playing dumb.

"You, drama club? What's up?" Tasha asked me, her hands on her hip as her long hair passed down her back and shook, "Jazmine, answer me!"

"It's for my grade, alright, Tasha?" I snapped at her, too tired to act sweet, "Do you want me to fail?"

"Jazmine," She gave me a look of sympathy, "Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices in order to be great."

"Tasha," My voice was low but very audible as I slurred, "You can not expect me to give up my fucking valedictorian spot because of some stupid popular rank!"

"It wasn't stupid when you went through initiation!" Tasha rolled her brown eyes at me, "Now, drop the play."

"Hell," I narrowed my eyes at her as I spoke the words as slowly as humanly possible, "No!"

"Jazmine," She narrowed her eyes back, "You're a drunken bastard right now. Go home! And when you're sober and cooperative, then we'll talk."

And before I could even object, she had stormed off. I frowned but put my keys into the ignition. God, the world was spinning. I smiled as I the car responded to my actions and went into gear. The radio played, but the only thing I felt like doing was living. This was better than that. I could forget and dare. I pulled onto the street.

When would I truly forget?

* * *

And…that was chapter eight!

Yes, I wrote the freestyle. No, I don't own the real song. Sorry, I can't rap it for you! Try it yourself though. It's fun!

Please review! Please! I'm begging you!

And I'm soo sorry about not updating this one. But with all these AP tests this week, something had to be put on the backburner. But I'm back now.

Shout outs:

Shellie B, Paige1292, keysk554, Victoria,MissG2020, and DivaXRayRay

Also, thanks to those of you who favorited this!

I appreciate you guys! Especially if you review on the regular. In two weeks, I'm out of school, or maybe a week! You'll know soon! And then, I'll be a little faster.

Review! And be on the lookout for nine! I heard it was off the chain!


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

* * *

**A/N: My dream husband, Aaron McGruder, owns this. I do not. Sorry to disappoint you…**

* * *

"_People have to suffer before they can risk doing what they love." Chuck Palhanuik_

* * *

_Huey_

I was going to kill her. I couldn't wait to find her, rip her limb from limb, and just destroy Jazmine's body and hide it.

She wasn't in the library. I checked the auditorium, the bathroom, and there was no way she was in detention; she never showed up. We had a project to work on, but all she wanted to do was disappear? And that was fine with me. Really, it was. But Professor Elliot made this about fifty percent of our grade, and if she didn't show with the rest of our part, there was no way that I would be able to make a passing grade on it. Then, I would get a C average. I shuddered at the thought of it.

I checked the auditorium again, just to make sure, but she was nowhere in sight. Arielle looked up at me just as Mrs. Wells looked up and began to freak out, yelling about me interrupting the moments of theater. She excused herself, her eyes concerned as she walked out in the hallway. I snorted at her, still a little angry with the way that she dumped me for some other guy.

But on the inside, I knew that I was also confused that I didn't hurt like I should have. It was almost like a pin prick. Even losing Jazmine's friendship had hurt much more than losing Arielle to some other guy. But looking at Arielle now, I knew that she was better off with whoever the lucky guy could be. She glowed in a way that she never had, and she looked a little calmer. As calm as Arielle could get, anyways.

She smiled at me before looking down, no doubt sensing my anger with her. Her body language grew more and more solemn as she looked up at me, "Looking for Jazmine?"

"Yeah," I told her as I looked at her. Her eyes shifted from mine again. Something was wrong, but I was going to give her a chance to explain, "Professor Elliot gave us another project to work on."

"Oh," She nodded as she fidgeted awkwardly.

"Have you seen her?" I looked up at Arielle before adding more to my sentence, "Because I really need the other half of my project."

"Yeah," Arielle stepped forward, her eyes surprisingly damp as she finally lifted her eyes from the floor. It was quiet, since it was after school, "But there's a problem, Huey. I think she's really going through something."

"And since when do you care?" My eyes narrowed at the girl in front of me. Arielle grabbed a braid then tucked it behind her ear as I kept on talking, "You've always hated her."

"I don't hate her, Huey, but the girl," Arielle sighed as she took a deep breath, "You've always liked her more than me, but now, it's gotten to the point that you love her more than you love me. But the thing is she loves somebody else or something else, at least."

"And you care because," I prodded her as I looked around us, but the hallway was empty. All that was around us were the beige lockers the school provided us, and a single door in the hallway that was known for slowing down student traffic during the day.

"I think that she's drinking," Arielle teared up again, "And she shouldn't be. I'm scared that she'll do something that she'll really regret. I just don't want her to hurt herself."

"And how would she," I paused as her words sunk in, "Wait, you think she's an alcoholic? What the hell would make you think that?"

"She's been carrying around big bottles of alcohol with her in her bag," Arielle sniffled as she looked at me, "And I confronted her about it a little while ago, "and she got all defensive. I know what an alcoholic looks like, and she's well on her way."

"And you didn't tell anybody before this?" I wanted to scream at her, but I kept my voice calm. She still flinched as I got closer to her, "How do you even know what an alcoholic looks like?"

"My mother," Arielle's voice got dangerously low, "is one."

Uh-oh, I had just gotten in dangerous waters that I sure couldn't swim in, "Arielle-"

"She always made excuses, she was violent, and she was always so angry with me," Arielle sobbed as I stood there awkwardly before pulling her into my chest, letting her cry, "And I liked her better on heroin, because then she was nicer."

I was shocked that I had never really known this about Arielle, but there's more to people than what I think, I suppose. I don't know everything, after all, but I do know that Arielle isn't lying to me. She is crying, after all.

"That sucks," I snorted as she laughed, the hiccups hitting quickly, "But maybe Jazmine didn't drink it."

"I hope not," Arielle told me, but then her eyes widened as she realized something, "Huey, I think she did."

"What do you mean," My eyes narrowed all over again as I pulled her out at an arms length, "You think she's been drinking again?"

"She was slurring when she was talking to me," Arielle face palmed herself, "And she was acting so defensive about it that I just told her that I would be here for her. What if she drove home? What if she hurts somebody?"

"Come on, Arielle," I snorted as I glanced at her, a little annoyed, "Jazmine isn't that stupid."

"She's been letting Tasha run all over her, she stays with Kevin even though he cheats on her, she doesn't talk to anybody, and she's using alcohol to cope with whatever is wrong with her," Arielle told me as she looked up at me, stamping her feet, "That is stupid!"

"So you think," I winced as I pondered the thought, "That she believes she won't get hurt. What does she think that she's doing, then, Arielle! I mean she's not dumb enough to forget that drunks shouldn't drive!"

"One, she's doing it to forget something, Huey," Arielle shot back at me. Maybe we were alike, in stubbornness. Neither one of us was backing down, "Two, drunks don't think logically!"

"Well," I rubbed the stubble on my chin before looking towards the single door, "There's only one way to find out."

"I guess so," Arielle shook her head as we walked towards the double door. Maybe, it was the fact that I was nervous. Or maybe it was the simple fact that Arielle was still special to me. Whatever it was, I definitely couldn't ignore the prickling in my chest.

"So who is he?" I asked Arielle as we walked towards the parking lot, "I mean, you look really happy and all. He has to be a great guy to deal with you."

She grinned for a moment before ceasing and frowned again, "He is. He really is."

"Well," The prickling feeling was there. Something bad was happening. Something terrible.

"Huey?" Arielle looked at me as I sped towards the parking lot, "Are you alright?"

I opened my mouth to answer her, but before I could even do so something loud interrupted my sentence.

"Boom!" Something had crashed or exploded in the street, maybe both.

Arielle and I froze in our spots before taking off running towards the streets, "Jazmine!"

But just looking at the car, I knew she couldn't hear us at all.

* * *

_Cindy_

The hospital wanted me to take classes with some group here. They told me that the therapist was really great, and she should be able to help me figure out what was wrong with me. I refused at first. Then, they told me that I couldn't be released until I took at least six classes. I frowned but relunctantly agreed. After all, I still didn't have to tell these people anything.

The only thing they didn't tell me is that you have an hour with the group and an hour with one on one time with the therapist. And honestly, I didn't want to tell her shit.

"So," The therapist had to be in her mid 30s, she wore a tan skirt with a nice blue collared shirt that was beautiful but not trashy. She wore little make-up, and her legs were crossed over each other. Her skin was tanned, and she reminded me of a California girl in a sense. Her glasses covered her eyes, but they were speckled. To be honest, they had swagger written all over them. If it weren't for the fact that I didn't want to be here, I would probably have snatched them up, "What is your name?"

"Maybe it's the name on your paper," I rolled my eyes at the woman, "Dumbass."

"Really," She sounded calm as she read the paper, "So you enjoy being called Cynthia? I guess that's what I'll refer to you as."

"Call me Cindy," I wrinkled my nose at the name that she read. It sounds so old, and I hate that name. It's the one that my mother gave me, "That's what everybody else calls me."

"Oh," She simply said as she looked at the vanilla folder in her hands, tapping her nude heels on the carpet quietly, "Well, okay then. I see that you play basketball. Do you want to tell me about it?"

"No," My voice was so icy that even I was shocked at the way that it was coming out, but I sat still, waiting on her to respond.

She shrugged moving on to something else, "Well, what about your sister, Katie? How do you feel about her?"

"She's little, she's loud, but she's my sister. That pretty much sums it up," I shrugged as she shot me a look.

"Well, okay," She dragged out the words a little, making me roll my eyes again, "Could we talk about your friends?"

"No," I shrugged again as she took a breath before moving down to something else.

"Your mother?" She asked me.

"Hell no," I whispered quietly, "I don't even know you."

"My name is or you can call me Cindy, seeing as though we have the same first name," She shrugged at me, her blonde hair shaking with her head, "If that's okay with you."

"I just want to leave," I shook my own head, "So if you don't mind."

"Bye," She told me, closing the folder and setting it down on the desk.

I stood there with my mouth wide open, "What?"

"You want to leave?" Her tone was even, "You can. I have other patients who will gladly sit in your place. I don't bother to help people who don't want it. Now, if you want to leave, do it. But I wouldn't approve of you doing such a thing. Especially with your recent activities lately."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked her, offended, "You don't even know me."

"Well, if this is how you act all the time," Dr. Heat looked into my eyes, "I don't want to."

"Fuck you!" I hollered so loudly that the assistant next to Dr. Heat flinched, "I don't want to trust anybody. Everybody lets you down! Everybody!"

"And what would make you think that, honey?" Dr. Heat had softened her tone so much that I just couldn't be angry anymore. And all of a sudden, I lowered to the ground, letting the tears run over my cheeks.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as I looked up, Dr. Heat, "Because everybody already has, even me. How can I trust everybody else when I barely trust myself?"

"You're sixteen," Dr. Heat shook her head, "You shouldn't worry about things like this."

"But I can't," I whispered, "I can't just stop worrying. I have to brace myself for everybody to just let me down. So why in the hell should I trust somebody who's just in it for a paycheck? Huh? Tell me that."

"Because," Dr. Heat looked into my eyes, "You can trust me. I will do my best not to let you down. I'm not in it for just the pay. I'm in it to help you. Alright?"

I nodded.

"Now, let's start over," Dr. Heat handed me a tissue, "My name is , but you can call me Cindy. What is your name?"

"I know that stupid file of yours says Cynthia," My voice trembled as the lump came up my throat, "but just call me Cindy."

"Well, hello, Cindy" Dr. Heat smiled at me, "Let's get started shall we?"

* * *

_Riley_

Even though Cindy is going through difficult times right now, I still have to stay loyal to my gang. They look up to me, even though I'm the youngest member here. I lead by example, and they know I would never step out on them, but I wonder if I would. I know this shit may shock you, but I'm only here because I'm scared to step out. Does that make me a coward? Or does that make me a somebody with perseverance? Funny, Huey would just call me stupid, a dumbass. I don't want to hear that though.

"Ay!" Greg called me, "What do you want us to do with this nigga?"

I looked at the boy. He was even younger than me. He looked about twelve or ten. He was short and had curly hair. He wore glasses, but he was clearly physically strong. He didn't cry, but he looked scared as hell. He had already made a mistake, and he didn't even know it. I looked at the boy, smirking, watching his eyes widen in fear. I couldn't wait to scare the living shit out of him. He would probably thank him later on for it.

"Give him the freezer," I looked at Greg, "Don't go easy on his ass either."

"Mane, I won't," Greg told him eagerly as he dragged the boy across the street. I could hear the screams as soon as Greg's fit hit the other side of the street.

I nodded with a smirk on my face. Just as we were about to make a few exchanges with a few loyal donators, a group passed by me, the Goons.

"You on our turf, mane," The tall one stepped forward with folded arms and a frown. His tone was cold, inhumane. He was clearly the leader, the weakest because he probably cared about this shit more than any of the others behind him yet the most capable and experienced, "Now, I'm gone give yo dumb asses the opportunity to dip mane. I suggest that you do."

"And you think that I'm finna do what you want?" I matched his tone and held my ground, "Nigga, this is my turf. I know you've fucking heard of us, so don't start that shit with me. You know full fucking well that this isn't the turf you own. Now, back your ass up!"

"Look, mane," The leader lowered his voice, coming towards me, his eyes narrowed, "You a young soldier mane. I respect that, but if you don't move, I'll do what I have to just to maintain my title. I suggest that you move out of my way."

"Hell naw," I told him as my crew loaded their weapons discreetly, "I don't give up shit. And I'll do what I have to so I can maintain my title. So I suggest, that you move out of my way."

"Gladly," He told me as he swung towards my face before realizing that he was now in my grip, wincing as I twisted his hand so that he was wrist was broken, sounding with a snap. His crew charged towards me, but mine was already on them like white on rice, beating that ass.

There was blood everywhere by the time we were through, and their leader gave me a chilling reply that made my insides freeze up.

"I warned you, nigga," He spat the blood out. He was dark himself, but he looked so familiar. He got up as I realized who he was. He had lost so much weight that I hadn't even known who he was, Lamilton. He was still cold, mean, heartless. There no doubt that he still hated my damn guts, "But you ain't never listened to me. You sent me to fucking jail, Riley Freeman, and I can't wait to make sure you feel every damn bit of shit that I felt these past four years. You thought you was hard? Bitch, it's new young meat in town. Bet money you about to fall like Rome did. I'll be back, and next time, you getting that ass handed to you."

"Lamilton?" That's all I could process, "When did you?"

"Watch your ass, mane," He laughed evily, "That's what I would do if I was you."

He spat on the ground before turning, his crew turning behind him.

"Mane," Jarod stood next to me, staring at them, "I know you ain't scared. A lot of gangs said the same shit before, and ain't do not a damned thing!"

"I know that," I shook my head as I stared after Lamilton. That nigga was determined, and I knew that nigga meant it, "But this ain't the same. Them niggas coming back. And that's real shit."

"So what are we finna do?" Jarod asked me as I looked up to the sky.

"I," I shook my head as I looked up to the sky, wishing that my father was here, "I don't even know, mane."

"You gon figure it out," Jarod nodded, his green eyes visible in the night, "You always do."

And I didn't say anything, but on the inside, I was praying that he was right.

* * *

_Arielle_

I didn't want this to happen to Jazmine, not her. I can see her car all the way from here, and it looks terrible. Her silver Mercedes had crumbled as it collided with the truck driver in front of her, and we couldn't see any signs of her being anywhere but inside of the car. I was still running towards the car next to Huey.

Even though it was awkward, I would sacrifice it for Jazmine's life. I could only imagine how Huey would react if she died. I knew he wanted to kill somebody. We had both heard the loud crash before taking off towards the street. I just wanted the girl to live. Was that too much to ask?

I was so busy running that I had somehow managed to run into the biggest bitch of them all, Tasha Fight. She had her hair flipped over her shoulder, wearing a short black skirt, a graphic blue top, and yellow Converse sneakers. She gasped in shock before narrowing her eyes at me.

"Move, freak!" She told me, "Why the hell are you running?"

"Because," My voice went down about twenty octaves, "Jazmine just had a crash."

"I just saw her," Tasha scoffed as she examined her nails, "You can kiss my ass with that fake ass sob story."

"Then, where is she, Tasha?" Huey cut in.

She looked him up and down with a smirk, batting her eyelashes and stepping closer, "You're fine as hell. I'll tell you!"

"Today," I sighed as Tasha shot me an annoyed look and a retort.

"He's free merchandise now, Nordstrom, back up!" Tasha whined, "And she was going home, she was acting drunk or some shit."

"Acting?" Huey looked over at me, "Like pretending?"

"Oh," Tasha reconsidered her words, "No, she was drunk for real. That' s for sure, but she had the nerve to go off on me, so I told her to drive herself home."

"Dumbass!" I cried out in frustration as Tasha looked up at me and leaned back on her car, "That means that Jazmine's car really did crash, and that she really is in danger!"

"Well," Tasha gestured towards a running Huey, no doubt going to check on Jazmine "I had to find a way to keep him here somehow."

"Jazmine could be dead," I clenched my teeth, "And all you care about is getting Huey's number even though he clearly doesn't want to have anything to do with you? Have you lost your fucking mind?"

"You know what," Tasha lifted from her yellow car, "Jazmine chose to get drunk, and if she's dead, that's her own fault. I'm not about to sit here and cry about it. I'm pretty sure she's just injured. The front looks intact. She'll live."

"And you're not going to go fucking check on her. I thought she was supposed to be your fucking sister," I stepped forward as soon as she stepped back, clearly afraid.

"And?" She raised an eyebrow, "I'm damn sure not her mother. It's not my job to baby her."

"So you sit by and watch horrible stuff happen instead," I slammed her against the car, "I knew your fake hoe ass was no good."

"Like you're any different," She narrowed her eyes at me, "If I'm as fake as you say, why did you tell Jazmine to hang out with me in the first place? You're probably one of the reasons she's drinking now."

"Don't you fucking dare put that shit on me, Tasha," I warned her, "It wouldn't be wise to piss me off right now."

"Really?" Tasha asked me as she got in my face, smirking, "And what are you going to do about it? You weird ass bitch?"

"Ouch," I feigned hurt, "I like being weird, and I am a bitch. Thus, you're right, and do you know what that means?"

"Nothing," Tasha hopped off of the car and walked away from me, "Nothing important. You know what? Maybe I'll screw you're little new boy toy, Caesar? You fuck the homeless now? Oh, wait. You're homeless yourself, aren't you?"

"You don't even know me," I told her as Tasha nodded, laughing as she did so, "What the fuck would even make you say something like that to somebody?"

"My friend saw you at the shelter," Tasha told me as she grinned again, "She was volunteering and could not believe what she found."

"You are such a fucking bitch," I spat out, "How can anybody stand to hang around your evil ass?"

"I know right!" She squealed happily, "I'm the fucking shit. The last time I checked, Tasha Fight can do whatever she wants, whenever."

"You most definitely want your ass beat," I told her as I cracked my knuckles and laughed as she backed away from me, nervous and scared, "And I'm going to give you exactly what you want."

"I can ruin you, Arielle," She shook her head as she smiled nervously, "Think about this. Is this something that you want to do to yourself? I mean I don't want to, but I will, happily."

"You ruin people either way it goes," I sneered, my brown eyes no doubt twitching, "Just look at Jazmine! But unlike her, those little corny ass threats don't phase me. You may have her on a damn puppet string, but you can't put me on one. I can tell you that much."

"You aren't gonna do shit," Tasha decided to get tough all of inside, getting in my face.

"But you're going to talk it, huh?" I told her roughly as I pushed her to the ground and raised my hand towards her, "Wrong girl, Tasha."

_Ten Minutes Later…_

"What the hell did you do to her?" Huey looked at Tasha on the stretcher in horror, "I think you broke some things."

"Good," I looked at him, " She deserves it."

"Well," I looked at Jazmine's car, "how is she doing?"

He looked down, "She's breathing."

"Oh," I nodded sympathetically, "That's good, right?"

"She can't do it alone," He told me, "I gave her CPR until they hooked her up to the machine."

"Oh," I winced. That didn't sound good, "Well, I'm sure she'll be just fine."

"Um," Huey frowned,"Maybe."

* * *

_Jazmine_

_Twenty Minutes Earlier…_

_I was slightly aware that what I was doing was stupid and reckless, but I was also aware of how free I felt when the wind passed through my hair. I could feel the speed of the car moving through my body. Arielle was right. She and Huey are always right. They have everything, and I have nothing but shit. I am nothing but shit. _

_The speedometer moves up to seventy._

_I'm laughing now. The alcohol sits in my purse as I pull it out, taking a swig of it. It isn't cold, but it feels that way for a moment on my tongue before heating my throat a little. Since I'm used to it, I don't really feel the burning sensation. I smile. I love it. It feels good, damn good._

_Everybody hates me. I hate me. Even Tasha hates me, but that's nothing new. The only thing new is that I'm admitting that I care. I care that people don't like me, and I don't enjoy the haters that approach me in the halls. I can't even enjoy my makeover because it makes me feel superficial, terrible. _

_Eighty miles per hour._

_I wish that I could really tell people the truth about me, but I know that they would never understand me. I know that they could never really value the way I feel, or the way I want to be. I think of Mikayla and Jarod. I think of Huey, of Cindy and Arielle. I even think of Riley, but I'm going too fast, and soon, I can't remember anything but what's in front of me. _

_Ninety miles per hour._

_And I know that I should be happy that I can't remember, but it makes me more afraid. It doesn't make me feel any better like I thought it would. I feel so stupid, but I keep my feet on the accelerator. It's too late to slow down now. And I'm moving my hands around, letting go of the wheel. When did I become so irresponsible?_

"_She's a slut, Sarah!" My father's words rang through my hand._

"_Oh, I forgot it takes a lot of work to be a bitch."_

"_The life you wanted is the life you got."_

_One hundred miles per hour, the speedometer read, but I was still alive. _

_I must be invincible. _

_I keep going, not even scared. Is that bad? I take another swig of the alcohol, but I can't feel it. I'm numb, colder than ice in Antarctica. I see me and Huey at age ten. We're arguing, fighting as usual. I see me and Arielle meeting for the first time. I see Riley dribbling the ball and letting Cindy shoot. I see Cindy and I as we hug each other when her mother leaves- for good. Am I dying? _

_One hundred and twenty miles per hour._

_I should stop caring what everybody else thinks of me. I should start living for me. I should stop whining and do something about it, but I can't. It feels worst when I don't. Pretending isn't easy, being me isn't easy anymore, and all I want to do is be happy. Am I this awful? I think of Huey's face the day I dissed him, and I realize that I really am a terrible person. My life is literally flashing before my eyes.  
_

_One hundred and forty miles per hour._

_I think of my father. Will he be happy that he doesn't have to be bothered with me? Will he go start a new family with somebody else? I wonder if he loves his other woman better than he loves my mother. I wonder if they will ever stop fighting and realize that I just want them to come home. I just want anybody to pay attention to me, positively._

_One hundred and fifty miles per hour._

_I take a deep breath and turn the corner, and before I can even do anything about it, a big truck speeds down the street. I try to slow down, but it's clear that I'm not going to be able to stop. _

_I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. I tried._

_The driver doesn't even notice me screaming. He's bobbing his head to some stupid music. He's ugly too. Funny how I might die, but I'm still being rude to people._

_I'm sorry for dissing you guys._

_He looks up and tries to swerve out of the way, just as I do the same. Too bad we move in the same direction. I clench my eyes shut. I'm going to die. I'm going to die._

_I'm sorry for ever thinking that I could handle this on my own._

_Nothing is happening. I open my eyes and see the headlights right before they smash into me, and soon, I'm spinning around and around. I'm so scared that I can't even form any coherent thoughts._

_Oh my god, I'm so sorry._

"_Crash!" I can hear my car smash into something and the shattering of the glasses. Small little snippets of pain began erupting through my body. There's glass in parts of my skin, and I'm slightly aware that I'm bleeding. Then, it's more than a snippet of pain. It hurts like hell, maybe worst._

_I'm sorry may not be enough this time. Is it ever enough?_

_I'm crying now. I'm even screaming. I am in so much pain that I don't think I will ever walk again. I can't do this. I can't live. It hurts so bad. All I can feel is the pain. I can't register anything around me at all. People's voices are heard around me, and I'm told to hang on._

_Too bad I don't want to. It hurts so bad. I don't want to live anymore, not like this._

"_Jazmine!" I can hear a deep voice. Kevin? No, it's Huey. I would recognize that voice anywhere, "Hold on! I'm not going to let you die, alright?"_

"_Let me go," I think to myself, "I can't do this. I'm not strong enough."_

_The sirens sound down the street, and I take a breath. _

_And everything goes black._

* * *

So my midlife crisis is over..even though it's hopefully not midlife.

I was in such a great mood that I updated again. I was also shocked that even more people have favorited this story. You guys make me feel special! And school is over for me, so I should be able to update more often.

Please don't kill me. I know you all love Jazmine! But don't do it!

Shoutouts to:

Keysk554, Paige1292, YoungKong313, MissG2020, ShellieB, inadey (love your name!), and Cruella De'Chelle (missed you!) Thanks for reviewing.

Jazzy total Drama news, Cruella De'Chelle, inadey, musicgirl845, and tigersky15. Thank you for favoriting this!

I warned you that it was about to go down, so don't kill me or anything. Just review!

And thanks again! :)


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

* * *

**Disclaimer: Psssh! I don't own the Boondocks! My husband does**

* * *

"_This time won't you save me? Baby, I can feel myself giving up." –Nicki Minaj_

* * *

_Arielle_

Tasha was fine, unfortunately. I blame myself for not breaking enough stuff. I honestly wanted her to be in the hospital for as long as Jazmine might be. I hated the hospital. I had taken enough trips here to know that nothing good never came out of them. Everybody here either came out happy or sad. It was life or death, heaven or hell, and fifty- fifty. But the thing was, I hated chances. I hated all of them. I loved security more than anything, stability.

Maybe that's part of the reason that Jazmine and I don't get along as well as we could. She may have cried a lot, but she could take change and adapt to it rather quickly. I didn't always like it. I didn't always care for it, but I actually envy her ability to do it.

Now that I think of it, Jazmine's whole life has revolved around changing rather than enhancing. She tried to just redo instead of rethink the game plan that didn't work, her mentality. When things don't work out for her, she just changes to what she thinks is right instead of just changing her mindset about the situation. I wondered what she was thinking right now. Not that I would know. Huey is the only one in there with her.

I sit there as the white of the wall surround me. I think of how funny it is that this is the place where life begins, but it's also where it ends. It's the place where a mother holds her child for the very first time and makes promises that she won't always keep. It's the place a person goes to for a cold. And it's also a place where a man comes in with chest pains and leaves with cancer. The hospital represents that promise of living when death is merely minutes away from occurring. And the nurse holds your hand and promises that you'll live, but you die regardless.

And then what?

Nothing happens to you. Your crushed family is left to pick up the pieces and cry over something that you never believed would happen. And they all sit in black in a hot church even though half of them never knew you while some preacher preaches about stuff that a part of the family has never even bothered to listen to. But this is somehow supposed to provide them with hope?

But the worst part is the way that they know in their hearts that the person they loved will never come back and that no amount of special words can bring them back. Or they have that one moment when that special person was supposed to be there. They promised them. But when the time came, they were six feet under, not there to walk their kid down the aisle or watch them graduate. No, they were dead. And every fight, every kiss, every horrible but wonderful thing that had ever happened to them would never matter if that one, single person just came back for one day to let them know how wonderful they really are.

So the thought of Jazmine dying scares me to be honest. I don't know if anybody can take another death or rather another reaction to it as it is. And I don't want anybody close to me to die either because I don't know how I'm going to take it. So is that selfish? Am I bad friend?

Wait, Jazmine and I aren't really friends. We never have been. I can't change that just because she's in the hospital because that would be like a sympathy thing, and I haven't ever been one to resolve myself for ones. Thus, I can't really say I'm her friend. But I guess I could. Because frankly, you don't see anybody else in this hospital room who would beat up a girl, get five weeks detention, and two weeks of suspension for somebody who they didn't care about.

And my eyes would not water if I didn't care about somebody. Because I saw Jazmine when they pulled her out of the back of the ambulance and she did not look good. She looked terrible, actually. She was pale and lifeless. She moved like a rag doll and almost fell off of the stretcher. And when I looked closer, you could see a few pieces of shattered glass in her skin while the rusty blood fell upon it. She was barely breathing, barely living. And I wanted to cry, but I knew I had to stay strong for her.

This was Jazmine. And she had to bounce back. She just had to. Because if she didn't, then I knew a certain young man with an afro that would be so heartbroken that he wouldn't even be able to freak out about it anymore. And that in itself was sad because Huey Freeman didn't need anymore of a hard life than I did. He had enough of it as it was. I had always wanted to know, but it didn't matter. He wouldn't open to me. He didn't need anybody, especially not me. After all, he had enough to deal with without having to worry about trusting me or needing me. And at the end of the day didn't I prove him right?

I frowned as I lifted from the green, cushiony, chair I was in and looked at the white walls again. Why was I here? Why did I help my sworn enemy? Would she hate me when she woke up? Would I care? And even without answering, I knew the answer before I could even think it. And I couldn't wait for them to come in with any good news about Jazmine, any of it. Because I really didn't want her to die.

Because then I would go to jail for beating Tasha's ass all over again.

* * *

_Riley_

While Jarod and I were walking home, somebody just continuously decided that it was okay to blow my phone the fuck up. But when I saw who it was, I instantly felt my heart drop.

Huey never bothered to call anybody unless it was urgent. He was against "nigga technology", so for him to call me is big. Jarod looked over at me, no doubt worried by my facial expressions of distress. I looked back before turning away and answering it.

"Huey?" I tried to chuckle, but my voice was more like a sigh, "What's up?"

"Riley," His voice was urgent, "Where is Jarod?"

"Nigga," I rolled my eyes. My brother called me to ask for Jarod? And I thought something bad was happening, "You gay. Why the fuck would I even let you speak to another nigga? Do I need to smack you? Shit, this ain't right!"

"Riley!" Huey yelled at me. I frowned again. Uh oh, something actually was wrong with somebody, and that meant that I might actually have to give the phone to Jarod after all, "Jazmine is in the hospital."

"For what," I snorted. After all, Huey could still overreact when it came to Jazmine. Sometimes, I think his ass dreams about her, "Anorexia?"

"She had a car crash," Huey yelled, "And she's loosing blood fast! It's too thin, and they need a donor."

I immediately turned to Jarod and handed him the phone while I stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say. I could see the way Jarod's face fell before he nodded, trying to keep his voice straight. I didn't want to see him break down. I was practically on the verge of doing it myself. This is why I hate getting close to everybody.

"Drinking?" I could hear Jarod get loud as Huey's stayed calm, no doubt, "But? Loosing blood? Where's Tom?"

I frowned as I heard that. The bitch couldn't even be there for his own daughter? When did she get in there in the first place? That shit was cold, even in my own eyes. I mean just because you a thug, it doesn't mean you can't be there for your family, especially your little girl. Mane, I wish Huey or another nigga I know would pull this kind of shit on my damn daughter. I'd be the first face there to be the one she'd see when she woke up.

"What the fuck do you mean he's not there?" Jarod got louder as my crew turned around before quickly dispersing. I looked away too because that shit was awkward- as hell.

"Well," Jarod looked up in the sky before biting his lip and answering Huey's demands, "Okay."

He hung up the phone before handing it back to me and shaking his head. I headed for the bus stop and instantly paid the fee, knowing exactly where we needed to go. He was so mad that his lightskinned ass was turning red and everything. I felt bad for him, "You alright, man?"

"She can't die," Jarod was going off, "She's stuck up as hell sometimes, but that's my motherfucking big sister. She's cool as hell! I don't want her to die."

I sat there silently, knowing he really didn't want me to say anything.

"I mean why did this have to happen to her? Shit's not right."

I shook my head as the sky became tinges of orange and pink and shit. The sky was getting darker, funny, it was just how life seemed to be, dark as hell. When would shit ever get back to normal.

"You're right," I shook my head as I looked at the people next to us tremble in fear. I wanted to scream that I wasn't a terrible nigga. I'm not like the others. Am I? Or am I worst than everybody else?

"Man, all I know is somebody is getting they ass whooped," Jarod was frowning before slamming his fist into a seat and glaring at all the people who even dared to look his way, "Why the hell would Jazmine even pull this damn shit? Did she fucking want to die?"

I sat silently as he continued to rant angrily.

"And why the fuck didn't Tom notice what was going on with her lately?" Jarod was going ham. I looked around at the people who were whispering and pulling out their phones, no doubt to post this on some website or something, "What the hell is going on?"

"Shit happens," I shook my head and shrugged before I even realized what I was saying, "Get over it."

Jarod's eyes narrowed as I realized who I sounded like. It was impossible. I wasn't even as smart as Huey or as brilliant as Huey. And I damn sure wasn't as cold hearted as Huey. Was I? He answered my retort, his voice cold, "No."

We sat there awkwardly until we pulled up to the hospital, looking at each other quietly before exiting the building. Funny, everything was changing, but I wanted to remain the same.

And even funnier?

It was all going to change anyways.

* * *

_Cindy_

Today, I was in the group meeting with some other kids. One girl, her name was Bailey, had cancer at my age. She didn't have hair or anything, and she looked pissed at the world. She was Jazmine's shade, and with her golden eyes, she didn't look too happy. I couldn't blame her. Who would want to be stuck here with cancer at age sixteen?

And there was another guy there, Tony. He had to be about fourteen or fifteen. His hair was black, and you could tell that he was Mexican the moment that he opened his mouth. He was addicted to burning things. He called himself a self proclaimed pyromaniac at first. Then, it got worst. He couldn't function normally without setting things on fire. It was only supposed to distract him. From what, he wouldn't say. He told me the moment I walked in that he never would.

And then, there was a smaller girl in the room too. She had to be about eight or nine, and she wouldn't talk to anybody at all. She had short brown hair with pale, white skin, and green eyes. She looked even more pissed than Bailey. And worst of all, she made Huey look like a somewhat happy person, and that was what made me more scared than anybody else in the world. She wouldn't even talk to anybody, and when I asked for her name, she scowled at me before turning around in her seat.

There were other people in the room too. But they looked pretty normal for the most part to me, so I didn't really talk to them. But then again, I didn't look strange. Did I? I didn't know. I didn't really want to know. After all, I hadn't really looked too long at a mirror. I was scared of what I would see if I looked too long.

Dr. Heat finally walked in and slammed the door, her long dress trailing on the carpet floor as the others looked up expectantly at her, all smiling. Well, almost all of them smiled. The little girl still scowled, turning her back from the woman before anyone could even say anything more. Her small face concentrated on the floor in front of her.

"Hello, everybody," Dr. Heat smiled at all of us as she crossed one leg over the other, "I see that some of us have returned. Bailey, Tony, it's nice to see you back."

"Whatever," Bailey rolled her two golden eyes as Dr. Heat kept her composure, like she wasn't getting glared at.

"Hola," Tony smiled at Dr. Heat with pretty teeth, "Como estas?"

"I am doing quite well," Dr. Heat smiled again as she looked around the room before changing her voice to a more childlike tone, "And how about you Tori?"

The small girl didn't turn around as Dr. Heat gestured towards her. She held her spot as everybody rubbed their arms in discomfort from the little girl's actions.

"Well okay then," Dr. Heat frowned a little before smiling again, "We have a new member today, Cindy!"

She said it like this was some sort of fun club or something. There was absolutely nothing fun about it. Her long blue dress may have been my favorite color, but that didn't mean that she was getting props for it. I still didn't trust her, not by a long shot.

"Hi, Cindy," The people in the group stated as they all looked at me with smiles in their faces.

"Now," Dr. Heat leaned up in her seat as she looked at me for a brief moment, "We will go around the circle and introduce ourselves. Feel free to say anything that you want."

Anything? She thought she was slick. She thought that she could trick me into fleshing out my feelings? Well, she was dead wrong. Hell, I didn't give a damn if we did share the same name. It didn't mean anything. It didn't mean that I had to tell her anything. And that little moment that happened in her office yesterday didn't mean anything to me.

"I'm Bailey," The girl stated as she shook her head before continuing, "I was diagnosed with cancer when I was about twelve. When other kids were going to parties and having sleepovers, I was here getting chemotherapy."

Everybody sat there quietly and let her keep going. They didn't look sad or heart wrenched or sympathetic. They looked like a group of people who genuinely wanted to hear what the other person said, and it made me feel a little bit better.

"Everybody made fun of me," She looked down at the ground, "Nobody wanted to be friends with me, especially when my hair started to fall out. Then, they started calling me names. I was a freak, a loser. Nobody wanted to have anything to do with me. And it hurt, it hurt a lot. I didn't try to kill myself. I just didn't want to talk to anybody anymore. I locked myself in my room. It got to the point where I didn't want to eat anymore, or sleep anymore. And I would honestly sit in my room and wonder what the hell was wrong with me."

Everybody nodded as she spoke the words, murmuring instances of their own.

"And it was hard," Bailey looked at her hands before looking up. Her gold eyes didn't show one sign of tearing up at all, "It was really hard. I thought I was going insane, and I was. I really was. But yeah, that's all I have to say about it."

The people around me looked on and clapped. Dr. Heat smiled at her before lifting from the khaki chair she was in and standing, "Thank you Bailey. You have improved from last week, and you are becoming much more open. That's a good thing."

The group continued to applaud before stopping. There were a couple of others saying their names too. A woman named Kayla, a man named Rick, and another woman, they just didn't manage to captivate me or whatever. I don't know. I just wasn't paying attention to them.

"I'm Tony," The boy smiled at us, "And I am a pyromaniac. I liked setting stuff on fire. But it was for fun, at first. I just liked the feeling. Call me what you want, but it was like Baley not talking. I didn't want to do anything else. It was hard to function if I didn't just set something on fire for a minute. It was scary."

The room had gotten silent as he spoke the words. They were falling on me like layers as I listened. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I knew that it was wrong," Tony lowered his head, "But the adrenaline it gave me was incredible. It made me feel unstoppable, powerful. I couldn't stop, until one day. I was setting things in my house on fire. It was for fun or whatever. I didn't think anything bad would happen."

My hands clutched the carpet, and all of a sudden, I didn't want to hear it anymore. I didn't want to have anything to do with it. His story was starting to make me feel connected because I could understand it, and that wasn't good. It wasn't good at all.

"I tried to stop listening to that voice in my head," He frowned, "But it wasn't working. And I kept grabbing the lighter. Soon, I wasn't caring about who I was hurting or how I was hurting myself. I just wanted to light stuff to the fire. And that voice, it was driving me to the edge."

I was nodding now. I understood the small voice all too well.

"I'm not schizophrenic," Tony looked up, "But it's hard to just kick old habits, you know? I set my family's house on fire, and I was arrested. They sent me here as part of my charges, and I haven't lit anything up in about two months."

"I'm happy for you, Tony," smiled while the circle applauded again, "What about you Cindy? Something you want to share with the group?"

"Um," I muttered nervously, "I took meds, and I ended up here. That's all I wanted to say."

I expected that much to piss Dr. Heat off, but she only clapped her hand together and went, "That's so great!"

The little girl turned around and narrowed her eyes at me before stating, "No, it's not! Everybody should just go home!"

"Is something bothering you, Tori?" Dr. Heat lowered her voice a few octave to make it sound nicer, I guess.

"No," She turned to face me and the group. Her small blue Sketchers swung over the rims of her chair, "I'm fine."

But I knew and she knew that her statement was a lie.

* * *

_Huey_

I'm not going to lie. When Jarod's blood finally tested as a match for Jazmine's, I was relieved. I thought that he wouldn't make it in time. She was already unconscious from losing so much blood, and when they began pulling out glass her heart rate was declining before it came back. I didn't really care about Professor Elliot or her project, not if Jazmine would live.

And what was worst was that I wasn't supposed to be her friend. I had every right known to man to hate her, but I couldn't. We never talked. We always fought, and she always said that she hated me, even then. Not that I care. I know that she doesn't mean it. But I want her to live so that I can here he say it. She can say whatever she wants, actually. I just want her to be okay. I just want her to live. I want her to do anything but die.

I know that death is inevitable, but I also know that I don't want her to leave this Earth. She can be an asshole a lot. She can yell at me. She can most definitely get on my nerves like I get on hers, but I doubt that her death would solve anything.

I know that I'm practical. And I know that it makes absolutely no sense to anybody that I'm here. But I don't think that I can handle losing anybody else in my life. Even if Jazmine and I never speak again, I think I'll be okay as long as oxygen and blood are running through her veins.

"Beep!" The monitor was making noise as I looked at it. It was hitting the flat line, and the doctors were pacing. Jarod was yelling, and everything was moving in slow motion.

"We may have to shock her!"

"Move! Move! Move!"

"Hang on, honey!"

And all I could see was Jazmine. She was so still, and even though I hadn't had a true conversation with her in about three or four years, I knew exactly what she was thinking. She was trying to leave because she thought it was hard. I scoffed at her. She didn't want to face the pain of whatever she had been trying to do all by herself, but come to think of it, none of us could do this on our own. Ever since my friends went into their own things, we had become dysfunctional. We couldn't do this alone. I couldn't do this alone, and I was tired of trying.

"Jazmine!" Jarod was shaking his sister, "Come on! Don't leave me here! Fight!"

But it was still beeping in the same straight line. And Jarod was still shouting.

"Huey," He looked at me, "You know how to get under her skin, right?"

"Um?" I was shocked at how normal I sounded, "Yeah?"

"Then come on!" He shouted as the doctors still ran around.

"Clear!"

Jarod had moved out of the way. His green eyes shifted from left to right as he finally backed away, letting the doctors do the work.

"Jazmine," I kneeled next to her, making sure she could hear my voice, "I know that you think that nobody is here for you."

"Clear!"

"And that nobody is your friend," I added as the doctors pumped her chest, "But I'm here. Cindy would take some work, but I'm sure that she feels the same way. And Jarod? He wants you alive too."

"Clear!"

"You can't give up," I didn't yell because I knew she tuned me out sometimes when I did that, "I don't want you dead. I need you to wake up."

"Beep!"

"Clear!"

"Jazmine," I lowered my voice like I was telling her a secret, "I'm sorry that I treated you like an asshole when we were friends. And I'm sorry that I didn't always act like the nicest guy. But I was only trying to toughen you up."

The line moved up a little bit. And I knew that she could handle whatever else I was going to say.

"You shouldn't be friends with Tasha, Kevin doesn't deserve you."

"Clear!"

"Everybody isn't your friend, Jazmine," I slammed my fist down as another beep hit while the line moved up a little bit further, "But you're old enough to distinguish real from fake. And you can handle this if you just wake up!"

"Clear!"

"Beep Beep!"

"And," I was rambling now, "I promise that I'll be here. But I can't lose anybody, especially not you! You're my best friend. And I need you around! Okay? So can you wake up?"

"Beep! Beep! Beep!"

"Jazmine!"

"Beeeep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep!"

"She's stable!"

I don't think I had been more relieved in my life.

* * *

_Jazmine_

I was in so much pain that it felt easy to drift away from what I knew was living. But I didn't care. Why forget when I could just leave? It was going to be simple. Even though I was in the darkness, I was moving towards a better feeling, and the pain was slowly fading away from me.

And then, there was light. And I could see faces. I could see my great grandmother smiling at me with a fresh plate of cookies, and my grandfather, Timothy, was dancing like he used to. I could see Malcom X with his glasses. I could see Rosa Parks laughing with Martin Luther King. I moved towards them. I could live. I could do it.

But just as I moved towards that side, the clouds beneath me gave way before I realized that they were there. And the golden gates moved around everybody that I could see. And I screamed as the man closed the gates while I fell through the sky.

I landed in another place. It was hot. I was scared. There were people around me. I recognized them from things that Huey had shown me. Ronald Regan, Adolf Hitler, and people's names who were doing the devil's work were there.

"No!" I could hear myself shout the words, "No, no, no! I don't belong here!"

"You do," A voice laughed, "You are a wicked person! Where did you think you would end up?"

"Stop it!" I was clawing at the walls and falling as fire burst through them. I could feel the heat, the burns on my ten fingers, but I couldn't process that it felt so real. I wanted to believe that it was all a dream, that it wasn't happening. The flames refuted my theory as they consumed my body and I screamed out as I saw Santa Claus above me, waving down at me, "Help me!"

Santa laughed as he rode away, his reindeer going along with him. But he wasn't real. So this couldn't be real? Could it?

"The heat getting to your head, Jazmine?" The voice called out to me, "Huh?"

"Stop it!" I was crying now, "Please. I'm sorry! I want to live."

"No," The voice was getting louder and angrier, "You can't, remember? You wanted this!"

"I just wanted to forget!" I stomped my foot before screaming out in agony, "Stop this! Help me!"

"Nobody can hear you!" The voice laughed evilly while I pulled on my hair in pain, screaming and kicking, "You can't leave here."

"Jazmine!"

"Huey?" I turned around as I looked through the flames, but I couldn't see him.

"You have to wake up!"

Didn't he know I was trying as hard as I could? The flames came up to the middle of my thigh. I screamed as I tried to blow on it.

"I know that you think nobody is here for you!"

"Don't listen to him," The voice yelled out.

The flames kept moving up my leg and towards my abdomen. I ran away before Hitler grabbed me roughly and threw me. I was sailing through the air with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I knew I was going to fall. I just knew it.

"Everybody isn't your friend!"

Funny, I already knew that. So why didn't I learn from my mistakes the first time? Why didn't I just figure out how to deal with it. Oh, yeah, because I'm stupid. God, I'm so stupid. And the flames were moving towards my shoulders at that.

"Please," I called out, "Help me!"

"Noooo!" The voice was dwindling as I lifted into the air.

"You can handle this if you just wake up!"

Could I?

"Do you want to?" Another voice asked me. I didn't know who it was, but it was more calm, more willing.

"Do I want to what?"

"Do you want to live?"

I frowned. When I was alive it had hurt. When I was dead, it hurt. What was the difference? I didn't think it was worth it. And it was scary being in the dark.

"Do you," The voice was impatient, and the flames returned, "want to live?"

"Yes!"

"Then," The voice paused before it's laughter filled my ears, "Do it."

And then, I could instantly feel myself being lifted, and there were shocks being sent through my body. But I was living. I was in pain, but I wasn't burning. I could hear voices around me. I could feel the sheets beneath me. And I was breathing. I could hear Huey. Where was Dad? Where was Mom?

I had to stay calm. I could end up being dead for real if I didn't. And Jarod, I could hear him too. They were trying to tell them to leave, but they wouldn't do it. I felt really bad. I was making a big mess of things.

_Great going, Jazmine. _

And I could hear Huey saying something about being sorry. It wasn't his fault though! I was the one who was being stupid. I was the one put the alcohol in the car. I was the one who practically pissed on my best friends. If anything, I should be the sorry one. I should be dead. But I'm not. I was sorry. I was probably the most sorry of them all.

And even though I knew I was wrong for feeling it, and that he would never, ever feel the same way, I still thought it.

_I wish things could be different because I love you. Please don't hate me. The girl you see in front of you isn't what's on the inside. I would give anything for you to see that._

And without thinking, I knew that I meant every last word.

* * *

And that's chapter ten, folks.

So, yeah, Jazmine's still alive!

Etc..

I would also like to say that when I checked my reviews I was a little shocked to see so many. Lol.

Shout-outs (ohhhh yeah!):

Keysk554, shellieB, YoungKong313, inadey, MissG2020, Paige1292, Jazzy411 total drama news, danni273, and chakira16

I am also please to add Keysk554, shellieB, YoungKong313, and chakira16 to the VIP list of reviewers! My other VIPs know who they be!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really appreciate all of you. For those of you who aren't VIPs yet, you'll get there if you keep going.

I'll try to update soon! So be on the lookout for eleven!

Also, I kind of need a favor. I'm trying to do a scholarship for the value of 2,500.00, and it requires that I get people to view my recycling blog page, AND click on the websites link. Basically, I advertise for them while spreading word about recycling. Doing this gives me one view! Please, do this! Here is the link below:

.?spref=fb

And review folks!


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. I admitted it. Don't sue. I'm too broke!**

* * *

"_I need this, this gentle down breakdown Oh please, just, just let me break down."- Jack Johnson_

* * *

_Riley_

I couldn't believe it. We had been here waiting for Jazmine to wake up for two fucking days, and Tom and Sarah's asses still weren't here! Jazmine was scheduled to wake up soon, and where were they? Nobody fucking knew! This girl ain't even my kid. We don't talk like that. We just grew up together, but I'm at the hospital, here for her ass like she's my blood. Jarod has calmed down, but he's even more pissed. No gang activities have been going on either. Half the town is just too shocked about Jazmine's accident to do anything. This room is stuffed with fuzzy, plump animals. Even Uncle Ruckus, is in this room with us, shaking his head.

"Just like a nigga," Uncle Ruckus lowered his voice so that if Jazmine was actually awake she wouldn't be able to hear him, "leaving they little babies behind! Who would dare leave this little angel all alone?"

I shook my head and ignored him. Ruckus had been harassing us all day long. Hell, I wanted the girl's parents to show up myself. Then, maybe Ruckus would shut the fuck up. Didn't he have another job to do anyway?

"Ain't you sposed to be at work?"

"Look, junglebunny," Ruckus pointed his finger at me, "I'm the janitor here too, remember?"

"You the janitor everywhere!" I threw my hands up, "Where the hell don't you work? How you got all these jobs yet you still live in a shack?"

"Shut that nigga talk up!" Ruckus hollered before covering his hands and wincing, "Sorry."

Huey shot him a dirty look. He hadn't even leget in two days. Unless it was time to use the restroom, he didn't leave Jazmine's side. He hadn't even moved to eat. I knew that nigga was hungry. I don't care if a hoe was about to die. Damn, A nigga still gotta eat. I mean, starving clearly doesn't save lives.

Jazmine looked bruised up, actually. She still had bandages all over her and everything, but eerily enough, she looked peaceful and sweet lying there on the white bed. Everybody was just beginning to relax too, until two familiar voices hit the door.

"What did she do now?"

"Tom!" Sarah announced angrily, "She's hurt!"

"And? You don't think that she's to blame for this somehow? Her and that Kevin?"

I hadn't even seen Kevin roll through here either, which wasn't shocking. He was probably messing around with Tasha. Wait, she was too injured to do anything. I stifled my laughter as Huey and Arielle both shot me a look.

"Just like a nigga," Uncle Ruckus shook his head furiously, "Always have to do this shit at the wrong time. Look at em. Causing a scene. Poor Sarah. Oh, the heart of the great white woman. She is superior indeed."

"And?" Sarah's voice was getting louder, and Huey was getting pissed off. I could tell. Me? I didn't care so much. I mean if they wanted to act ignorant that was their choice. Black or white, they looked stupid as hell, "Maybe if you raised your daughter!"

"My daughter?" Tom was getting loud, "Well what about our daughter? We don't share a daughter?"

"You're never home!"

"What," Tom yelled again, "so I can find Usher in my closet again? Fuck that house! Fuck you! I hate you, bitch! You're a lying, cheating hussy, and I want nothing to fucking do with you."

Damn, Sarah was cheating? I shook my head. I couldn't really blame her. I mean Tom wasn't exactly a saint himself, not with Jarod around. Oh, shit. Jarod was in the room, and there was no way that you couldn't tell that Tom was the father. This would be good.

"Hello?" Jazmine's faint voice made everybody turn as she coughed a little bit and winced, no doubt at the light, "Huey?"

"That was stupid," Huey rolled his eyes, even though we all knew he was relieved, "what were you thinking?"

"I-"

"Tom," Sarah was standing at the door with a look of disgust on her face as she looked from Jarod to Jazmine to the door, "You'd better get to this goddamn door right now!"

"I don't have time for cheating hoes like you."

I winced. That was a wrong choice of words, but I had to admit. Tom had gotten a little heartless lately. He wasn't as compassionate as the old Tom. I was kind of enjoying seeing this. Tom was hardly ever mad, but something told me that the old Tom was about to make an appearance, because all hell was about to break loose right now.

He stormed into the room and started yelling almost instantly. That is, until he saw Jarod.

"I can explain."

"I knew it!" Sarah hollered out as she grabbed some of Jazmine's stuffed animals, "I knew you were fucking somebody else. You were always so quick to yell at me. But where were you, Tom? Where were you when I was crying at night?"

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Sarah was hollering at the top of her lungs, "You're sorry? Why? Because your daughter is sitting in the hospital bed? Because you weren't there for us? Because you weren't there for her?"

"but Usher can be?"

"He makes me happy, Tom!" Sarah wiped a tear from her cheeks, "That's more than what I can say for you."

"Well, you know what?" Tom looked at her, his eyes hard, "I'm happy too! So fuck you and your emotions."

Damn, Tom was becoming somebody I could look up to. That's how you put a bitch in check. She was sitting there looking all sad and shit. Oh, well, I blamed her. She shouldn't have gone out with a bitch named Tom in the first place. I mean, dang.

Sarah picked the flowers and threw them, causing all of us to hop out of the way.

"You're a liar!" She was crying and everything, "you're a liar and a cheater and I hate you!"

"Sarah," Tom was getting soft on her. I just lost my respect, "I didn't mean that."

But the glass was hitting the wall and colliding on the floor, even now. Where the hell was security?

"You're being so ridiculous!"

"Stop!"

It was in a whisper, and you could barely hear it. Jazmine had her eyes wide open, and she was struggling to lift herself from the bed. Her eyes were narrowed, "Can you two stop snapping at each other long enough to realize that I'm here?"

"It's not always about you, honey," Tom told her, his own eyes narrowed as he sat beside her.

"You're right," Jazmine wheezed, "It's all about you two's fucking problems! You guys haven't even been in my life since forever, and now you want to pull this shit on me? I live at home by myself. You're never there!"

"Jazmine, you're straining yourself," Tom looked pathetic.

"It's always been like that," Jazmine was so hoarse. She sounded so weak, so fragile. Damn, I sound like a bitch nigga. But it's true. Tears were coming down her face, and she was starting to look worst than she already was, "Always. You guys fight so much that it drive me insane! Just shut up! If you don't want each other, that's fine. Just stop acting like five year olds in the process!"

"You don't understand," Sarah's voice was cold, considerably colder, "It's not easy being an adult."

"It's not easy being a kid without parents, either," Jazmine was crying and hiccupping. She looked awful, "Especially when they call you a slut!"

"I never did that!" Sarah stood agape, "That was Tom!"

"And you just stood by and watched," Jazmine managed to snort, "Please, if you really knew me, which you don't, you would understand that I'm not like that."

"Then, explain getting drunk, Jazmine!" Tom hollered at her so loudly that even I wanted to cuss him out.

"I was trying to forget everything about this!" Jazmine hollered back, her voice suddenly strong, "I hate that my life is this way. I don't want to deal anymore. Between you and Tasha and Huey reminding me of how I used to be, I just wanted to forget the pain!"

"Well, did it work?" Tom was being just plain rude.

"Hello? Hello?" Ruckus had pulled out his phone, "We have a nigger argument in room 401 at the Woodcrest Hospital. Code black! Code black! There is a white woman and a mulatto in the room!"

"It did," Jazmine sobbed, "that's what was scary!"

"And whose fault is that?"

"Tom!"

"Forget it," Jazmine's voice got so venomous that even Jarod and I hopped back, "He's dead to me. Only this time I mean it."

"Jazmine."

"Freeze! Hospital Security!"

"Hehe, why hello, Mr. Police Offficer , sir." Uncle Ruckus smiled at the frowning man in uniform, "How are you on this fine day that the great white man provided for all of us on this special day?"

"Um," The man raised an eyebrow as he looked at the big cock eyed monstrosity before him, "And you are?"

"Uncle Ruckus," He replied with a toothy grin, "No relation. And these niggas just tried to kill each other."

"Right," The cop frowned again as he looked at the pair on the right, glaring at each other from their opposite sides of the room, "Ma'am, is everything alright?"

Sarah looked up from Tom's gaze with her blue eyes, a frown on her face, "Yeah, it is."

"Are you alright?" The cop had softened his tone significantly as he looked at Jazmine.

"I will be," Jazmine's voice was quiet but firm, "I promise you that."

He nodded, "Yeah, you sure? You can tell me."

The police officer shot a glare at Sarah and Tom, who decided to avert their eyes like the bitch ass niggas they were. Jazmine just frowned again before nodding, and looking at the door, "Yeah, I am."

He sighed before looking around the room and handing me a card, "Call me if anything else happens, alright?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I will."

The cop walked out of the door quietly before everybody sighed and plopped down in their seats. The tension was thick in the room. I awkwardly excused myself. And pretty soon, everybody else followed suit. Hell, I wasn't even about to sit through that shit. I don't care what nobody says. Tom is still a bitch nigga.

"Bitch ass nigga."

Even granddad thinks so.

* * *

_Jazmine_

My head was throbbing. I wanted to just grab another bottle, again. I swear it would hurt me so much less. I couldn't do this. I didn't want to listen to the fighting, I didn't want to feel so goddamn empty, I just wanted to break down or forget.

But breaking down wasn't an option.

"Well, why did you do it?" My dad prodded.

It was never an option, ever.

"Can you hear me?"

All my life, I cried. All my life, I was the weak one. I was the one in the wrong. I was too sweet, too naïve, too believing, too everything. And I was tired. I was so damn tired of being the sweet little Jazmine that everybody thought they still knew.

"Huh?"

They didn't live with me. They popped in and out to give me cash and then left again. My mom brought Usher over whenever he wasn't on tour. And for what? I hated it. I hated everything. But more importantly, I hated me. I hated myself so much for not being strong enough to take it. Why couldn't I just grow up?

"Jazmine!"

I looked up and then averted my own eyes from his angry ones. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't. Everything in my life wasn't okay, and I was so tired of holding it all in. I was so tired of pushing everybody away who I needed the most.

"Answer my question!"

"Tom!"

"Answer it!"

Fine, he wanted to know? He wanted to know? I would tell him.

"I did it," My voice had come back so quickly that I wasn't even sure if I was dreaming, "because I wanted some sort of escape. If you didn't give a shit, then I found something that made me feel halfway better than shit."

"That is no excuse!"

"You asked why," I said lowly as I met eyes with him, "And you're getting an answer."

"Jazmine! You can't talk to me that way!"

"You weren't there!" I yelled out so loudly that both of my parents jumped, "You weren't there when I made the cheerleading squad, you weren't there when I cried because I didn't think I was good enough. You were never there!"

Nothing. Not a thing.

"And when you were there, it was even worst," I paused before looking up again, "You would fight each other, yell all night long! I did what I thought was best for me. And when kids that I thought were worth it finally paid attention to me, you weren't there to do it for them! I was lost without you! But you two were so wrapped up in each other, I didn't even exist anymore."

"You did!" My mom was crying now.

"But I didn't did I?" I looked at her before focusing in on my dad, "I sat there and discovered alcohol when you weren't there. And even though I'm old enough to know right from wrong, you damn sure weren't there to stop me. That's why I did it."

It was so quiet.

"I did it too forget everything that ever hurt me, and it worked, it finally worked. I was finally gliding with the rest of the world." I winced as I remembered myself moving down the street.

Still nothing, silence.

"And it worked. It worked too well, and by the time I wanted to know, it was too late. I don't," I sucked back in the tear that threatened to fall, "I don't expect you to understand anything. I just thought that would answer your question."

My dad looked at me, "I can't."

My mouth dropped, "What?"

"I can't do this. Whenever I look at you, all I see is her."

"Dad," I was crying now, "Wait, no, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," My dad was walking towards the door, leaving us, leaving me, "I'm so sorry, Jazmine."

"Don't," I was saying it, but he couldn't even hear me. Could he?

"Tom! Tom!" My mom was calling him, but he was already gone. I would never see him again.

"I'm sorry, Mom!" I wailed into her chest.

She pulled me away and looked into my eyes, "Don't be."

* * *

_Arielle_

Sitting out here with Huey and Riley and Jarod was kind of awkward. And even though Caesar had offered to come by, I turned him down.

After all, two boyfriends of different time periods don't really alleviate dramatic situations.

So, now we were out here, and just as I thought Jazmine and her family members were making a little bit of progress, guess who walks out of the door talking about how they can't do that shit?

"Bitch ass nigga!" Riley slammed his fist in the chair before Huey could even react, causing everybody else in the waiting room to shift awkwardly then stare.

You guessed it, Thomas Dubois, the white man's humble slave. The perfect example of uppity, stuck up. I couldn't even say he was just the white man's slave. No, he was the slave of his own mentality. And by doing that to himself, he was his own failure. He didn't make anything better for himself. He didn't make any great impressions on my world. But if he kept this up, he would make a big impression on somebody else's.

"Walking out?" Riley was still going off, "On your own kid? That's a bitch move, Tom!"

"I don't expect you to understand, Riley," Tom raised his finger, "I can't be there. She hates me. Sarah hates me. I hate Sarah, and when I see Jazmine, I see Sarah."

"Whatever," Huey had finally spoken up in a voice so cold that everybody was shivering, literally, "You're a no good bastard. You want to walk out on her? For what? Because she looks like the woman you screwed until you didn't want to anymore? Guess what? You're either gonna get over it, or she will."

"Fine," Tom shrugged, "I don't care."

"Then, don't," His voice was so cold. Oh, god, I was actually scared as hell. I wanted to pee on myself, and no doubt, Mr. Dubois did too. He looked like he had seen a ghost, "Let her grow up hating you. I don't care. But she will."

"And why do you give a fuck?" Mr. Dubois spat, "Do you love her or something?"

"If I did," Huey eyed him, "You wouldn't have to worry about that. Would you?"

Tom fidgeted before walking past all of us and towards the exit doors, "I've got to go."

"Yeah," Huey shook his head, "I bet you do."

We all sat there awkwardly, listening to the automatic doors open and close. And we all watched as Thomas Dubois walked through them, standing tall. His gray coat seeming brighter than the mess he was leaving behind. We sighed.

"That nigga is a bitch!"

"I'm leaving, " Huey announced.

"Yeah," Riley smirked at me, "me too."

They were always leaving me!

"Hey!" Riley called out to Huey's retreating form.

"What?" Huey paused with a roll of his eyes as he looked at his younger brother.

Riley laughed for a moment before smirking, looking like Huey with braids, "You know that you admitted that you love the bitch right?"

He shrugged, "She's not a bitch anymore. She's just Jazmine."

"Sprung ass nigga! I love Jazmine looking ass nigga! I'm like Uncle Ruckus looking ass nigga! In lo-"

"Wooosh!"

Riley pulled me down on the ground before I could even react. I was about to cuss him out! Who did he think he was, pulling me and shit!

"Dang, trying to kill your own flesh and blood? That's cold mane!"

And I turned around just in time to see the katana in the wall behind us, smoking hot.

"I'm leaving," Huey stated again, "it would be in your best interest not to follow me."

We nodded. He didn't even have to tell me twice.

That smoking katana made me never want to go near him again.

* * *

_Huey_

I was back in the room with Jazmine, now. After the blow up with her family and all, somebody had to sit with her so she could sort stuff out. And now, we were kind of back to square one. Funny how life had changed from two ten year olds trying to save the world to everything just losing its appeal.

"Why did you do it?"

She looked up at me before shaking her head and sitting up and groaning, no doubt in pain.

"Take it easy," I told her before snorting and adding, "I mean all you had to do was answer the question, not kill yourself."

She sighed again before readjusting herself on the pillow and nodding, "I wanted to forget."

"Forget what?" I looked at her agape, "What in the world do you need to forget?"

"My parents," She looked away from me again, "They weren't there. That's why I got all jittery whenever we were alone and you asked about them. They were too busy fighting to really notice I was there."

I nodded. That sounded about right.

"And I thought it was alright at first. I could do whatever I wanted. I was living every kid's dreams!"

"But," I interrupted her, "you weren't."

"Of course not," She laughed in such a dark manner that I flinched, "When they were there, they were fighting the whole time, they made me miserable."

"But…" I pressed her.

"But I wanted them to turn around and notice that something was wrong with me," She lowered her voice a little, "I wanted somebody to care."

"Jazmine," I rolled my eyes, "You could've just talked to me."

"No, I couldn't have," She retorted as I looked at her again, "You wouldn't have understood, and I would have been too sensitive too really grasp anything you were saying. Yeah, you would've been real, but that's not what I wanted. And Cindy had way to much stuff going on to really listen. And Arielle, she hated me then!"

"So you didn't even try," I growled, "you just gave up on our friendship like that?"

"I didn't think you would care," She rolled her own eyes, "And it hurt like hell watching you with Arielle, then."

"Why?" I couldn't understand why she would say that. But deep down, I knew I did.

"Because," She bit her lip before looking right into my eyes, "I loved you. I loved you a lot, and between you, and my parents, and my sensitivity, it all seemed so simple then. Funny, real funny."

"So you couldn't just tell me that?" I looked right back at her.

"No," She sighed again before averting her gaze, "I couldn't."

"What about now?" I glanced at her, "Do you still feel the same way?"

There was a long pause before I finally heard her, "No."

"Oh," I nodded before letting her go on, "Just checking."

"But it was just easy to drink it down. The more I did it, the more I could forget that anything ever hurt."

I frowned, "Really?"

"Really," Jazmine sighed before letting her eyes droop and reopen.

"If you're tired," I spoke softly, "You can sleep. I'll be here."

She nodded before drifting off. And all I could think about was that surprisingly sharp pain in my chest when she said no.

Funny, we really weren't ten anymore.

* * *

_Cindy_

I was back here, again. I didn't know how to admit it, but I felt way more at home here than I did anywhere else. I mean, honestly, I felt comfortable here. I didn't feel judged or strange. I didn't feel obligated to do anything for anybody. And that was different. I felt happy, for a change. It was like I was finally getting back to normal.

These people had become my friends way quicker than what they should have. They were amazing. They were beautiful people. All of them. They had probably changed me quicker than anybody else. Maybe it was the fact that they were genuine people. Or maybe because they didn't put pressure on me. I could be whatever I wanted to be as long as I was happy, as long as I had my best interest at heart.

I was more than Cindy the basketball girl, the girl who wanted to be black, Riley's girlfriend. For once, I could just be more than Jazmine's supposed ex-girlfriend. I could be whatever made me happy in this group. And I loved that feeling. I really and truly loved that feeling.

So that's why I was here, telling them what I couldn't bring myself to tell anybody else. I could tell them anything and not feel guilty. They could relate. They could cope. They wouldn't say I was bringing their natural high down. They would understand. I would do the same. And because we had that natural understanding now, I could tell them the truth. I could let it out. Couldn't I?

"Cindy?" Dr. Heat smiled up at me, "you had something you wanted to share?"

"_Yeah," The voice in my head snorted as I listened to it, "so she can lock you away in some psychiatric ward?"_

"_No," Another voice fought against it, "That's not true! Let it out, Cindy! Let it all out!"_

"_Why?" The other voice said so sharply that I fought the urge to jump, "Why she lay all her burdens on these people. A twelve year old girl with cancer? Rape victims? People with real diagnosed medical issues? What is she? She's just upset because her daddy died!"_

"_Hey!" The voice objected, "Depression is serious too!"_

Depression? Wait, was I depressed? Had I always been in a state of depression?

"_All I see is the same, insecure Cindy that was always there," the voice remarked, "And that much hasn't changed. Has it Cindy? Huh? And what are you going to do about it? Talk to these people? They can't help you. They can't! The only way you can survive is to lock it in."_

Lock it in. Lock it in. Why did that sound so familiar to me?

"_No, Cindy, you can't do that!" the other voice was begging me now, "You have to fight this! Speak up."_

"_Lock it in!"_

My mother. That's where I had heard it from. Every time I was hurting her advice was to lock in my feelings. She told me that if I showed no emotions I would never get hurt.

"_Lock it in!"_

"_No! Don't do it, Cindy! Don't do it!"_

But then again, had that worked out for me? Had that ever truly been effective with me?

"_I'm doing what's best for you! I don't want you to get hurt!"_

But I'm already hurt aren't I? I am the one sitting in the hospital. I am the girl who is listening to the voices inside of her head argue. I'm about to break down. I'm losing my mind. Maybe it's already gone. Do I even know anymore?

"_You can't handle it, Cindy. They can't handle it."_

Then, who can?

"_I…I…I"_

I couldn't sit there and be afraid anymore. I had to learn how to tell somebody the truth about things, dependable people that I could actually count on. Maybe, that would be the best thing to do.

"_Cindy!"_

"_You're doing the right thing!"_

And I knew that the second voice was right.

"Well," I looked up at , "I wanted to finally be open. If that's okay with everybody else, I would really love to try."

Everybody nodded happily, no protests or groans. They just sat there and smiled at me, waiting.

"Are you ready?" Dr. Heat smiled at me.

"_You're making the biggest mistake of your life!" _

I smiled back, "I'm ready.

* * *

That was chapter eleven!

Yeah, I'm back!

Hey, ya'll! I was attending a public service program, but I'm back now! Even though school starts in a few weeks and I have a ton of work…I'll try to update when I can. But I will do my best not to leave ya'll hanging for a month!

Kay…that's enough of that!

Shout outs (and it's a lot!)

Miss G2020, Paige1292 (who messaged me to ask how I was and what was up! Thanks ROD!), keysk554, chakira16, Zolow95, Youngkong313, ShellieB, inadey, danni273, Iloveyou1234567890123, LSD1994, and xXMissJanuary1996xX

Thanks for reviewing! I appreciate it so much! :) I love you guys!

Thanks to:

, African geisha, callac, and xXMissJanuary1996xX, for favoriting this! I appreaciate you!

And thanks to anybody who's still willing to put up with my late self! I really hoped you enjoyed this! And I hope you enjoy the chapters to come! ;)


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, guys. I swear I don't.**

* * *

"_The clocks ticking, I just count the hours. Stop tripping I'm tripping off the power." –Kanye West_

* * *

_Riley_

Everything was fucking breaking apart, man. My girl, my brother's could have been girl, hell, even Granddad looked at me like I was nothing, like I had hurt him. My own flesh and blood didn't even want to waste his breath on me anymore. But every real nigga like me has a price to pay for the life they choose, so why the hell should I get a break?

Yeah, I'll admit it. I know what I'm doing. I know that I'm wrong. These cops should be arresting my ass, but they don't. I shouldn't be able to manipulate the system. Mane, I'm doing everything I'm against. And for what?

_For what?_

I didn't even know anymore. Hell, all I knew was that everything in my life. It was going wrong. Everything felt like crap. And it seemed like all the people in my life were going through the same thing. All of them.

_So why don't you stop?_

That was a good question too. It felt nice to be needed and shit. It felt nice to run somebody and not feel like a bitch. It was nice to come first in something, especially when everybody tried to put you out for the count, all the time.

I hated when people doubted me. I didn't like it when everybody assumed I was in line for failure all the time. I hated being compared to Huey. I refused to believe that I didn't have anything special.

But did everybody else even care about that?

Of course not! They all had their damn issues going on. They were all down for their own mutherfucking causes. Nobody wanted to hold me down. Nobody wanted to just care about all the feelings that I had to deal with. Huey didn't just watch our parents die alone. Huey wasn't the only person with the brain. Huey wasn't the only person who was wise and powerful, and I was so sick of being under his ass. I had to do something that didn't make me feel like I was the second best sibling.

I love Huey. I love my fucking brother more than anything. I swear I do.

But sometimes, I wish he knew what the hell it felt like to be in my shoes.

"Riley," One of the members of my gang gulped in an almost fearful manner, "He's here. Lamilton's here."

I nodded as I loaded my gun and tucked it inside of my pants.

"Let's go."

* * *

_Jazmine_

He was still wide awake when I woke up, and I hated that my face warmed up when I saw him. I hated that his wine eyes were making me feel like I was on fire, again. I had made myself immune to him. I had built up all these defenses, so he would never ever hurt me again. He wasn't supposed to be the one I loved. He wasn't supposed to be the person that I never wanted to see hurt. He wasn't ever supposed to break down my walls. Ever.

I hated that I loved him. Love to me meant that going back to that weaker mentality. It meant that everything I had ever worked hard for wouldn't mean anything compared to losing him. And I hated that I was just sitting here, weak and defenseless, wishing he were mine.

I didn't want to love him. I hated loving him. And I loved it.

I had never, ever stopped. I wanted to, yeah. But how had that worked out for me? I looked at the white walls around me, listened to the beeping of the machine. Was I insane for loving him, or was I insane to stop trying to even be around him?

Yeah, it hurt to see him with Arielle, but if I loved him, I should have let him go.

He was happy with her. They never broke up until I came into the picture. They had been just fine all those years. They had been happy until I messed it up. And why had they broken up anyway?

_You know that._

I shook off the feeling deep within me. I didn't care how happy it was making me, the stupid theory. I didn't want to prove it. I didn't love him. I didn't love him. I didn't love him.

_Repeating that doesn't make it any less true._

But I couldn't love him. We were opposites, total wrecks on our own. We weren't supposed to fall for each other. I had always loved him, but he never loved me back.

_Don't say that, Jazmine. Don't ever say that._

Why would he love me? I was a wreck a complete crybaby, a total idiot. Why in the world could he even think that love and me could mix? For what? Just so we could get ourselves into something impractical.

_Since when do Huey and the word impractical match, Jazmine?_

They didn't match, and it was impractical. I couldn't help the way I felt. I couldn't always just make myself understand that things weren't always the best things to love. Maybe that's my problem. I love all the wrong people. I fall in line with the wrong people. I do everything wrong.

"I'm here," A familiar voice that I didn't want to hear boomed through the halls, "How's my hot girlfriend doing?"

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Kevin to ruin a perfectly good epiphany.

"Annoyed."

I was done trying to please everybody. I was done selling myself short. I was done letting everything and everybody get me into this funk that I didn't deserve. I was better than this. And I was going to start treating myself like it.

"What's eating you?" Kevin rolled his eyes at me, biting his lower lip down in frustration,"I came to visit you didn't I?"

I was tired of pretending. I was tired of being around people who didn't deserve my adoration, my time. I hated being the butt of everybody's jokes. I hated that life was going in the wrong direction.

"A week later!"

But I was going to get it back on track this time.

"Well," Kevin tugged at his blue shirt nervously, like he knew what was up before I even said it, "What do you want me to do?"

I was going to end all of the pain, all of the drama, all of the stupidity. It was going to get drained out of my life for good. That's all I could do, one person at a time.

"Go screw Tasha," I shrugged.

"Now, Jazmine," Kevin picked up my hand, only to earn my missing one as I snatched it away, looking at him angrily, "That was just an issue we had with trust. One issue. I told you about those jealous girls!"

"It's not just those jealous girls, Kevin!" I glared at him angrily, "I saw you! I saw you kissing her on her porch. I've seen you go upstairs with her. I've seen you tell her how much you love her when you don't think I'm anywhere close to you two. But I've always averted my eyes. I've always kept quiet!"

"Jazmine," Kevin shook his head, "You're confused. It's the medication."

"No," I shook my head, "It's called my common sense. And I plan on exercising it this time around."

"But, Jazmine," Kevin looked at me, "I love you. I love you so much."

"And who else do you love Kevin?" I shrugged before scratching my chin in confusion, "Oh, that's right, Tasha."

"It's not like that!"

"It is like that!" I cried out, moving my hands upwards before wincing in pain, "It's always been like that! I know that everybody is jealous of us or whatever, and I don't care anymore. They can have you. They can deal with all your fucking lies!"

"You're making a scene," Kevin looked around at the crowd that had gathered outside of my room, "Calm down."

"I'm not going to calm down!" I rolled my own eyes and bored them into his brown ones, "What? You thought that all that cheating would go unnoticed? Well, Kevin Bryce, I'm through. I'm through with all of it."

"You don't mean that," Kevin shook his head, his hand still fumbling with the brown buttons attached to his blue shirt, "You need me. You love me."

"We are done," I sounded each syllable of the sentence, "For good. I can't even believe we lasted this long, asshole."

"Jazmine!"

"We're over," I rolled my eyes, "It's just that simple.

Kevin pushed out his chest, noticing that half of our school was there, watching and waiting for his next move, "Is this about Huey?"

"Why would this be about Huey?" I looked him up and down, "You're the one who messed everything up!"

"I'm not the only liar here," Kevin's tone got lower, "You love him. You loved him when you claimed you loved me. You lied as much as I did!"

"No, I didn't," I looked at him, "I really loved you."

He said nothing. There was silence.

"But you didn't feel that way about me," I looked at the crowd again, frowning at the cameras there. Was I that important to them? Had I really become that influential in people's lives?

"You," Kevin pointed his finger at my forehead, "You're trying to make me out to be the bad guy? You hate me? Please, spare me."

"Spare you what, Kevin? Huh?" I rolled my eyes, "The only reason you're behaving this way in the first place is to save face in front of this stupid crowd because it makes you feel important, gives you this false sense of influence that you don't even have."

"You loved Huey Freeman more than you ever loved me," Kevin Bryce boomed so loudly that it got quiet as hell, "You always looked at him more than you ever looked at me. It was always him before me, even when you were friends you cared about him more than me. By the time you finally came around to me, Tasha was there."

"Huey and I weren't even friends, then!" I objected as he attempted to continue ranting, " And even then, you could have told me!"

"I was afraid of losing you," Kevin looked at me desperately, "I was just jealous. I was worried."

"Yeah, right," Another voice sounded from the door, a very familiar face.

"Awwww shit!" A voice sounded from the crowd, "Tasha Fight's in the house baby! Shit just got real!"

"Oh my goodness, it's the future queen versus the ice queen!"

"Damn, little Jazmine is about to get that ass whooped! Fucking with Tasha's man!"

"Damn, both of they little asses fine as hell, I can't even blame Kevin Bryce, bruh."

I heard the voices. I heard every single last one of them, and I couldn't say that I honestly didn't care. I couldn't say that some of their words didn't make me a little intimidated, a little weaker.

They did.

But I wasn't going to let that stop me anymore. Everybody had something mean to say. Everybody had something crazy going on in their lives. Nobody cared about me but a select few. And anybody who only cared about my drama had no reason to be in my life.

I wasn't going to be weak anymore. I wasn't going to be afraid anymore. I wasn't letting anybody push me around. Enough was enough. Enough had been enough, for a long time. I was not a fucking bitch, a little toy to be played around with. If everybody hated me, then that was fine with me. It was alright. I swore it was. I was tired of just being me. I was tired of everybody hurting me, even my family. And I was so tired of holding onto my feelings for people who made theirs crystal clear.

"I'm so sorry, Jazmine," Tasha looked at me, wearing flats, no doubt because of what Arielle did to her. I was honestly amazed that she was still walking, "I didn't mean to hurt anybody."

"Bullshit," I sat up before wincing again from the pain, "You knew what you were doing. You've known for what? A year and a half now?"

Tasha sat beside me, "I'm your friend!"

"You're not," I shook my head no, before gesturing to her and Kevin, "You never have been my friends. You were always trying to tear me down, bring me down under your level."

"Oh, sweetie, no," Tasha flashed a demonic smile my way before dragging a chair towards my bed and sitting, "you were never on my level."

"Damn!" A few people in the crowd remarked.

"Tash-" Kevin reached his hand out, but to no avail.

"No," Tasha folded her arms across her chest, "She wants to challenge me because she's doped on medication? I'll tell her the truth, because this little ungrateful bitch just forgot who saved her little lame ass in the first place!"

"Lame?" I countered, "And how was I lame?"

"You were lame!" Tasha scoffed, "I mean Jazmine. Who do you think made you who you are? Those clothes, that style? That grace, that spot on the cheerleading team that was all me!"

"You getting this girl?" Somebody asked their friend with a pink camera in their hand while I registered that there were red lights blinking everywhere. What were they? The paparazzi?

"Shhh," They replied, "You know it took a lot of work to get past security!"

"And," Tasha laughed a little bit, "It's really amazing, because I tried to help you out! You were the lost one, you were the one who was so eager to be the next Tasha Fight, you were the idiot who was about to ruin such a pretty face acting, and you were just being little, naïve Jazmine, just like always!"

"Hey!" I started, but she cut me off.

"You will never, ever compare to me, sweetheart! I don't ever understand why you try to cross me! That's such a weak ass move!" Tasha grinned at the crowd, "Ain't that right?"

"Yeah!" The crowd nodded, "yeah!"

And even though, I had just had the most empowering thoughts ever, I broke down and cried in front of the whole crowd.

"Yeah, I know, Jazmine," Tasha cooed, "It's hard when your friends put you back in this place called reality, but don't worry, I'll always be here to put you back in the place where you belong. I'm always real with you. You never have to worry about that."

But why would she say those things in front of a crowd about me like that? Why would she take my boyfriend like that if she was really and truly my friend? Not this time. Never again.

"You know what?" I looked up at her expectantly, "I'm done with you, with him, with this stupid title that I'm supposed to hold down because everybody expects me to?"

"Done," Tasha looked at the crowd and back to me, "You're done?"

"Yeah," I shrugged like it wasn't killing me, "I'm through with all your fucking bullshit."

Tasha got up in a fury, throwing up her hands angrily, "My bullshit? Mine? What the hell Jazmine? What the hell?"

"Where the hell do you think you get off, Tasha?" I was louder now, and everybody was murmuring amongst themselves, no doubt shocked that I didn't back down, "Huh? You think that you can just say shit like that and get away with it?"

"Jazmine," Tasha looked into my eyes and paused for a minute. She was nervous. The fire in my eyes must have caught her off guard because honestly, I was seeing stars.

"First off, I turned down that captain's spot in ninth grade because I was one of the greater cheerleaders who was on the squad, and if my memory serves correct, weren't you almost booted off because I was kicking your ass in every cheer we did?" I stared her down.

"No," Tasha shook her head, "I don't remember that."

"And since when does taking my boyfriend make you a real friend?" I rolled my eyes at her again, lowering my voice so I would be comfortable, "Huh? How is acting lame when people, beautiful people, do it for a living?"

"Um," Tasha was the one who was quiet now.

"That's wrong!" I looked at her, "You base your self worth off of what you do to me because I allow it, because I never say anything. You're nothing but a punk, a coward."

"What did you do Jazmine?" Tasha shrugged again, "Write that down?"

"Listen, bitch," I sneered at her, angrily, "I'm sick of you bullshitting, I'm sick of you lying, I'm sick of your fake ass pretending. You can shove that fake ass little façade of yours right where Kevin's dick always is, right up your ass!"

"Ohhhhhh! Jazmine, wins!" Somebody called out, loudly, and Tasha looked around at her surroundings. Funny, the people who were cheering for her were the people laughing in her face now. I looked her up and down.

"This is how it feels when people lie to you. The main people you think are your friends turn out to be the main people who hurt you." I shrugged, "Sucks doesn't it?"

"I-"

"They don't even care about you. You feel like your world is empty? You feel like somebody just crushed your world?" I snorted, "Because that's how I feel every single day. There is nothing that you can do, that can entirely crush me, nothing."

"Haha, tell her Jazmine!" Some girl yelled out, "Shit, don't nobody like her fake ass anyway!"

"So," I mocked Tasha, using that fake sweet voice she'd used against me so many times, "When you need somebody that's real, talk to me, okay? I'll be here."

"Jazmine, I'm so-"

"What's going on here?" The police officer's voice boomed in the hallway, "What are you kids doing?"

An explosion of people sounded throughout the halls. It sounded like an earthquake as kids my age dispersed from sight. Funny, I never even noticed that there were that many of them.

"And you," He pointed out Tasha, "do you belong here?"

Tasha looked at me before looking down, "I was just leaving."

I nodded in agreement, never more relieved in my life.

"Jazmine," She paused at the door, "You're really done with this?"

"It's not worth it," I shook my head slowly, "It's never been worth it."

She nodded, offering a weak smile that I didn't return, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," I finally looked at her, "me too."

She left, her red flats and blue skinny jeans disappearing, leaving me all alone to face the consequences of my actions.

I fell asleep, instantly, praying that they would be positive this time.

* * *

_Arielle_

"So how is she?" Caesar asked me.

I grinned as I pulled up the tweets on Twitter, "Apparently much better, I think that truck might have knocked some sense back inside of her."

"Well," Caesar shrugged, "Near death-"

"Arielle!"

Oh, no. I was freezing. I was dying. I was in a dream, a daze, something because this wasn't happening to me. This could not be happening.

"You thought you could run away?" My mom looked so upset, "you thought I would never find you?"

I didn't know what I was supposed to say. Honestly, I never thought she would find me. I never even thought she would realize I was gone. She was always drugged up, and if she hated me, there was logical reason for me to go back there.

"I been looking for you everywhere!" She stamped her feet before flipping over a table in rage, and I already knew what she had been taking. She was drugged up, nothing much had changed, "I can't wait to take your little ass home! You've been due for an ass whooping!"

She walked towards me with her arms outstretched and a menacing smile on her face, but all I could think about was getting away from her. I felt like running.

"Excuse me," A cop said, "but you won't touch her! You are clearly incapable of raising a child!"

"I'm not incapable of doing nothing!" My mom was so loud, so ghetto sounding, "I gave birth to her! It's in my rights!"

And she looked terrible, her teeth were yellowed. Caesar was looking between us, and I had never felt more embarrassed in my life.

"Ma'am get out of here," The cop reiterated, "please."

"So this is how you're going to do me?" My mom looked at me, "your own flesh? Your blood? I hate you."

And when she left, I never even noticed I was crying until I hit the ground.

Was this how it felt to go insane?

I think I'm feeling the effects…

* * *

_Huey_

I had seen what Jazmine had done. I wasn't completely shocked. After all, I had figured that she would come to her senses eventually; however, I didn't expect a car wreck to have to do it.

But still, there was no way that she should have been arguing with Tasha. She could have put herself back into that stupid coma. She needed to relax. Her blood wasn't all that stable, and I was pretty sure that her being angry wasn't helping that cause.

I would tell her all of this myself if it weren't for the fact that the nurses drugged her up with some morphine from the pain. After all, neck swerving and getting an attitude with other Tasha has its costs.

Everybody saw it. They kept showing it so much that even I had to run into it, and I hated social media enough to understand how big this was if I was watching it.

"Huey," Jazmine's voice interrupted my thoughts, "I lied."

"Jazmine," I squinted before smirking, "you're clearly still drugged up."

"But I have something important to tell you," She slurred in this low whisper, "It's really the truth this time, I promise.

"Just go back to sleep, Jazmine," I rolled my eyes, "It can wait until the morning."

"No, Huey," Jazmine frowned, "It can't! I need you to know that I lied to you!"

"About what, Jazmine?" I looked at her, before noticing how hazy her green eyes were.

"I didn't mean it when I said I don't love you anymore," She laughed loudly with her eyes on mine, " I still love you. I still think of you all the time. I don't want to. I don't want to love you because you would never, ever love me back."

I didn't know what to say about this.

"I try to pretend like you're not the greatest man I've ever known, that you're not attractive," Jazmine giggled again, "but I'm lying. And I just thought you should know that."

"Alright," I lifted from my seat when she tried to sit up, "That's enough of that. Rest up, Jazmine."

She was puckering her lips the minute I tried to ease her down on the bed. And when I tried to moce, she yanked me towards her.

"What the hell?" I grimaced at the girl's grip, "When did you get so strong? Did they give you steroids?"

"Kiss me, Huey," Jazmine slurred, before getting closer and closer to my lips.

"Um," I looked at her hazy green eyes, "Jazmine, stop."

"Why?" Jazmine kept inching closer and closer, "Give me a reason."

"You don't even know what the hell you're doing!" I glared at her, hoping she would chicken out.

"Really?" She whispered as she got even closer, "Watch this."

And before I could even object, she had put her lips on mine, and I was….kissing her back. I didn't get this. She was drugged up, and half of us were insane.

And crazier, we were kissing.

"See?" She laughed as she laid back down on the pillow, "You love me too."

And then, her eyes fluttered shut as she went back to sleep.

No, I didn't love Jazmine, but I did wonder how she kissed without being drugged up if she kissed that way under the influence.

* * *

So…..Shoutouts:

Miss G2020, Paige1292 (ROD!), MzMinni3, danni723, Nina, Rivi2012,, Lana, Iloveyouhhx3, and iceandfire66 Thanks to all of you for reviewing! You really don't know how much I appreciate it!

I'm soooooo sorry for not updating, but between three ap classes, senior year, college applications, band, and life, I've just been bust. However, now, that I'm getting adjusted to my life, I'll try to update when I can, so I really am sorry if my stories take longer to update. But they WILL get done. I promise.

Thanks to everybody who favorite. Oh, and there are some pretty amazing stories on here that I need to review on! Oh my goodness!

But um, yeah, that just happened between Jaz/ Huey. Even though somebody was drugged up…lol. And Tasha finally got put in check!

So did you hate it? Love it? Wanna kill me? Review, inbox me, etc….


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

* * *

"_I can't believe I fell for your schemes. I'm smarter than that." Beyonce Knowles_

* * *

**Disclaimer: Ay, I don't own this Boondocks shit.**

* * *

_Riley_

These niggas were waiting for our asses as soon as we hit the damn block and shit. They were holding guns, silently glaring at us with tense muscles. They were ready to get this started. My crew didn't have to prepare, either. They eagerly glared back in the same fashion.

By race, we were both fucking brothers. We were all black people, and we were all ignorant as fuck. And then, it hit me.

These were my brothers. We all needed to grind. We all needed to hustle, but this wasn't the way. We had been misleading by greed and hunger to succeed. We had been hurt so quickly that it made no sense. We were inflicting harm to make sure that one side would do better than the other. Really, we were just being another sacrifice to another hustle that had been constructed to keep us down before we were fucking born.

Lamilton was there with his eyes narrowed and his fists clenched. He had his arms folded from side to side. He was hungry for it. I had known it from the moment I saw him. This wouldn't be easy. Hell, my crew was as tight as his was. I was as hungry as he was. But damn, he ain't have no goddamn epiphany? Did he?

"Ay, nigga!"

I had a fucking decision to make. After all, it was my choice: pride or common sense. Go out like a punk and grow up a man. Or fight like a real nigga and end up dead.

I know what everybody expects me to say. They would expect me to do some shit like this. They would expect me to fuck myself over. They would expect me to fail.

I wasn't Huey Freeman. Huey Freeman had intelligence. Huey Freeman behaved as though he had no heart. Huey wore his hair in an afro. Huey fought for others. He fell in love with girls like Jazmine who refused to believe that they ain't got no chance. He fought for niggas without a chance. He fought for me. He always does.

But me?

I'm Riley Freeman. And Riley Freeman lacks intelligence according to Woodcrest's school system. Riley Freeman had a heart, but he isn't gone love these hoes. Riley Freeman fought for himself, his cause. He fell in love with girls like Cindy Mcphearson. He hates these motherfucking choices, but he destroys his own chances with them. That nigga ruins everything he fucking touches, destroys himself.

And that nigga is me.

But I don't care. I'm ignorant. I'm fucking Riley Freeman. Real niggas do sacrifice what makes sense for shit to happen. They allow shit to go down for themselves. And if somebody asked me right now if I would take this damn shit back, I would tell them hell naw. My pride is moreimportant. My swag is more important to me than anything on this damn Earth, and if these bitches don't like it, then they can go fuck themselves.

Real fucking shit.

"Ay, Bitch!"

Lamilton walks towards me as I raise my voice. The words travel to his ears. Then, there it is. The sound of the sirens surrounds us, and I grin knowingly. His face falls to the ground. His brown eyes narrow, suddenly. My crew is falling to the ground and lifting again.

And then, it happens.

The cold piece of metal emerges from his pocket, like we've never seen it before. He aims it towards my chest and pulls the trigger.

Everything slows down.

Jarod is beating ass to get to me.

Everybody pauses.

The sirens get closer and closer.

Shit is going down. Shit that we have yet to even deal with.

And then, the shot. The shot of reality it hits me and grazes the damn shit out of my ass.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I yell and fall to the ground, "Damn, bitch ass, gay ass motherfucking nigga! Damn, fuck that! Oh my! AHH! Damn, Lamilton! You gay as fuck, dude!"

The sirens got louder as Lamilton tucked it back in his pocket, shrugging. He looked at me before kicking the shit out of me.

"I'm done, Freeman. This shit is dumb as fuck. You'll kill yourself before I do anyway."

Lamilton turned on his heel and walked off like a damn boss, and I only wished that I could have the strength to be like his gay ass.

And maybe I would be. If somebody would make my ass stop stinging, damn!

* * *

_Jazmine_

I had no idea where I was, but one thing was clear. This was _not_ my hospital room. It was some office, complete with cabinets and a small black and gold nameplate. Dr. Heat's name was everywhere imaginable, and I was looking around aimlessly at everything that she had. There were portraits of her around. She even went to Harvard. Why the hell did she come back to Woodcrest? I snorted. I didn't understand it. I barely wanted to.

That's when I heard her. She was standing behind me with blonde hair like Cindy's, and even though I could tell right off the bat she was going to get on my last nerves, I had to admit that she had that California girl swag to her. She had the tanned leg, the gorgeous golden locks, that award winning smile, and honestly, she was gorgeous.

"Looking around, huh?" She spoke to me as I turned around to face her.

I nodded, acknowledging that I was indeed being nosey and looking around her office, "You went to Harvard?"

She chuckled before walking towards it and grabbing the wooden frame with her hand, smiling, "Yes, I did."

"And," I paused as I wrinkled my nose at the state of her surroundings, "You chose to come back here. To help kids here in some small town who don't need it?"

She sat down abruptly and wheeled herself up to the desk. She didn't say anything for a moment. All Dr. Heat did was lift her blue irises and force them onto my green ones. I was shocked, but I managed to look back and hear her angry, gritted words, "Don't need me? Huh?"

She was so upset that I couldn't really say anything smart back. This lady looked like she would backhand me if I dared say anything else.

"You don't need me?" Her blue eyes had this fierce edge to them that I had never seen before, "You're getting drunk. You're causing commotion! You almost got yourself killed! Don't you realize that? You put your own being at risk for the sake of a cheap high?"

"I—"

"And you what?" She sneered at me, angrily, "You let everybody down because life's tough? Because your family's not there for you? What? What is it that you have to keep buried within yourself that nobody else can?"

"Nobody was listening!" I shouted back, "Nobody ever listened! They were too fucking busy trying to tell me that I had no need to worry, or that everything was gonna be okay. They lied, alright. About everything. Every fucking thing that they said wouldn't go wrong did!"

"And what was so damn bad that you had to fucking drink, sweetheart? Tell me that?" Dr. Heat was growling, her face literally inches from mine, "Huh?"

"My parents get divorced, they fight every fucking time they're around me, they throw shit, they hit me, it's like I don't exist," I threw my hands as she shot another glare my way, "And don't even get me started on school. Every person that claims to love me wants to see me fail, and the people who used to be my best friends hate me!"

Her face softened, not much, but it was something. It told me that I had a shot of making somebody in this world like me for the person I was, the girl I'm trying to find all over again.

"And why do you think that?"

What the hell was she focusing on?

"Because I left them out in the dust for popularity," I shrugged, "I didn't think anybody would care."

Dr. Heat looked up as she squinted her eyes at me, "Say that again?"

I looked at her with a blank start, "I didn't think anybody would care?"

"And why is that?" Dr. Heat twirled a pen in her manicured hands before looking in my direction, "Why would somebody decide that they could care less about you?"

"I'm an asshole. I'm cold as shit. I'm selfish, conceited, a bitch. Why the fuck would anybody bother to care about me? Huh?" I had finally admitted it. The words that I had tried to hold in for so long were finally coming out, and I couldn't stop if I wanted to, "I wanted to kill myself, sometimes. I wanted to just end it. But at the end of the day, I was too afraid to. I hated myself for not being able to have the guts to do it at first. Too much was going on. I was spiraling down a bad path or whatever, but it felt better escaping on that path than going through World War Five Thousand on my real one. I couldn't afford to have people caring about me when I was destroying myself."

"Uh-huh," Dr. Heat looked at me, "So you shoved them out of your life because in your eyes, they couldn't possibly understand you at all?"

"Basically," I took a deep breath, "that's it."

"But you destroyed yourself in the process, and destroyed damn near half the people around me. I've never seen so many distressed indivivuals walk in here in my ten years of working here. I grew up here. People love you, even I you're being too stubborn to realize that."

"But they-"

"They what?"

"They aren't all real friends," I looked down, "Most of them only came here so they wouldn't seem like assholes, or because they heard that I finally broke up with my cheating boyfriend. None of them give two shits about me. Huey Freeman? He hates me, and he's stuck by me longer than any of them have."

"Really," Dr. Heat glanced up at me, "And do you have the slightest idea of why that is?"

"Honestly," I sighed as I looked out of the glass window, "I have no clue whatsoever."

"Okay," Dr. Heat sighed as she looked up at me, "You can't do this anymore. This drinking? It's over. It's done. If you were my kid, I couldn't even imagine the things I'd be going through. Where are your parents?"

"My mom's in the hall," I gestured to the blonde in the hall while Dr. Heat put two and two together, looking back from me to her.

"And your dad?"

"He just left," I wiped the one tear that attempted to escape away, "For good."

* * *

_Arielle_

I couldn't believe that she had shown back up in my life. I had finally been happy without her. I didn't have money, or fancy clothes, or great food, but I was happy. I had a roof over my head. I was safe. I finally had the things that I never got to experience, and that made me happy. That made me appreciative that somebody would at least bother to give a shit. But what did I expect? I should have known better than to get this comfortable.

"Do you want us to press charges, little lady?" The bigger cop asked me, "We can."

"No," I sighed, "Just let her go, alright?"

"No," The other one looked at me with sad eyes, "We can't do that. We pulled up her records. She's been arrested five times for theft, possession of marijuana, and many other crimes. We're sorry."

I didn't know what to say, what to feel. How were you going to tell somebody that you iddn't even care that your own mom was going to get locked up. How was that supposed to make me feel?

"Honey, are you alright?"

_No, I feel like a giant asshole._

"No, I'm fine," I nodded, the tears falling, "I understand."

"We're sorry, kid," The guy shook his head, "We really are."

And then they were gone, the sirens blaring into the dark. That, however, wasn't what got me. My mom looked at me, deep in my eyes, and begged me to help her. Her face was pressed up on the glass of the car that was imprisoning her. And what did I do? I turned away from her because I couldn't handle looking at her like that. I couldn't handle that I still loved her, but she would never love me.

"Baby," Caesar had me in his arms again, "are you alright?"

I looked at him, my eyes glassy, "I don't know. It hurts."

He looked at me then. He was quietly examining me before taking a deep breath and looking me in the eyes, "It'll be fine. You know that right?"

"I'm hoping so." I replied as I buried my head into his chest, taking in his scent.

We sat there for a moment in silence again. Then, it hit me like…like the epiphany Malcolm X had when he realized that everybody in his circle could betray him quicker than any enemy could.

"We need each other!" I exclaimed, a smile spreading across my face as I laughed from my own realizations.

"Duh, Arielle," Caesar looked at me with those eyes, "We all need somebody."

"Um, no, babe," I shook my head before exclaiming, "I mean I do need you of course, but that's not what I was getting at."

"Then," Caesar shot me a look, "What were you getting at?"

"I'm saying that ever since me, Huey, Jazmine, Cindy, and Riley decided to do our own stuff, we've been breaking down!" I paced around the floor moving in a circle, "Think about it. I couldn't cope with my mom. Huey got heartless all over again. Cindy went insane. Riley became overly obsessed with thugging…."

"Um, from what you told me, that's normal." Caesar raised his brows again.

"Okay, so for the most part it is normal," I threw up my hands in defeat, "But Jazmine deciding to get drunk and get cheated on? That's not normal. Cindy almost committing suicide is not normal! I mean seriously, it's insane."

"Right," Caesar obviously wasn't buying my epiphany, but he definitely wasn't going to argue with me at the moment, which was in his best interest. I was nowhere near ready to back down, though, because I had finally realized what the hell was wrong with all of us.

We were definitely annoyed with each other. Sometimes we hated each other, but that was some stupid front that we placed in our lives to keep a little privacy in. We needed each other to keep us from getting hurt. We need each other because nobody was going to get how to deal with us but each other, even when the truth hurt.

"Riley's in the hospital!" Caesar was grabbing my coat and handing it to me before I could even react.

Leave it to me to figure that out after half of us ended up in the hospital.

* * *

_Cindy_

The group had some new member, today. I had honestly had no idea who it could be, but whoever it was could be cool with me. I just hoped they could embrace all of the love that we had here. I know I needed it. Nobody here was going to give up on me, and I wasn't planning on doing that with them, whoever they were. Maybe that's why when the door jiggled, I was ready for everything that was about to go down.

And then, my whole perception changed when her prissy ass walked through the fucking door.

"Aw hell naw! What the fuck is her bitch ass doing here?" I looked at her straight hair falling flawlessly down her back. Only her ass could make a thousand damn bruises look good.

"She's here for help, just like anybody else," Dr. Heat shot me a look, "Now, calm down."

"Fine okay, but if that bitch even looks at me wrong!"

"Cindy!"

"I will fuck that bitches life up! I don't give a fuck where we are! I will tear that ass up! I mean that motherfucking shit!"

"Cindy!"

"I will tear all that motherfucking Mariah Carey looking ass girl up! I will beat her within an inch of her life. She gone go back to fucking hell where she came from! I mean that shit"

"Cin-"

"What the hell are you looking at bitch?"

"Cindy," Dr. Heat shot me a look so fierce that I sat down, "That's enough. Jazmine is here to get help just like everybody else, like you?"

"Fine, then," I shrugged, "Whatever."

"Um, Jazmine?" Dr. Heat looked her way, "What do you want to say?"

I knew what she was doing. She was too busy staring at everybody else. She was looking at that small kid that I had seen, wondering what the hell she was doing here. Hell, she was probably trying to figure out when she had gotten so fucked up.

Why did I care?

"I was drinking a lot. At first, I was trying to be cool or whatever. I had lost everybody. My parents weren't around, and my real friends," I could feel her trying to meet my gaze that I wouldn't return, "They didn't want anything to do with me. My own parents didn't even know I existed anymore. They had gotten so preoccupied with hating each other that it was like I had never existed."

Her parents? I had known that they had divorced each other, but I hadn't known that all of that was going on. Honestly, I wasn't too shocked that Jazmine's parents had completely forgotten about her and left her out in the dust to fend for herself. They were always forgetting Jazmine when they got mad at each other, even when we were kids.

"And it hurt a lot. It hurt so bad that I didn't want to depend on anybody else. I wanted to forget everything. The pain, the people, the fact that I had turned myself into this fake bitch!"

"Language!" Dr. Heat warned her.

"Sorry," She looked up at me, "It was easier for me to pretend that things were going way better than they had been. I was stealing to keep food on the counter, to keep up appearances that I couldn't afford after my parents had done whatever. I looked like I had everything, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect clique, the perfect hair? But I didn't have any of that. None of it was real. Everybody who wanted my life had no idea what was going on, and honestly, I kind of liked it that way."

And now, she was sounding kind of looney.

"It helped me feel like I was kind of mysterious. Plus, it made me feel important, like I had something better to do in my life than fail. I know it sounds insane, but I was. I was drinking more and more every day, and then, this guy who I had tried to avoid, pushed him totally out. He came back and kind of screwed that all up," She was fidgeting, most likely because we both knew exactly who she was talking about, "And he could see right through everything. The facade didn't mean anything to him. He was the one who was stuck on our friendship more than anybody else. He kind of ruined the whole realistic world I was living in. Actually, according to his girlfriend, I'm the reason they broke up, anyway. But, that's not important."

Everybody was relating to some part of this. Even I was.

"I traded everything good just for insanity, and I'm sorry," I finally looked up to meet her gaze, "I'm sorrier than ever."

Call me stupid. Call me crazy. Call me whatever, but it was growing even more apparent to me that we may have needed each other more than ever. And even though she had hurt me about five thousand times more than necessary, I was the one nodding her own. I was the one hugging her.

"Apology accepted, dumbass."

"Thanks, Cindy."

"But seriously, though, bitch, if you ever pull some shit like this ever again for one day, I'm gone beat the living shit outta yo ass. Three years bitch? Three? Damn, motherfucker!"

"Um, sorry?"

"Uh, huh, sorry is what you're going to be motherfucker! Pull this shit again! I dare you!" I shot her a venomous look.

"Um, not gonna happen."

"Motherfucker!" The young girl said behind us as Jazmine and I blushed in shame.

"This is why we don't curse in this area!" Dr. Heat shot us both a glare.

"Um, sorry?" We both said.

Some things never change.

* * *

_Huey_

This dumb ass nigga, excuse my language got his dumb ass shot in the butt. He wanted the pain to stop, but he didn't want anybody to pull the bullet out of his ass.

"Ay! Don't touch me there gay ass nigga!" Riley was getting held down by about five nurses, who didn't know what to do.

"The more you struggle, the more it's going to hurt, Riley," I warned him.

"These bitches better not touch my ass. I ain't homo!"

"Apparently, you are! Seeing as though you got shot in the ass," Arielle retorted from behind us.

"What the fuck is yo heartless ass doing here? Don't you hate me?" Riley rolled his eyes before going, "ahhhh! What the fuck is that shit?"

Yeah, Riley would be out cold in about ten minutes.

"Some of us do care about you. Even if we don't show it," Arielle rolled her eyes before Riley could even retort, "Damn, I'm not that mean am I?"

"Uh, yeah, you are." Cindy retorted as everybody's eyes opened in shock.

Jazmine was standing next to her, and even more shocking, Cindy wasn't attempting to beat her ass. Even Riley was shocked for a moment, pausing from his rant about his ass. And I was rendered speechless too. This was a shocking moment for me, for everybody.

"My ass hurts!" Riley hollered out, sending everybody into a fit of laughter.

"Jazmine," Cindy looked at her, "Don't you have something you wanna say?"

"Yeah," Jazmine looked down at the floor, "I was a real asshole, and I know that um, I was also a bitch. But I needed somebody who was going to listen to me without trying to just be so harsh. My parents weren't there for me anymore, and at the time, I really didn't think you guys would miss me."

"And?" Cindy prodded.

"I can't do this without you guys, and I'm really sorry. Especially to you Huey."

"Me?" I glanced up at her. She was looking dead at me. I hadn't heard her wrong, "Why?"

"I was an asshole-"

"Um, clearly, Jazmine," I was being harsh, now. I refused to make this easy on her. Especially since she kissed me, "Anything else?"

"You were only being harsh because you cared more than everybody else did. I took you for granted," She admitted, "And Cindy, we were best friends way before anybody else. You were always here for me. Arielle, I'm sorry for pissing you off all the time. And Riley?"

"Damn bitch! I accept your fucking long ass speech of an apology!"

"Um," Jazmine rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry, alright?"

"Apology accepted," Arielle shook her head, "Better being friends than being under this dumb ass hospital roof."

"Ahhhh! That hurts!" Riley shouted as the nurse pulled out the bullet, wondering why the solution she injected never kicked in.

"And you already know how I feel," Cindy shrugged.

"Mane, Huey forgive that bitch! You love her ass anyway!"

"Um," I shrugged, "Apology accepted, Jazmine."

"Awww, look, baby! I told you they'd make up!" Mikayla said from the background

"Baby?" Jazmine rose an eyebrow as Jarod appeared on her left, "Um…"

"I'm not five!" Jarod looked at her, "I can have a girlfriend!"

"Well you better not have any babies…"

"Jazzy shut up! I just got shot in the ass and all we wanna talk about is Jazmine?" Riley hollered.

"I'm staying at Jazmine's tonight!"

"And I'm bringing Jarod with me too!"

"Not in my house!"

Then, Jazmine snapped her fingers and stared at me. She walked across the floor and asked the question that I had honestly been asking myself over and over and over…

"Huey!" Jazmine snapped me out of it before lowering her voice, "Did we kiss?"

"No?" I scoffed as I lied for the first time in history, "I mean, c'mon, Jazmine, if we kissed, I think it would be something you wouldn't have to question, right?"

"I guess not," She shrugged before chuckling nervously, "It must have been the drugs. See you around, Huey."

"Um, Jazmine?" I watched her turn around, watched those green eyes meet my wine ones, "I'm glad your back to normal, sort of. And um, we're friends again. Just so you know."

"Um, thanks," She told me, "But I've really gotta go."

"Yeah," I nodded, "Alright."

"Bye, Huey."

I was alone, with the exception of Riley getting high off the effects of whatever they gave him.

"Spprrrunnnnggg asss yeeeeeelllll, dannnne. Sprunng as yelllll."

* * *

I apologize for not updating in so long. It's been a pretty stressful year, and I've been super tired. I almost gave up on this, but ya'll and another person *coughs* Kelsee *coughs* Kept me going. Thanks you all! I may not update as much for a little while, but just know that I'm doing all that I can to get it to you as soon as possible.

**SHOUTOUTS TO: chakira16, CruellaDeChelle, Eccentric Superchick, IceDragonAlchemist73, sweetiepye2, az, some anynomous reviewer, lala8547, and StarKiss666! Also, thanks to everybody who favorited, privated messaged me, or whatever! I love you all!**

And um, don't get to comfortable because they're friends again. There are a few kinks that have to get worked out. ;)

Review, review, review! Or reread...um...you know the drill.

Bye!


End file.
